


SNOW

by MariahJade2



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back.
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Death marks, Drama, Droids with attitude, F/M, Fear, Force Ghost Obi-Wan Kenobi, Force messaging, Gen, Hoth is Cold, How does this force thing work?, Internal Conflict, Lightsaber Battles, Luke Skywalker Needs A Hug, Manipulation, Obsession, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rogue antics, Snow Storms, Surprise Kissing, Tauntans are tasty, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Visions in dreams, Wampas are hungry, almost canon compliant, snow is scary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-08-23 22:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 55,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16627583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariahJade2/pseuds/MariahJade2
Summary: This story takes place  just prior to the Empire Strikes Back.  The movie is not changed.   Luke's first experience with Snow and how he went from knowing so little in A New Hope to being able to do some of the things he does in ESB,  and how Darth Vader struggles with finding out he has a son.  Luke has a few issues of his own to deal with along the way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For Carmen from Cuba wherever you are, who once told me how frightening her first experience with snow was. 
> 
> “To sleep, perchance to dream”

_Hoth._ Land of snow and ice. That was his destination. The planet loomed before him in the portal growing larger as they approached, glowing blue and white in the bright sunlight, a siren call against the blackness of space. Luke Skywalker sat in the transport filled with anticipation and curiosity and… he was forced to admit, something else, some other ill defined feeling he couldn’t quite name. 

_Snow._ He’d studied the physics of crystal formation in school, but he had never had the opportunity to experience it. What would it be like, he thought as he moved his face closer to the small window. From this height he could almost convince his eyes that he was seeing white sand, dark mountain peaks and dunes and this allowed a bit of a smile to cross his features until they moved closer and he could see a familiar ripple pattern across the landscape, a pattern that tugged at something just out of reach of his mind. 

_Cold._ Had he ever truly been cold? The desert night could chill you quickly, but this would be different. Space was cold, sterile and lifeless; it was the ultimate cold, yet his body was always insulated and protected in his trusty X-Wing.

Not wanting to appear like the sheltered, hick, farmboy that always lurked inside him, he had hopped an early transport to get himself acclimated to the Rebel base. Some of the troops on the transport would be learning to ride the Tauntauns, like himself, but his real duties would be a mix of planning, training, flying and whatever else was required. He shifted uncomfortably in the unfamiliar bulky clothing _._ _Were all these layers really necessary?_

The captain announced the landing cycle and advised them to strap in. His heart beat a little faster in anticipation, or was it apprehension? He couldn’t be sure. He nervously wiped his palms against his pant leg and prepared for the landing. New missions always produced some anxiety in him before they actually started, because you just never knew what they might bring, though he’d trained himself to get over it quickly. Sooner than he expected, the whine of the engines changed and there was a loud thunk as the landing struts made contact with the surface. The transport had maneuvered inside one of the completed cavern hangers at the base and the troops near him began putting on their gloves. He followed suit, trying to appear casual and not excited, though his anticipation went down a notch at being inside.

“Well, this is it”, he thought.

He let everyone file out in front of him. Expelling a deep breath, he stepped down from the transport. The still, frosty air of the hanger bay wrapped itself around his exposed face causing him to inhale sharply. Momentarily shocked by the feel of the cold air in his lungs, he almost forgot to breath out. When he did, a half a second of dizziness swept over him and he grabbed on to the stair rail for support as he descended.

“You ok commander,” one of the troopers asked him. “Uh…yeah, no problem,” he said recovering quickly.

“All right sir,” the man nodded to him. “One things for sure. The Empire won’t be looking for us on this ice cube.”The trooper joined his comrades, and Luke followed the group of men until they were met by the base commander, General Rieekan.

It was the standard welcome. Greetings were exchanged and their bunk assignments handed out. Rieekan assured them they would be briefed in the morning and given their schedules. He had been pleased to see Luke arrive with this group and clapped his back telling him that there were going to need him and his rogues. For now though, they were free to familiarize themselves with the layout of the base and relax, owing to the lateness of the day.

As much as he wanted to go exploring, the rumble in his stomach and the yawn he was trying to suppress reminded him how hungry and tired the trip had made him. After seeing to the off loading of Artoo Detoo and his X-Wing, he went looking for some food. A short search later, he was able to find the dining area. Though cramped, the Alliance had gone to some effort to provide some amenities for them. The offerings were varied and seemed well stocked. _Compensation perhaps?_ Luke grabbed himself a bowl of soup and a sandwich, then went hunting for the hot tea. Having accomplished one goal, he scanned the room for goal number 2, a spot that looked comfortable and he moved to sit. Shivering in this new environment, he took his gloves off and wrapped his hands around the cup. The steam rising up off the surface of the liquid obscured his view of the tea and formed strange swirling patterns that danced before his eyes. He had taken to grabbing tea instead of caf on occasion, the liquid reminding him of the small market places at home. His heart rate slowed as the pleasing warmth seeped into his skin and he shut his eyes and sipped. The room was sparsely occupied, so Luke was able to enjoy his meal in peace. _Peace,_ he thought, _would he ever see it in his lifetime. Were they kidding themselves to think they had a chance against the power of the Empire? What was it about power that could corrupt a person so easily. He had never craved it, yet he knew all too well that it could happen, it did happen over and over in every little corner of the galaxy._

 

Later, having chased away his chills with the food, he checked his chrono and decided to head for his assigned room, at least what passed for a room in this odd, frozen niche they had carved for themselves. Although he was a little uncomfortable with his command title, rank did have its privileges, one being a room to himself.

Luke dumped his meager belongings on the chair he found inside and surveyed his surroundings. Like all the chambers here, it was carved out of the compacted snow and ice. Everywhere he turned he saw white. Not the warm comforting white, like the sands of Tattoine, but a white like Stormtrooper armor, cold and unyielding. White like the bleached bones of the desert. The snow walls were painted with a clear bio- polymer based coating, which allowed the snow to breathe but also helped maintain the structural integrity of the room. He ran his hands over it but it felt artificial, leaving him feeling cheated somehow. The furniture was standard Rebel issue: cot, desk, side table, clothing locker. Like everywhere else on the base, the room was cold, not freezing, but too cool for Luke’s idea of comfort. Heat conducting blankets were to be used for sleeping. Luke stifled another yawn that threatened, and checked his chrono again.

“Well,” he thought, “I might as well go to bed for the night. I hope those blankets work.” He was shivering again. He undressed as quickly as he could and buried himself under the covers. Sleep claimed him quickly, the warm blanket wrapping him in thoughts of Tattoine as he drifted off.

The dream started much later, in those few hours before the rise of the sun when all is as quiet as the grave.

“Uncle Owen! Can I go look over there?” Ten year old Luke Skywalker was bored. His Uncle’s speeder had broken down in the middle of nowhere and he was tired of sitting there watching him replace the power coils.

“No. You just stay here and stop complaining. I don’t want to go looking for you later.”

“But…”

“No buts young man. You know the desert is dangerous.”

Looking downcast and miserable Luke said, “Yes sir,” so softly you could barely hear him. Owen started to turn back to his work on the engine, but the look on Luke’s face must have made him pause. Beru was constantly reminding his uncle that he was too hard on him, and to stop being so overprotective. His uncle seemed to be talking to himself. “Perhaps Beru is right.” Luke was too young to understand the emotions that crossed his uncles face, though it looked like love and fear. Owen scanned the surrounding desert. They had long since passed the territories patrolled by the Sandpeople, but were still far from the homestead. It should be safe enough. Owen looked at the sad little face and relented.

“Luke.”

“Hmmm?” Luke replied but didn’t look up.

“If you promise to stay close by you can go exploring over there, but not too far young man. Stay where I can see you. Do you understand?”

Luke stood up and beamed. “Really? I can go? Thanks Uncle Owen.” His Uncle rarely changed his mind.

“Not too far now,” Owen called after him, but Luke was already off and running towards a small hill. Sighing, Owen went back to work on his speeder.

Luke bounded up the hill, pretending that he was being chased by a Krayt Dragon. When he reached the top he saw that there were a series of sand filled gullies and rises in front of him. He stood there taking in the view for a while, and trying to decide what to do next. As he looked around, his eyes caught a glint of sunlight off of something white sticking out of the ground at the top of the next rise. It didn’t look too far, so he decided to go check it out.

The trip down and back up the other side was uneventful, and as he neared the object, he saw that it was the bleached bone of something large. “Wow. This is neat.” _Maybe it’s a dragon bone,_ he thought to himself. “I gotta take this back and show Biggs." He bent down and started tugging on it. He pulled and pulled and managed to loosen it a little, but it still remained stuck. Never one to give up on a good idea, he tried again, determined to pull harder.

“I’m gonna get you out if I have to will you out,” he said loudly. And that was just what he did. Unconsciously using the Force he pulled with his mind and body and after a few tugs, the bone practically flew out of its resting place. Unfortunately, Luke went flying along with the bone. It slipped from his hands and sailed ahead of him and down towards the next sand filled gully. Having lost his balance he followed in its wake, tumbling down the hill. He flailed trying to grab onto something to slow his decent, but this side was steeper and covered in fine sand and his fingers slipped. His eyes widened in fear as he caught a glimpse of the bone at the bottom. It was slowly sinking into the sand, nearly buried now.

_Trapsand! Gods, I’m dead,_ he thought in an instant, as he desperately dug his hands into the falling rock and flowing grains. He found nothing to grab that held, and as he neared the bottom, the skin on his hands started to bleed with his efforts.

Tattoine was not devoid of water, like most outworld people believed. Life there would be impossible if that were true. In a few latitudes and in certain seasons, rain actually fell, though mostly in the mountains. This precious rain eventually formed temporary streams that rushed down the rugged mountains and in the end seemed to disappear into the desert. It did not disappear. Rather, the water would find its way into extremely deep underground aquifers. It was this moisture that seeped out into the atmosphere through cracks in the bedrock and was then collected in Vaporators by people like his Uncle. In a few rare places, most of them undiscovered, this water reserve was pushed close to the surface by the local geology. It was into one of these water and sand deathtraps that Luke Skywalker was about to fall.

 

Luke screamed in panic, but the wind caught his words and carried them off without a care. Abruptly, the dream-memory shifted and he was falling again. He was an adult, and he was cold, so cold. His body was tumbling down a snow embankment into drifts blown by the gale, ready to swallow him. Sheer terror gripped him, as he landed…….in the trapsand. His small body was sinking, drawn ever so slowly into…….the wind blown snow, whirling and drifting over him, burying him. He was lost and alone, frozen and ready to give himself over to dispare…… “Help me! Please! Gods, I’m just a little boy. I don’t want to die,” but his child’s body sunk deeper and deeper into the………snow.

Luke woke up screaming. His heart was beating at a frightening rate, his body trembling in terror. Disoriented and panicked by the nightmare, he nearly ran from the room when his eyes opened to the white walls of snow around him, eager to smother him. Thankfully reality caught up with him quickly. _No, it was a dream_ , he told himself firmly, fighting back his instinctive reaction as he worked to calm himself.  The very act of trying only made matters worse, for his body was still caught in the surge of adrenaline and to try and fail only increased his worry. The constant rapid pounding of his heart would not stop. The more he tried to calm himself, the more anxious it made him when it didn’t slow down, making the pounding in his chest faster and turning it into a negative feedback loop of fear.

“I think I need some air,” he said, feeling claustrophobic. His throat was closing up with every succeeding attempt to fill his lungs with oxygen. Walking over to his locker, he pulled out his clothes and outerwear with shaking hands, and started dressing. When he finished, he left his room and headed down the long tunnels towards one of the temporary doorways to the outside. The shield door area was off limits for the time being until repairs were fully completed. The hour was early, so he passed no one on his way to the exit, and as he walked, he tried to shake off his body’s natural reaction to the nightmare. _Why would that particular memory be dredged up now and what was that other part about?_ He reached the doorway, punched in his security code and the heavy metal parted for him.

Icy air rushed into the corridor and made Luke take an involuntary step backwards. He stood breathing in and out for a few moments, glad to be rid of the closed-in air of his room. He felt the tremor in his hands and balled them into fists as he fought to slow his heart rate. It still seemed a slight novelty to him when he noticed how the cold fogged his breath. Cold refrigeration was nothing new to him, but this was different somehow. He watched as his still too rapid breathing formed into a smoky mist before him. Ahead of him, small external security lights beamed down onto the snow, their glow gradually diminishing into the darkness. Below him, the wind had piled up the snowfall, in the same manner it sculpted sand dunes, completely covering the steps to the ground. Thus it was that Luke’s first step plunged deeply into the snow. Unable to tell exactly where the steps were, his foot slipped off the side and the rest of his body started to follow into the deep drift. The dream-vision, still fresh in his mind, caused panic to return. He twisted and desperately clutched at the doorframe to pull himself back up to his prior spot. His heart thumped loudly against his chest as he literally crawled across the entry to safety. Luke stood up, legs shaking and looked back outside.

_Where was the ground?_

All he could see was a vast expanse of soft whiteness fading into the dark. His mind perceived no solid land to hold him up. He looked at the soft snow clinging to his glove and it seemed so fragile. His head spun with vertigo and the rapid pounding of his heart increased once more until nausea finally forced him to run for the nearest refesher.

Two hours later Luke woke up to the sound of his alarm plinking. He sat up tiredly and groaned, barely remembering how he had gotten back. The sight of his clothes, jacket and boots strewn across the floor dashed his hope that the experience at the exit had been a part of his dream.

_“What in space was that last night? Taun Taun training starts today."_ A tiny thought flashed through his mind and was quickly rejected. “Oh sure Luke, feign an illness. Some Commander you are, letting a dream make you afraid of a little snow.” He made himself get up. His thoughts went to Ben and what he would say to Luke, and he imagined his uncle shaking his head at him. Yet he couldn’t help worrying about this sudden unconscious reaction he could now feel lurking in his mind. Ben put so much faith in him, and though his father was dead, Luke’s deep need to honor what Anakin stood for, persuaded him that he was over thinking or rather not thinking but feeling. After all it had only been a bad reaction to a dream right? Things would be fine today, he told himself.

After breakfast, he checked the training roster and was disturbed at how relieved he felt. They were starting alphabetically and with only two Taun Tauns not already in use and available for training, it would be several days before they got to him. At least he had a little time to work through this anxiety and figure out what it meant. He spent most of the morning discussing the potential missions they planned to launch from Hoth with the other leaders and General Rieekan. Although located in the outer rim, hopefully far enough away from Imperial activity, Hoth was along the Correllian trade spine, giving them access to a wealth of information and supplies, if they chose to go looking for it. The biggest problems they had, were overcoming the difficulties the sensors had distinguishing between the many meteors in the system and an artificial entity. Testing the sensors with dummy probes would have to be done to correctly calibrate the equipment. In addition, there was another vexing problem; finding a way to adapt some of the flyers to the cold. Premature shut downs and difficult start-ups were plaguing the maintenance crew. Initial scans had shown little life on the planet but some of the readings were too ambiguous to totally ignore, and they agreed they needed more precise information.

Leaving that meeting, he headed towards the hanger to check on R2 and his X-Wing. An excited twitter echoed across the floor as Luke came striding towards the ship.

“Hi Artoo,” Luke yelled up. “How are the temperature modifications going?”

An affirmative sounding whistle came as a response, followed by a questioning sound. “I’m fine,” Luke said as he climbed up the ladder to the cockpit. “Did you miss me? I missed you,” he said jokingly and Luke was not the least bit surprised to realize that he meant it. Artoo belonged to him in a way that he didn’t quite understand. It was more than just ownership, he wasn’t a pet either but something almost bordering on family, if you could claim a droid as family, like an annoying cousin, or what he imagined a cousin might be like, though explaining what it was was another thing entirely.

“Thank you Master Luke.” The words on the droid interface display screen came to life in front of him. “The ship is responding well to the upgrade. Are you ok Master? Ships sensors indicate that you are tired.”

Luke slumped in his seat a little. “Oh Artoo, I don’t know. I didn’t sleep very good last night, that’s all.”

“Get some rest.”

Luke smiled when he read the little droid’s words, which were accompanied by his usual electronic vocalizations. “I will, I promise. I think that I’ll work on the ship for a while first though. The power flux inhibitors still need adjusting.”

“Are you sure you are not compromising your bodily functions?”

“Yes Artoo,” he said with a grin. Sometimes the little droid fussed over him as much as his Aunt Beru used to. That thought made his smile fade, as images of fire, smoke and charred skeletons flashed by in painful memory. He quickly suppressed the images and got up and climbed down the ladder to start his work. Several hours later his repairs were completed. He could find nothing else to fix, so he said goodbye to Artoo and left. After stopping to eat at the dining chamber, Luke was left with nothing else to do but the thing he had avoided all day. He got up to leave and then he remembered that he had forgotten to reconnect the range indicator on his sensor grid. He shook his head at himself for forgetting and made his way back to the hanger, glad for another distraction.


	2. Chapter 2

Halfway between Kuat and Commenor the Super Star Destroyer Executor moved silently through the vacuum of space. Without so much as a shot, it’s powerful image was enough to instill fear and compliance in all but the foolish. Within, Admiral Ozzel’s crew performed their tasks with crisp efficiency in spite of their less than admiring feelings towards him. Their missions of late had taken on an importance and an urgency that seemed out of step with their usual routine, but one did not question the orders of a Dark Lord of the Sith, a fact that their commander did not always understand.

The ill-defined light in the room cast murky shadows on the chamber in which Darth Vader was meditating.  He reached down into the depths of the Force with his darkness to the place that named who and what he had become, only to find his concentration on the Dark Side slipping. For the thousandth time since he had defeated his former master, Vader’s attempts to corral his stormy thoughts seemed just beyond his grasp, each attempt intruded upon by a face so like one he had owned long ago. Blue eyes that stared at him in shock, horror and grief for the briefest of moments before being cut off by shots and the closing of blast doors.

_His son._

He kept trying the word out in his mind and it still did not seem real, but the truth had stared him in the face and Kenobi had died for it. He had reacted in the only way possible when he had touched his old Master’s mind in the heat of battle, when Obi Wan had turned his face from him to acknowledge the boy who was watching. He should have found a way to prolong the Jedi’s death. No one deserved suffering more, but his uncontrolled anger was so deep there was no way to stop it. No way to stop the coming sandstorm. So Kenobi had died and Vader’s life as he had known it was forever altered once again. Black anger rose up in him, and he used it to try and touch the pure darkness again but it was not to be. He fell into a muddied river and was carried along until he felt someone calling.

_Anakin._

Master?

_Anakin don’t._

_No. It couldn’t be. He was dead. One with his precious Light._ Vader pushed the contact away as hard as he could, and threw himself to shore and reality returned. His respirator worked hard to keep pace with his rapid breathing. His door com was buzzing, but he allowed himself a moment to take stock of what had just happened. Guilt could do strange things to a man, but Vader felt no guilt, no remorse, only the detached understanding that he had done and would do the only thing that he could, and no _voices_ would tell him otherwise. Vader feared only one thing and that one thing was what was driving him now. His son was out there, and he needed to find him.

He paused for a moment to collect himself, waved his hand and the door to his quarters slid open. Captain Piett entered and walked forward, the clicking sound of his black boots echoing across the silent room. Piett stopped in front of him, bowing his head quickly before he began speaking.

“My lord, we have finished analyzing the reports we received at our stop on Kuat and they indicate that they are ahead of schedule, but I’m afraid there has been little progress on your personal project. All operatives calling in have passed on a negative response. Shall I contact the Emperor?”

“You may transmit the necessary data from Kuat, but the other project is mine to deal with.”

“Yes M’Lord.”

“Dismissed Captain.”

Vader watched the man leave and before the doors shut he followed him out and headed back to the bridge, his mask firmly in place outside and in.

 

The sound of one tool hitting the floor a bit louder than normal was lost amidst the noise of the busy hanger. Luke was angry with himself. He had taken time for dinner and then gone back to finish. Sure, the repairs he had made to his X-wing were legitimate, but he was fully aware the entire time, that he was really only putting off facing what ever happened with that dream, and he couldn’t help but recall his Uncle Owen’s voice saying to him, “Problems don’t fix themselves. Stop wasting time and get a move on Luke.”

He ran a hand through his sun streaked blond hair and walked off in the direction of the temporary exit. He knew somehow he had to deal with it. At first he was encouraged because he wasn’t feeling any of the crushing anxiety of last night. As he approached closer and closer to the doorway however, his body started to react as his mind replayed the dream in his head, in spite of his efforts to use what little knowledge he had gained from Ben’s brief lesson on Jedi calming techniques. He realized he was sweating and his pulse began to increase. The doorway was in front of him now, but he made no move to open it. Finally he lifted his left hand towards the security lock and stopped.

Fear suddenly squeezed his chest like a vice and he couldn’t breathe. He lowered his hand and struggled for control. _Run, flee,_ his body urged him. Luke turned around, his lungs heaving and walked from the door, each step he took further away, a blessed relief and a bitter defeat. Others walked passed him in the passageway but he couldn’t look them in the eye. He shut the door to his room behind him, his thoughts a chaotic mess. How could he perform his duties like this? This was so unnerving. _Ben? What’s going on here? I can’t let this happen. I can’t let Leia, and the rebellion down._ He sat on the bed and tried to find a calm center as Ben had taught him, but the effort was only partially successful. He got up in favor of a more mundane but frequently satisfactory solution. He walked to the communal refresher and took a shower. The warm water cascaded over the top of his head and ran down his strong back, coaxing tense muscles to loosen and his thoughts to ease. A rationed commodity on Tattoine, on Hoth, water was an inexhaustible resource, and he relished the opportunity to indulge in a long shower. Luke fell asleep not long after returning to his chamber. The data pad he had been reading fell from his hand to the floor. Outside, unknown constellations rode across the night sky, their eternal light twinkling in the cold, marking the passage of time.

The dream came again. Like an instant replay, events unfolded the same as before. He was falling and sinking, frozen and lost. He cried out for help. He needed to wake up. He was going to die. This time though, the dream continued, taking him further down a road he did not want to travel.

Sand, so fine it could be carried by the winds across continents, when wet, became a heavy thing, heavy, and cloying. His struggles only succeeded in making things worse, dragging him further into the muck and coating his cheeks. It mixed with the tears running down his face……his face covered in his own frozen blood. The cold wind blowing biting snow into his face. He cried out to the elements to someone unseen……slowly the sand crept higher as his young body was pulled relentlessly downward. His mouth was nearly covered, when a hand appeared in front of him. Large, black and gloved it offered him his only chance of escape. Fear and hope gripped his heart. He wasn’t ready to die and he struggled to reach it.

_“ Help me,”_ he called out, straining to reach his rescuer.

_“No Luke,”_ someone shouted in his head. _“Not that way.”_

_“Ben?”_ he thought and he woke up.

His pulse pounded wildly, but this time he recognized that he was dreaming and managed to keep reason from fleeing. He glanced at his chrono and grumbled at the unholy hour. Luke knew that he needed to find a way to understand what was happening to him. It was defeat or be defeated. There was no other choice. It was what his father would have done, if everything Ben had told him was true. He swung his legs off the bed, resolved to face what lay ahead of him, but as he went to open the clothing locker, the face in the mirror that stared back at him looked pale and haunted.

He made it back to the doorway without incident or notice, and quickly, before the anxiety that he could feel building took hold, he punched in his security code. The door opened swiftly and made him jerk at the sound. Again the urge to flee coursed through his body, and he fought with all of his might to ignore the creeping feeling of impending disaster. The now familiar rush of cold air clawed at his face, and he shut his eyes against it. When he opened them, Luke thought perhaps he had gone to the wrong exit, for his brain was not fully registering what his eyes were seeing.

He gaped in awe. His hands reached out on either side of the doorframe, as he fought a feeling of disorientation. It was hard to see very far in front of him, but he was able to discern that the steps, which descended deeper than he had imagined, had been swept clean by the wind, the drifts piled off to the right, but he had to strain to see through the dense fog that was like nothing he’d ever seen before.

The air before him shimmered and sparkled, reflecting back the outside lighting. _What was this?_ He had read the preparatory manual and he tried to recall to mind the appropriate chapter. The wind had pushed snowdrifts on top of some of the ground based perimeter lights, which shined up eerily translucent through the snow. Ahead, the fog was so thick it was difficult to tell where it ended and the snow covered ground began. Finally, the words he read came back to him, as he watched the crystalline mist twinkle and shine like diamond dust suspended in a cloud. _Ice fog._

Drawn by the beauty, Luke found he had unconsciously descended some stairs, for a moment his hesitation forgotten.  
He passed a hand through the fog and watched as the glittering particles swirled in response to the air disturbance, inviting him further forward. He looked down and saw that the snow surface also reflected tiny glittering points of light everywhere. . He stood rooted in place, watching the dreamlike scene for some time, until a long, moaning, searching sound penetrated the mist and shattered the moment. Luke froze, and for a panicked second he wasn’t sure if it was already too late to flee. He felt unable to move as the call evoked responses from further off on either side of him. Feeling suddenly exposed, he became aware of his position and his body again, as instinct returned, he began backing towards the steps. He stopped when another, guttural moan filled the air, or was it some trick of the wind?

_Was something stalking him?_   A cold unnatural shiver crept down his spine and he shuddered. His untrained danger sense ran wild, his eyes searching through the dim light. The fog was no longer beautiful, it was oppressive, yet he couldn’t move. Predators attack depending on how one moves. He felt momentarily paralyzed, and the sickening sensation of panic returning filled his gut. The strange howling started again, louder and closer, forcing his muscles into action. He backed himself slowly into the base and slapped the pad to close the door. When the metal clanged shut, Luke placed his hands and forehead on the panel and cursed. He breathed in and out, his mind working to find some solution to his fear and turmoil. Sith! He couldn’t have a panic attack every time there was real or perceived danger he might sense through the force. He needed to find control. This was not like him at all, yet the panic of the dream seemed to be always lurking in his subconscious now. Suddenly the sound and the feel of something heavy slamming itself into the door, literally knocked him off balance making him fall backwards. His blue eyes opened wide and he pulled out his lightsaber while trying to stand up. What was that?!

 

He stood waiting in the silence for the next assault. All was quiet in the subdued lighting of the passageway, the only sound, his own irregular breathing and the hum of his blue blade. The silence went on and Luke realized finally that what ever was out there was gone. He pressed the switch with shaking hands, deactivating his saber and walked swiftly off towards his room, not looking back. When he arrived back in his chamber, he threw himself on his bed, landing on his back. He slammed his hand into the snow wall in anger and berated himself.  "Kriff!" _Did I imagine what happened? It almost seemed like a dream. Did I conger up some creature in my mind so I wouldn’t have to face what ever it was my mind was trying to dredge up?_ He felt sick to his stomach again at the thought of reporting all this. They would probably send him to the Medical or psych droid if there was nothing out there, and he would lose his command. Commanders don’t freeze when split second decision making is needed. Jedi don’t fear snow. Right now his goal to become a Jedi like his father seemed further away than ever.

_Father, why did you die and leave me alone without your guidance. Why did you Ben? I needed you. I need you. Help me to understand what it is I have to do._ Luke called out into the Force hoping for a miracle, hoping for a response, a voice from someone long dead, but knowing that it wouldn’t come.


	3. Chapter 3

Gray floor tiles, lighter gray walls, harsh white lights, the designers of this section of the Executor left their imagination behind when they came up with this homage to military taste. The atmosphere created the perfect backdrop to the constant droning of Admiral Ozzel as he walked beside Vader, making the corridor seem endless. He chattered on in a distracting way, seeking to impress Vader, but only managed to embellish his commentary with hot air, often digressing into meaningless tangents. Vader wished he could sigh. _There are ways to shut him up quickly,_ he indulged himself for a moment in the tempting thought.

He had nearly reached his goal of the lift and blissful silence, when in the middle of a step the world around him changed to a blinding white. Perhaps he cried out, he wasn’t sure, but he suddenly felt cold, bitterly so. Biting wind tore at his cape and he was surrounded by snow. A voice called out to him for help. A voice that was burned into his mind forever and unveiled his deepest secret. A voice heard not only by Vader but by that which he kept imprisoned and hidden even from himself.

_Luke_

_His son was dying._ He stretched out his hand trying to hold on to the contact only to have it torn abruptly from him. Someone was shaking him.

“Lord Vader! Lord Vader! Are you all right?”

The persistently irritating voice sliced though the contact like a vibroblade and brought him back to the realm of reality. Outraged at the loss, he turned the tables on the hand holding his arm and grabbed it swiftly, using it as leverage to Force shove the man away from him. Ozzel banged painfully into the wall behind him and turned a shocked look on the Dark Lord.

“Never touch me again Admiral.”

Ozzel’s face turned from shock and fear to confusion and finally to embarrassed anger before he straightened his uniform and spoke, “Sir, I was only trying to make sure you were not ill, there was no need to…..”

“Leave me……Now.” The Admiral made no immediate attempt to move and Vader had just started to wonder if the man was truly as stupid as he appeared to be, when Ozzel gave him a final indignant look and walked off. As soon as the man turned the corner, Vader attempted to find that link in the Force again, but it was gone. Lost to him in the ether. Visions were no guarantee that the future was set, but still……he needed to step up his efforts. Never the less, he had something now that he didn’t have before. He had a lead, along with something else that he did not acknowledge. Locked away, in a dark prison of his own making, a man pounded on impenetrable walls.

He rode the lift to the command level and walked down the corridor towards the bridge, his cape rippling behind him, cloaking him in a shimmering dark mantle, much like the darkside itself. Men on the bridge came to attention as he passed, but he took no notice. He came to a stop behind one of the lieutenants and the man stood. Fear was in his eyes, but so also was pride in his own abilities and Vader was pleased that the man waited patiently to be spoken to.

“Lieutenant Grael, how many planets in these sectors have large areas under polar or glacial type conditions?” he said, while activating the console, scrolling to the star chart and pointing. If the man was taken aback by the odd request he didn’t let on, instead he quickly sat down to input the correct parameters and turned to Vader when the numbers appeared.

“Thousands sir,” the man said. “ But it depends. How much land area are we speaking of?”

 _How much indeed?_ He had no idea.

Vader said nothing at first and then he ran his hands over the chart hoping for a hint from the Force. “Unknown, but it is imperative that this planet is located soon. I have reason to believe that the Rebellion has a base there.” Finally, after mentally rejecting several sectors he pointed to three areas. “Here, here and here.” He stood behind the man, waiting for the new figures to appear and tried not to let his desire for haste show in the sound of his respirator.

“My lord, I must warn you, it is still an extensive area of space your talking about, but yes, the numbers look more manageable.”

“Thank you Lieutenant Grael. Find the quickest route to the first target planet and transmit the change of orders and coordinates to the helm officers. Perhaps when we get closer I will be able to _augment_ your search.”

“Yes sir.”

Vader left the man and walked across the bridge to the viewports. As he stared out at the stars, he counted the time it took for the orders to reach the helm and the subsequent transition into hyperspace. If the hesitation was too long it would mean that questions were beginning to form regarding his actions, and that was something he could not afford. Starlines blurred and his muscles relaxed oh so slightly. He stood watching the distorted space and pondered his next move. He would have to contact the Emperor soon, he could do nothing else, yet there was danger in doing so. Great danger. He needed to present this new found knowledge in his own way and on his own timetable or his plans could end up in tatters or worse. Time was running out. _Where are you my son?_

Luke watched absentmindedly, as he dumped the contents of his breakfast tray into the recycler. Just because his mind was made up, didn’t mean that he was at peace with himself. If fact his mind was far from being in a peaceful state. He found himself going over and over exactly what he was going to say in his upcoming report. Perhaps they would just transfer him off planet to somewhere else, but he knew that that scenario was unlikely. No, they would probably give him a medical leave and require him to get counseling until such time as he was deemed mentally fit for duty. _Right,_ he snorted to himself, _like anyone would be willing to follow a commander who needed help from a psych-droid._

He watched the food disappear into the hole and thought it was a good metaphor for his current situation. _Yep, there goes my reputation as the great rebel hero, down the proverbial garbage chute._ Not that he was comfortable with the hero label to begin with. He hadn’t asked for it. It had been placed there by other people, but he still felt the need to live up to their expectations. He took a deep breath and left the room, heading off towards an uncertain fate.

As he walked towards General Rieekan’s makeshift office, he was startled when he rounded a corner and was almost run over by the General walking swiftly from the opposite direction.

“Oh Commander Skywalker, I was just on my way to see you,” the General said, “Forgive my haste, but I’m afraid I have to cancel our meeting. It wasn’t important was it? I just received some disturbing reports about recent Imperial movements and I need to discuss them with Alliance Command.”

“Uh, no sir, no problem. We can talk another time.” Luke’s eye’s widened slightly in surprise, and a wave of relief washed over him at the unexpected reprieve.

“Fine Commander. I’d like you to report to the training area. I’ve set up a new schedule for today, because the Snowspeeder flight sims are ready.” The General handed Luke a data pad and said, “Here is the list of assignments I’ve tentatively come up with for the two man fighters. Gather the men, and see how well they work together on the training runs. Make any personnel adjustments that you think are necessary.”

“Yes sir,” Luke replied.

He slapped Luke on the back and smiled, “I understand you’ve never flown an Incom T-47, but with your piloting skills, I’m sure the fighter will be no problem for you. Now all we need is for the mechanics to get them fitted to fly.” He gave Luke a resigned sigh as if to acknowledge the inevitability of mechanical problems, and left Luke to his own devices.

The prospect of flying again, even if it was just a sim run, sounded good to Luke, and it would certainly keep his mind off his troubles for awhile. It was in his blood. Flying seemed to come as natural to him as breathing, and just the thought of getting back into a cockpit immediately lifted his mood. After stopping at a com panel to issues the orders to the affected men, Luke made his way to the training area. As he did, he took the time to check out the name of the man that was partnered with him. “Dack Ralter,” he said out loud to himself. The name gave him nothing to go on, but he must be good if the General had paired him with Luke. _That was a bit arrogant Skywalker,_ he said to himself. _I think I’ve been hanging around Solo too long._ When he arrived, only a few other men had made it there, giving Luke some time to match any unfamiliar faces with the names on the list, as the rest drifted in. The group listened, as the technical advisor briefed them on the speeder’s capabilities and the programmed objective, then Luke started the first pair on the sim run, beginning the task of assessing the individual and team performances.

Several hours and a few minor adjustments later he had most of the teams set. It had been good to talk with Wedge and the other Rogues again and he was relieved that they hadn’t asked him about the distance he had kept from them since arriving, seeming to accept his excuse about needing time to adjust his internal clock to the local time. After their sim runs most of the guys had taken off. All that was left to do was to test himself and the brown haired young man who had waited silently for Luke to finish working with the others. He walked over to the pilot and held out his hand to give Ralter’s a short shake.

“Dack Ralter, right? Have you ever flown one of these things?”

“Yes sir, I mean only in a sim Commander, but they’ve been modified to use a Y-Wing cockpit and I’ve flown those.”

“Good. Let’s see what this machine throws at us.” He clapped Dack’s shoulder and gestured with his hand. “After you.”

“Yes sir!” The young man’s face lit up with an enthusiasm for flying that Luke recognized. He’d felt it himself every time he entered a cockpit. It was a freedom to soar to places with your mind and body that could only be reached within the confines of a flight vehicle. He smiled at the thought and jumped into his side of the sim. He strapped himself in and took an inventory of the ships capabilities. Two heavy laser cannons up front, a harpoon cannon in the rear, targeting sensors, high powered afterburners….he stopped and his thoughts returned to the harpoon gun with its tow cables. Some illusive feeling momentarily nudged him but he shook his head and dismissed it.

“Ready Dack?” he shouted into the communicator.

“All systems set and ready, sir”

Luke adjusted the volume on the com mike and initiated the computer sequence. “Go now.”

Snow covered mountains and valleys came into view. Luke pulled back on the stick to gain some altitude, keeping in mind the speeder’s 175 kilometer limit. The Snowspeeder wasn’t as easy to fly as he’d first hoped, but once he’d gotten it up and running, he was able to adjust to the quick maneuverability of the controls. With the limited ceiling, the extra maneuverability afforded by the T-47’s dual repulsorlift drive units were an important component in this combat exercise. A steady wind buffeted the ship and he was forced to compensate. He flew past granite ranges, only the tops visible to the eye, the rest submerged beneath a sea of white. They flew down a long glacial valley, their ultimate goal, a large ice field. In some places the walls of the channel were wide, in others narrow. At one point an island of rock which was really part of the mountain range, cut through the glacier, splitting it into two rivers only to have it re-form into one further on down.

Along the way, AT-AT’s and Snowtroopers opposed them, as well as a few other surprises. Luke and Dack fell into a rhythm. Without shields he was forced to compensate with evasive maneuvers, and was pleased to find that his gunner was able to maintain his target locks with the sensors, despite some of Luke’s unorthodox moves. He banked to starboard when a shot exploded too close to his canopy and he made a quick turn in the narrow trough, coming up behind his attacker. Seconds later another Walker was down. Something seemed wrong about that, but he didn’t have time to think it through. They flew down the straightaway and faced a barrage of fire from two sides, but it didn’t seem to matter. The ship shuddered as a few shots got through, but he rolled the fighter in a tight spin and kicked the thrusters to full burn, avoiding most of the fire. He heard his gunner yell off another kill over the com and he called back with a grin, “Great shot Dack!”

Luke began flying with total abandonment and allowed his mind to drift into a state of hyperawareness. He remembered the feel of the force as he flew down the Death Star trench, and the way his body responded to the clarity and flow of that all encompassing power. Ben’s words to “Let go,” echoed in his head and he relaxed his mind and body accordingly. He could feel his hands steering the speeder through tight mountain passes and he was aware of his shots hitting the programmed targets, but what he felt most of all was the universe open up before him. The pulse and energy of a billion suns were at his disposal and it was astounding. It was bright and unfailing, empowering and forgiving. He reveled in the feeling and joined his spirit with the stars.

Alas, his moment of freedom did not last long. Something far away seemed to notice him. It awakened, as if Luke had suddenly opened a door better left shut. Then, without warning, a strange something spread out from the horizon and smothered his magnificent light with a touch that felt dark and possessive. It sought to shroud that brilliance, almost as if it feared exposure without the darkness that was bound to it. Luke’s mind retreated in fear and he lost his connection to the Force, returning to reality with a jolt. His gunman was whopping as the sim recorded their completion of the run, giving Luke and Dack the top score. He shook his head to clear it from a feeling he’d just escaped from the mythological specter of death. Oddly though, it wasn’t the dark blanket that had frightened him. That felt… familiar somehow. Rather, it was the sensation of hiding within it from something far worse. He wondered if his mind was playing games with him again or if he had just touched the Force in the wrong way. _What was it that touched him? If only Ben were here to explain._ How was he ever supposed to learn what it all meant? It was as if he’d been given the ability to see without the knowledge of how to interpret images.

His brain needed a few moments to regain some balance before he popped the hatch. When he did, he was greeted by a grinning Dack, and the sim controller. A cold trickle of fear and doubt traversed his spine when he briefly wondered if he had given himself to the darkside. _No. He couldn’t have….but then, how could he be sure? Ben had told him so little before he was killed. His instincts told him that he hadn’t, and that was what he would have hold on to._ He put every thing he could into forcing the sudden disquiet in his mind away, and instead concentrated on the results of their flight run. Dack was thrilled with the readouts and Luke tried to allow the pilot’s infectious energy to prevail over his own darker thoughts. He scanned all the numbers himself and was pleased that at least this part of his skills remained unaffected by his recent problems. Allowing himself to feel this little bit of pleasure seemed to help, and he felt a genuine grin spread across his face.

He turned to his teammate and said, “Great job Dack. You’ve got good control under pressure. Those are great numbers.” The technician standing off to Dack’s right nodded his head in agreement with Luke and gave him the final readouts.

“Commander, I was just along for the ride, you were the one. You were unbelievable. I’ve never seen flying like that.”

“Then we make a good team. I’m glad you’re on my side.” Luke was relieved that his little side trip hadn’t been noticeable, since his gunner made no mention of anything out of the ordinary. “I see it’s getting late. Feel like getting something to eat?”

“You mean shall we chow down at the Ice palace? I hear the food’s not bad but patrons are a bit cold.” Dack paused after saying that, realizing that he was forgetting who he was talking too. He stammered a bit and said, “I mean… sure sir. I could use something to eat.”

Luke laughed at that and he realized that this man was no longer a stranger but a trusted teammate. Things like that happened in war. You bonded with people over tragedy’s and sim runs and shared goals.

They talked as they ate, and Luke learned that Dack was born at the Imperial labor colony of Kalist VI. He’d managed to escape at the age of 17, only because an Alliance pilot, who was shot down nearby, had helped them. He’d joined the Rebellion shortly thereafter and had been with them ever since. Everyone had their own story, but it all boiled down to the same thing. The Empire had taken something from them, or shaped their lives in such a way as to make it intolerable. The rule of law and order and the providing of essential services had been warped into something oppressive and malevolent. If he did nothing to stop them, how many countless other lives would be spent in misery. The Empire was everything the Jedi were meant to stand against. It was what had ultimately killed his father, now the Jedi were all gone. Ben was gone. There was only him.


	4. Chapter 4

The pile of data cards and flimsi that stood in an unstable little tower in front of the Dark Lord, had not diminished significantly in the past hour. He despised this part of his job, as he would have, even if he had remained a Jedi of the light. Some things were an indisputable fact of nature that one could never deny. It would probably surprise many to realize that Darth Vader did not spend all of his time bending and intimidating people to his will. If they only knew, that all it took was a never-ending supply of bureaucratic paperwork to bring him to the point of defeat, they would surely shake their heads in disbelief. _And the Rebellion wastes credits on X-Wings and War ships,_ he thought with irony. It wasn’t that he couldn’t delegate flimsy work to others, it was just that, even after delegation, there were still mountains of things in need of his personal approval. He stared at the work and picked up the next data card with disgust. It was difficult to focus on such trivial matters when his mind was elsewhere. The sound of the com interrupted his thoughts and he activated the large view screen. Admiral Ozzel’s face appeared before him, looking as tiresome as always. However, this time Vader welcomed the distraction anticipating the intent of the communication.

“My Lord, we have dropped out of lightspeed and have established an outlying position in the system. You wished to be informed immediately.”

“Have the sensors indicated life forms?” Vader fought the urge to pull all relevant data from his mind and be done with it.

“Ship’s sensors register positive life forms.”

“Very well Admiral. Initiate launching of Probe capsules. Vader out.”

He turned off the view screen with the Force and the Admiral’s face disappeared, but the screen merely turned to a gray field of interference. The lack of a proper shut down confused him. He tried again with his hand to shut it down, to no avail and he looked at it with irritation. _What was the name of the tech responsible for maintaining his equipment?_   Before he could order the man to his quarters, a voice seemed to come from the screen.

_You disappoint me Anakin._

“Obi Wan.” The sound of that voice from the past entered his head. Its touch was like fire on ice. White-hot tongues enveloped Vader’s shields, searching, probing, pushing for something, something Vader hid, something that seemed to no longer be there for Obi Wan, and the contact retreated in sadness.

_You cannot own him. Luke is not your property to destroy._

Blind fury, rage and bitter hatred burst forth from Vader in words that had lain dormant only waiting to erupt. He rose up with them. “You understand nothing, Old man! It was you who caused this, not I! It was you who set all in motion and now it is you who will face the consequences for eternity. Flee, you vile and traitorous spirit, flee from what you’ve made! Dark energy flowed outward from Vader, like a predatory beast attacking and Obi Wan quickly withdrew and departed.

With the object of his outrage suddenly gone, he needed something on which to unleash his uncontrollable anger. The stack of work on his desk flew off in a torrent of wind, clattering noisily across the floor and slamming into walls till the last fell still. He stood in the sudden quiet like a lone monument left standing amidst the aftermath of a tornado. He unclenched his fist and exhaled as the dark solar flare of rage slowly bled off of him. _I disappoint him? I cut him down, and threaten everything he’d dedicated his miserable life to and all he can say is, I disappoint him? In all the universe, there was nothing more infuriating then his old Master’s Jedi calm._ Vader wanted him screaming and pleading. He wanted to see him groveling at his feet…..but that was impossible now. Not for the first time, he wished he could kill him again. Instead he was being haunted by a shade he couldn’t touch. He surveyed the mess on his floor and punched in an order to his aide to clean it up, then marched angrily out of his quarters. As he passed by the weapons and data retrieval room, he heard a loud explosion and muffled curses come from behind the door. The doors swished open and acrid smoke billowed out of one of the small launch chambers. Vader entered, and as soon as he was noticed, all of the frenzied activity ceased for a moment. Faces paled with worry that the mishap would result in the Dark Lord meeting out one of his infamous punishments. He did nothing to relive them of that assumption, instead standing as still as he could, till the only thing they could hear was the hum of machinery and the slow breathing of his respirator. When he determined that their own fears had sufficiently disciplined them, he began to speak.

He turned to the commander and said, “Report.”

“Sir. We attempted to launch one of the propulsion capsules containing a probe droid, but it prematurely ejected from the capsule while still in the tube. Now the launch cannon is jammed. It must have been defective sir. The droid that is.”

Vader needed to think. It would take time to clear out the tube before they could launch another. Time that he was unwilling to waste. “How many were released before this occurred?”

“This was the final one for this target. It was designated for the Northern most continent. Sector O2-L15.”

“See that all remaining Probes are inspected for a similar defect. I want a report as soon as possible on the cause. This is high priority commander, the launch tube must be cleared quickly. Much depends on it. In the meantime, I will survey the planetary area myself.”

“Sir?” The man started to question, but he must have thought better of it and said, “Yes sir,” and his sense relaxed, obviously relieved not to have been punished.

“If you discover that this _accident_ was caused by one of your men, you _will_ inform me… won’t you Commander?” Vader said, with the proper amount of menace in his voice. He was not about to let the man relax.

The commander swallowed nervously and bowed saying, “Yes Lord Vader.”

“See that you do.” Vader’s black cape swirled in an arc as he turned swiftly and left.

The moment he left, his thoughts returned to the incident with that snitworm of a Jedi Master. It had shaken him to the core when he realized that the old man was probing him. When they had fought on the Death Star he had seemed old and frail, hardly even a worthy opponent. This time….this time though dead, he seemed empowered, potent and it had taken all Vader’s strength to hold up the wall he had erected in his mind. A wall, that prevented Obi Wan from finding the shattered remnants of their old Master/Padawan bond, and from reading Vader’s soul. He must never let it happen. Because of the damned fools actions, Vader could lose everything. He very nearly did, but it would not happen again. He stalked down the corridors till he reached the hanger bay housing his TIE-Advanced fighter. He crossed to his ship and ran his hand along the titanium alloy hull before entering. He had designed this ship himself just prior to…..Yavin. A place that still plagued his thoughts in unguarded moments. As he began the pre-flight start up sequence, those thoughts slipped furtively back to the past, to the place where something buried had quietly stirred and caused him to begin walking on a thin rope of microfiber.

 _Past:_ His TIE shot out of the hanger and hurled him out into space and to his memories. He remembered the shock of discovering his son and the realization that he could not claim him then and there on the Death Star. How difficult it was to watch him escape with his friends, when he wanted with every fiber left of his human body, to declare Luke to the Universe as his. His flesh, his son, his heir.  _And hers._   Padme was dead, and the pain of her betrayal washed through him as if new, as did the realization of the Emperor’s lies. Yet as events unfolded he knew that if he revealed Luke to the Emperor immediately, and followed them through to their logical end, there was no doubt as to the outcome. There were possibilities now that had not existed before and he would not be denied again. It had been easy enough to convince Tarkin to allow the escape. It had seemed so simple then, before he knew his son was involved. Now, a more difficult problem awaited him when they reached the place the freighter was fleeing to. How to destroy the rebels without destroying his son. He could not appear to be sidetracked from their pursuit of the plans, and the rebellion by a mere boy. He could show Tarkin no hint of his true agenda. The Death Star had emerged from hyperspace and he had immediately tried to locate Luke though the Force. His brief glimpse had afforded him no opportunity to form a true link with the boy. He did not know his son’s Force signature and he was forced to search wildly through the mix of life signs for some clue. He felt the force in many places but these were merely the varied signatures normally found among a population. Low-level power that manifested itself in occasional good luck or increased aptitude in a particular field. As the space station neared, fighters began attacking and his mind raced. He tried harder and thought he felt two slightly brighter lights in the sea of minds. One was on planet and one was somewhere in flight.

_Which one was his son and what of the other?_

He had no time and was forced to choose. The one in flight seemed a bit brighter,  and the increasing attacks on the space station gave him the opportunity to cover his true purpose in flying his TIE out into the fray. If he could just damage his son’s ship; he could be picked up as a regular prisoner and then he could have him moved quietly to somewhere of Vaders choosing. If he was picked up with the Princess and the other Rebels on the Death Star, he would draw too much attention from Tarkin. _But what if he was wrong? What if Luke was on planet?_ He would have to halt the planets destruction, which he could do with one suggestion or one broken circuit, but that would only be a temporary measure. It would be difficult to disguise his search for one man and that could also commit him to the destruction of the Emperor before Luke was trained and ready to help.

Small fighters continued to concentrate their attack on a small exhaust port and he searched through those fighters, seeking some sign of that brighter light. _He must be in one of the X-Wings; he had to be. Everything in the Force was telling him he needed to be out here._ His escorts/wing-men followed him into the trench after the Rebel fighters. Escorts? Yes. Top-notch fighters? Yes. Spies for the Emperor? Yes. One was lost in the chase. So too, did the lead X-Wing lose his back ups. Vader tightened up with his remaining wing-man and closed in on the fighter, which weaved and dodged his shots with amazing accuracy. The leader was good….too good in fact and he knew he had found his son. A wave of unexpected pride coursed through him. _His son was a skilled pilot. Luke looked like him, he flew like him and if appearances were anything to go by his Force potential could equal his._ He almost smiled before the reality of the situation returned. His son was about to destroy the space station and he might very well have to kill him to stop that from happening. No…. he could save both, if he could just damage the boys ship. He made some appropriate comments into the ships recorder about the pilot having some Force potential to lay the groundwork. The Emperor would never believe Vader could miss at such close range otherwise, and he was fully aware that all battle recordings were analyzed.

His fired his L-s9.3 Laser cannon, hitting the astromech, but his son was able to maintain control of the ship without the pilots helper. _Impressive._ The tower was becoming more visible with each passing second, and his respirator worked overtime as he continued to try and stop his misguided son. He would have to disable him soon or………he hoped that would not be necessary. Except, he was running out of time and options. Suddenly, Luke’s ship appeared in his cross hairs and he had to make his decision. A spectral choir of a thousand, whispering voices ascended a dissonant scale, till they reached a shrieking crescendo in his head. Screaming things he couldn’t decipher. Time slowed down till somewhere, something within him had cried out, tearing a painful path through his dark soul. His shot lanced out seconds before something unexpected happened. His wing-man’s ship exploded and his TIE was suddenly spinning out of control into space. He tumbled end over end with dizzying speed until he finally managed to gain control. Control of the ship, but not of his emotions. _Had he killed him!?_ He frantically extended his senses out into the blackness and saw the Death Star Explode, and for the first time, he fully touched the suddenly bright light that was his son.

 _Present:_ The proximity beacon was flashing on his console, bringing the Dark Lord back to the present. _Luke._ The planet was approaching rapidly and he changed his vector to bring him in closer to the Northern Hemisphere. No space traffic could be seen,  but the readouts from his sensors indicated that some human activity was going on down there. He pulled forth that memory from his mind and searched for the feeling in the Force that he now knew to be his son. As he scanned the area, the general feelings he received were that of deception and greed. Feelings that rang loudly in the dark side of the force, and could mean only one thing. Smugglers or pirates. It was not totally out of the question for the Rebels to hide a base among such company, but it did seem unlikely. They would be sold to the highest bidder if the opportunity arose. He resigned himself to the fact that Luke was probably not there but he still immersed himself in the force to search one last time.

As always, it came to him as easily as breathing had once been. The Force was so much a part of him that when he rode its waves, he could not always tell where he stopped and the energy started. It had been this way since the beginning, only now, since his turn, he saw things through a lens of a different color. The darkside had its own perspective, but lately those colors had started to change, and he found that it was harder to find the path’s that once seemed so clear to him. He had been ready to concede defeat and move on to the next planet, when all of a sudden his son’s presence seemed to light up the sky like a supernova. Not on the planet, but from somewhere far across the sector. The warmth of his essence, was like walking out of the cool interior of his mother’s slave quarters into the midday heat of the twin suns. He felt his surprised intake of breath and then the sudden shock of cold that came when he felt his master reach out to find the source of that disturbance in the Force.

Without pausing to think, he threw out a dark warning and a shield in the general direction of that light, putting all that he could into it, hoping that it would be enough to confuse the Emperor’s probe. He only hoped that he had done it in time. The threat was too great. His son’s presence faded under the dark shroud and he could feel the confused fear beneath it. An unbidden image of himself wormed its way into his consciousness, and he saw himself as he once was, tucking a small boy into bed, but the image shattered into a thousand pieces before it was fully formed. A corner had been turned and there was no going back. Luke’s future was set if Vader’s plan worked. How ironic, that it should be Kenobi who was the instrument in Luke’s fall to the darkside, for it was he who had taken all choices away by allowing Luke to leave the place he had hidden him. Luke would be dead or Luke would be dark. The Emperor would want his son dead the moment he was aware, perhaps he already was. He had no time to ponder why he did not glory in this step, which brought him closer to his sons’ location, because the sudden fear that gripped the pit of his stomach overwhelmed all feelings. He saw again Luke’s lifeless body in the snow and he knew that the Emperor was not the only thing that pushed him onward.

 

 

_The moonless night was numbingly cold at Echo Base. The clear sky was brimming with stars, while 800 kilometers away the makings of a blizzard gathered. The atmospheric pressure slowly dropped, and the winds pushed increasingly heavy clouds forward to expand their domain across the frozen plains of Hoth. The billowing, frozen mass lured moist air from the south like a seductress, until the storm picked up speed and grew steadily larger._

It wasn’t late, but Luke knew he should probably go lay down as his internal clock still needed to adjust to local time. He still hadn’t gone back to his chamber to sleep. He knew that he should, but lingering worries about his strange experience in the sim and the thought of having that dream again, kept him rooted firmly in place, seated on Wedges bunk.

 _Mewling Jawa,_ he rebuked himself.

Luke had run into Wedge on his way back to his room and feelng guilty for keeping to himself, he had quickly taken his friend up on his offer of a drink and some conversation. As he finished the ale that Wedge had given him, they laughed at the latest prank that Janson had pulled, and talked through Wedge’s sim run. Wedge was one of his best pilots, but he had also become one of Luke’s best friends since Biggs had been killed. Like Luke, Wedge had lost both of his parents and had been forced to grow up quickly. It was something that neither one spoke of much, but both understood the pain of remembering the fiery deaths that had changed their lives forever. After Jagged and Zena Antilles had died when fleeing pirates had accidentally ignited their fueling station, Wedge had, at one point, fallen into smuggling before joining the Alliance. It had become a standard joke of Luke’s to suggest to Wedge that all Corellians must be required to go to smuggler’s school.

Luke leaned back against the strange white wall and listened with amusement, as his friend tugged at his footwear while attempting to dispense one of his usual nuggets of Rogue advice and wisdom.

“I tell ya, Luke, those Taun Tauns stink worse than a Hutt. Just wait till you get on one.” Luke watched as Wedge pulled off his other boot with a grunt.

“Ahhhh, that feels better. These Alliance issued boots have got to go. Can’t you talk to the Princess on behalf of your poor hurting comrades, and have her fire who ever ordered these things?”

A horrible smell wafted Luke’s way and he scrunched up his face. “Stars, Antilles! Put them back on! That’s an order. No Taun Taun could smell as bad as that!”

“Ha! That’s what you think Boss. Just wait. Besides, you forget. We used to share quarters. I’ve smelled your laundry.”

Luke raised his arm and sniffed, in response. He gave Wedge a raised brow and a stupid grin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Wedge. Smells fine to me.”

“The cold must have frozen your olfactory nerves,” Wedge replied, wrinkling his nose. “So anyway, back to the Taun Taun. It wasn’t as hard to control as I thought. The animal responded pretty well to the reins. Just watch out, when it’s your turn. You don’t want to get it spooked or it could throw you off. Mine seemed a bit skiddish. Took off like a Bantha in heat when it thought it heard something.”

Luke’s jaw twitched slightly as he brought his head up at that. “Did… it hear something?”

“I don’t think so. I could see for miles around me and there was nothing there. All I could hear was the wind. It’s strange out there. You can’t judge distance because everything is the same color. White, white and more white.”

“Sounds like the desert. Things that look close are farther away than you think.” Luke’s voice trailed off a bit and he didn’t realize that he was frowning. He wanted to ask about the snow. How the ground felt underfoot, but he knew that would open him up to questions he wasn’t prepared to answer. It was stupid anyway. The logical, sensible part of his mind was fully aware that his reactions had been irrational, with no basis in reality. The snow-covered ground was not going to open up and swallow him. Unfortunately, his body seemed to have other ideas. The longer he was here, on this planet, the more he felt the pressure increase. As if his very life hung in the balance, yet he could find no rational explanation for this feeling.

“Something wrong Luke?”

“What? Oh…nothing. I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping too well since I got here. Bad dreams.”

“I know what you mean. I have my share, we all do. Sometimes I can hear the sound of the wind through the vents in here and it reminds me of….well, it wakes me up.” Wedge bent over and picked up his boots and stood up. “I have an idea. Hang on,” he said as he went to his locker, tossed the boots in, and pulled out a green bottle. He opened it up and poured some of the contents into a cup and handed it to Luke. “Here. Drink this.”

Luke looked at the dark blue liquid with skepticism and asked, “What is it?”

“ It’s called Old Homicide. Guaranteed to make you sleep like a baby. Drink up.”

Luke raised his eyebrows at the name. “I don’t know Wedge. I don’t feel like having a hangover in the morning. You know I’m not a big drinker.” Winking at Wedge who knew very well Luke could handle his liquor. He was a Rogue after all. He sniffed at the cup and was surprised at the slightly spicy aroma that drifted up into his nostrils.

Wedge shrugged his shoulders. “It’s up to you Luke.”

Luke looked at the cup again, then thoughts of reliving the past in his dreams made up his mind for him. He raised his cup to Wedge, who had taken the time to pour one for himself.

“What the heck. Maybe this will put me out and I won’t have to smell those feet of yours anymore.”

Wedge’s face took on an over the top expression of being wounded, causing Luke to roll his eyes. Luke took a generous swig, and the first thing he felt, was a sharp spicy taste that immediately opened up the airways to his nostrils. As it went down his throat, the liquid turned warm then hot, leaving his eyes watering. He fought against the urge to cough, and looked up at Wedge, who seemed to be enjoying his reaction. It was strong stuff, but he had had worse foisted on him by Solo. In fact, now that his initial reactions had settled down, he decided that he actually liked it. The taste reminded him of something from home. Almost like a liquored version of the thick, potent desert tea many of the farmers drank.

“Not bad, Antilles,” he said. “Not bad.”

“I thought you might enjoy that,” Wedge said while he filled his cup again. “So Boss, have you heard the joke about the Emperor and his pet Chooba?”

“No Wedge, but _please_ tell me. I’m all ears,” he laughed, playing along, his troubled thoughts scattered to the winds by his friend’s good spirits...

Sometime later, Luke made it back to his chamber. He and Wedge had managed to finish off what was left of the bottle, and Luke had decided that it was time to go, when his friend started singing, “Universal Primitive.” He felt himself sway and grabbed on to his locker for balance. Luke found it really disrespectful of his room to keep spinning the way it was. “I order you to stop,” he slurred right before he collapsed on to his bunk-unconscious.

As Wedge had promised, his body slept on, undisturbed into the night. It did not stir, even when the dark of the room changed to a blue glow and a brown robed figure materialized next to the bunk. It did not stir, when the figure looked down sadly at the boy and a blanket floated into the air and covered the prone body.

“So much like the father, yet so different too.” Obi Wan smiled for a moment and said to himself, “I do not envy you when you awake in the morning. I predict a large headache.”

“Do not fear, Luke. I know you do not yet understand when the Force speaks to you, but you shall soon. The time to complete your training is coming; and I have prepared the way with Yoda.”

The spirit of Ben moved closer and seemed to sit at the foot of the cot. He spoke softly, giving voice to his thoughts. “I’m sorry Luke. I’m sorry I failed you. I’ve tried. I had hopes that somewhere, buried under all that machinery, was some part of the man I once knew, but he’s gone. Anakin’s gone and he’s never coming back. Vader and the Emperor must be destroyed.” The figure lifted a ghostly hand, and brushed a strand of hair that had fallen across Luke’s eyes away with the Force.

“You look so young. Too young to have such burdens placed on your shoulders, but I know this is false. You are no longer a lost child of the sands, but a man fully grown. Your heart is pure and strong. It was forged in the desert and shaped by the winds of Moirai and my heart tells me you can bear this. Perhaps, someday you will even forgive me.” The light in the room faded slowly to dark, as the figure of Ben retreated and was gone.

Luke stirred and rolled over. “Ben,” he mumbled in his sleep, but did not wake.

Morning arrived like a raging Rancor. While Luke had slept on, safely wrapped in blessed unconsciousness, the clear night had slowly given way to the approaching storm clouds. No dawn would arrive this day; only a gradual change from deepest black to angry shades of gray. Temperatures dropped well below zero, while the initial surge of wind driven snow unfolded throughout the morning, into a fierce, gusting monster. Blowing sleet and tightly packed flakes reduced visibility down to a hands-breadth with savage efficiency. All outside activities ceased as the wind driven pellets pounded the base and drifts piled higher.

Artoo Detoo rolled down the tunnels of the base towards his masters chamber. All of the flight tests scheduled for the day had been grounded due to the storm and the little droid was free to attend to any other priorities in his programming. His sensors noted two gentleman talking outside of the communal refresher set up for the men in this area, but did not pause to record the conversation. Some might have thought it odd that an astromech’s programming required it to check on his master, but no one who knew Luke would think to question his droid. Luke usually stopped by the hanger at regular intervals, but last night he had never arrived. His failure to show up this morning, caused Artoo’s deep rooted protect program to activate, starting with the brief image in his memory banks of a woman’s face, a face that vanished in milliseconds. The metal door to Luke’s chamber opened with the code his master had given him, and Artoo rolled inside.

Sleep. How he wanted to return to that wonderful place of unawareness. Unfortunately, Luke was hearing strange sounds. They had forced him into the fog of semi-consciousness. As he lay on his cot, a desperate wail reached his head from the direction of the vents. In addition to that, something in his room was beeping with ever increasing volume. He also heard pounding, louder and louder, becoming more painful to his ears by the minute. It took him a few moments to realize that it was the beating of his own heart, heard though the blood vessels in his ears. His head felt leaden and stiff, like a binary load lifter was sitting on it. The annoying beeping, suddenly turned into the distinctive sound of Artoo’s whistle, causing a sharp pain to lance though his brain. In response, Luke instinctively covered his ears with his hands. He rolled to his side, with his eyes squeezed shut, in an attempt to escape the bright lights that had just been turned on, and immediately fell out of the bed to the floor. A floor that seemed even icier than usual.

“Arrrgh! Gee, thanks, Artoo. Thanks a bunch.” His failed attempt at a yell had come out more like a croak.

The droid launched into a series of inquiring, painful squeaks and whistles that had Luke moaning on the floor. He pressed his hands to his ears tighter, not realizing that his actions were only making the droid more worried.

Another series of beeps issued forth and this time one of the sensor arms came out to touch Luke’s skin with a sharp prick, drawing a quick blood sample.

“Ouch! Luke yelled and realized his mistake, as the sound of his own voice added to his misery. “Ow,” he said pitifully, yet more quietly, and moaned again, attempting to get up before the tin demon did anything else.

He pulled himself up to sit on the cot, breathing heavily, and tried to glare at his little droid, but the lights in the room hurt his eyes, so he grabbed his pillow and pulled it over his head to cut down on the glare.

“What time is it Artoo?” he asked with some difficulty. His throat felt like it was coated in sand; an unpleasant reminder that he quickly tried to banish. He looked at the chrono that Artoo handed him, and wondered why no one had woken him up. He had obviously forgotten to set the alarm, and someone should have banged on his door looking for him by now. The strange high-pitched moan coming out of the vent picked up and he could sense the resulting change to the air pressure in the room, making the area behind his eyes hurt.

“What’s going on Artoo?”

He looked at the data screen the droid had given him, while Artoo peeled off another set of clicks and whistles. Luke winced.

“Blizzard? Oh. Like a sandstorm I guess. No wonder this hangover feels worse than it should. This storm is giving me a sinus headache too. Just great.”

Artoo responded with a few particularly loud beeps and Luke had the distinct impression that he was being yelled at for not taking better care of himself. At times like this he envied those who had normal droids, but it was the price he paid for refusing to perform maintenance memory wipes.

“Artoo, I know I forgot to check on you, and I’m sorry about that, but nothing happened. I’ll be fine, so stop fussing. If you want to help, go find me one of those headache remedies from the med droid. Ok?”

Artoo gave him a combination of sounds that sounded both sympathetic and lecturing, and Luke shook his head in amused resignation as he watched the droid leave on his mission. As soon as Artoo left, he turned down the bright lights to something more tolerable and walked over to the locker. He had slept in his clothes so he didn’t need to change to walk to the shower. A thought crossed his mind, and he grimaced as another wave of pain bounced around in his head. Antilles. This was all his fault, and if Luke had a headache then so did Wedge. He grabbed his shaver and towel and left the chamber.

When he reached Wedges room, he hit his command override code and the door to his friends room opened. As he suspected, Wedge was asleep on the cot, flat on his stomach, snoring like a Hutt. His bare feet stuck out of the bottom of the blanket at odd angles.

Luke steeled himself for the pain he was about to cause his own head, but he went through with it nevertheless.

“Antilles!!!!!” He shouted as loud as he could. “Wake up, you lazy, flee bitten excuse for a pilot. I thought I gave you an order to clean up your act last night.”

Luke ground his teeth at the throbbing in his own head, and his stomach did a little lurch, but managed to keep it from his face. Wedge jumped to a sitting position with a loud cry. His eyes flew open to see Luke standing there, his face in command mode.

“What? Huh? Ouch! These were the only words that came out of his mouth. He had sat up so fast that it seemed to take a few seconds for the pain to cross his face. He squinted at Luke who by this time was losing his battle not to laugh.

Wedge’s face had turned decidedly green. He seemed about to stand up until he’d gotten a good look at Luke, and then his eyes narrowed into little slits. Wedge made an obscene gesture at him and fell back on the cot and rolled over.

Luke just grinned at him and tossed the towel in his hand over his shoulder and walked off down the long tunnel, towards the refresher.

~ ~ ~

“Psssst, Hobbie.” Janson poked his head out of the refresher door, and searched the corridor for his partner in crime. “See anything?”

“Not yet,” Hobbie replied. “Everything set?”

“Set and ready. So Klivian….bets on who we’re gonna get? Luke or Wedge?”

“Gamble? Me? Surely you jest,” Hobbie said as Janson stepped out and took his own look around the corner.

Janson’s head came back quickly. “Looks like it’s going to be the Boss’s turn,” he said with a conspiratorial grin.

Hobbie looked at him and said, “Luke’s coming? Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. He’s the commander. He has a lot of revenge options.”

Janson shook his head. “Too late, besides, we were left out of the drinking. Behavior like that cannot go unpunished.”

Hobbie’s mouth twisted into a knowing smirk and canted his head when he heard the footsteps draw nearer. “You’re right.” He gestured to his companion. “He’s almost here. Lets fly.”

As Luke rounded the corner, something caught the edge of his eyesight. He thought he saw the hint of people further down the passageway, but they vanished into another tunnel to quickly to tell who it might be. Giving it no further thought, he opened the door to the fresher chamber, with the hope that a nice hot shower would ease some of the pain and pressure in his head. At the back of the small room there were two showers, and neither one was occupied to his relief. He sat down on the duraplast bench in front of the fresher stalls and began pulling off his clothes and footwear. This he did as quickly as he could, for the air was icy, and his body began to shiver as more of it was exposed. After attending to his other needs, he hung his towel on the nearby hook and entered the shower. The pain in his head and sinuses was starting to make his stomach turn, so he brought his hands up to his eyes and moved his fingers across the bridge of his nose and cheeks trying to relieve some of the pressure. Luke was just about to turn on the water, when he heard the door to the room open, and after a moment, a very familiar voice called to him.

“That you Boss?”

“Finally joining the land of the living Antilles?” Luke reached for the controls.

“You’re lucky you’re behind that door or I might be forced to……..”

Luke did not hear the rest of Wedge’s words because he was too busy emitting a blood-curdling scream, as water as cold as a glacial pond cascaded over his body. His immediate attempt to escape the torturous spray had not worked very well. He had instinctively jumped back and almost fell, barely managing to catch himself on the hand grips.

“Sith! What the Kriff!” He yelled and attempted to open the door as fast as he could. Not realizing that his feet, now wet and slippery, could not handle the speed that he was going, Luke’s bolt out of the shower took him right into the bench he had sat on earlier. His knees banged painfully into it and he pitched forward until he was grabbed under the elbows by Wedge, who let out a surprised huff.

“Kanway!  Kark tah! Sea panbocn fa!"

A mix of Hutt and other swear words came rolling out of Luke’s mouth until he found his footing and looked into the startled eyes of his friend.

Wedge let go of him as soon as he could and was looking at him with a bit of a shocked expression. Luke grabbed for his towel to cover himself and reached in to turn off the freezing spray of water with a hard slap to the control.

“What?” He yelled with uncharacteristic annoyance and turned back to Wedge. “You go stand under that river of ice and tell me what comes out of your mouth.”

“Hey, I didn’t say anything,” Wedge responded with his hands held up, palms out towards Luke. “What happened in there anyway?”

“No hot water. That’s what happened.” Luke turned back to the stall and frowned. His thoughts went back to the figures he had seen leaving as he entered the corridor. They had almost seemed to be running now that he thought about it. A dark suspicion entered his mind and he looked at Wedge. He could think of only one person who would take the time to set this up.

“Janson,” Luke said in a dark tone.

“You think Wes did this?”

“Oh, I’m sure he had help, but yes, I do.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Luke eyed his friend, because he had just noticed that Wedge’s face had started to change from one of sympathy to one displaying barely contained mirth. He scowled at him while drying off and picked up his clothes to dress. His eyes narrowed further when Wedge’s hand moved up to cover his mouth.

“I don’t think I would be laughing if I were you Wedge,” Luke said. This could just as easily have been you. In fact,” he said as he fastened his pants, “it still might.”

Luke began to advance towards his friend and Wedge dogged and twisted to avoid the arms that Luke suddenly threw out in an attempt to grab him. Luke stalked forward and Wedge backed up against the door, raising his hands.

“Ok. Ok. I’m not laughing.”

Luke stopped. “That’s better Antilles,” Luke said as he waited to see if Wedge would give him a reason to throw him under the water. Wedge seemed to know this and steadfastly refused to give Luke anything but a Sabacc face. Luke gave up and turned to put on his shirt and shoes. When he finished doing that, he palmed the door release and it slid open.

“So what’s the plan Boss,” said Wedge.

“Oh I don’t know Wedge. How does de-icing all the snow speeders sound? Or cleaning out the enclosure for the Taun Tauns’. The possibilities are endless. Or maybe I should let them sweat for awhile, waiting for me to do something……Yes, that has a certain appeal.”

Wedge grinned at him. “I don’t care what you decide as long as I get to watch.”

“Front row seats,” Luke promised and walked out the door.

The door slid shut behind him and Luke debated his options as he walked back to his room. Half-way there he came upon Artoo returning from the Med droid. The chrome topped droid beeped at him and Luke patted his round head saying, “Hey Artoo, did you get the medicine?”

“Beeeeeeeep.”

Luke reached down to take the meds out of the arm that Artoo had extended, and said, “Thanks Artoo. This will help. Why don’t you go down to the command center and check to see how many more days before Leia will be arriving. Han too. I hope this storm is gone before they get here.”

Artoo twittered and rolled off, but not before he gave Luke another tone of admonishment about taking his meds. Luke shook his head. I better take this now, he thought, as the act of moving his head back and forth was still painful. He dropped his personal items off at his chamber and headed to the dining area to get breakfast and something to wash down the meds. As he got closer to his destination, he passed General Rieekan in the tunnel leading away from the dining area.

“Morning Commander Skywalker. It looks like you’ve dogged another laser shot.”

“Sir?” Luke looked at him, unsure of what he meant.

“I noticed you were scheduled for Taun Taun training today. It’s not going to happen in this weather. I was looking forward to hearing about your training results. I was curious to see if your piloting skills extended to controlling animals too.”

Luke’s stomach muscles clenched. He’d forgotten, and by some miracle of chance or the Force he was being given a reprieve because of the weather. He had to do something about his mounting anxiety and soon, but with a storm raging outside he didn’t know how he would accomplish that but instead he just said, “Well if they are anything like animals on Tattoine, I might do okay, even better if they have control sticks sir,” Luke said hoping to sound lighthearted.

He tried to make his voice sound unworried,  and he must have pulled it off because the General laughed and walked off. He needed to think this whole thing through, but his stomach growled and right now what he needed most was something to eat. He entered the dining chamber and pushed all thoughts of the outside away for now.


	5. Chapter 5

The sounds of the bridge grew suddenly louder to his ears. The flashing console lights found their way into a strange kind of rhythm and time seemed to distort for Captain Piett as Admiral Ozzel turned and left him. “Yes sir,” he said, watching the retreating back of his superior. Piett swallowed hard, knowing that the Admiral had purposely passed the responsibility of informing Lord Vader on to him.

The orders had come directly from the Emperor. There was no mistake about that. They had passed through the relay station on Yag’Dhul directly to the Admiral with the Emperor’s personal code imbedded in the message header. Even now the Executor was changing course per Admiral Ozzel’s orders. The captain squared his shoulders and began the long walk to the exercise room where Lord Vader was currently performing his saber workout. Inexplicably, he found himself counting his steps. _1….2….3….4……_

_20_

_21_

_22………….._

The numbers rose. 1 _37, 138,139… How high will I get before my life is snuffed out?_ He imagined a red blade slicing through skin, then muscle, then bone, severing his head. He pictured the airway to his lungs being slowly crushed until his body burned for release as he collapsed into a heap of nothing on the floor. Still he walked forward as only a loyal officer of the Empire should. He was a man of honor and if he was going to die he would do it with dignity.

~

Dispassionate eyes locked on him in the sparring chamber. A swirling tempest of thoughts rushed through Vader’s mind and almost took his concentration from the task at hand. Almost was the operative word, for control was something that he rarely gave up and he would not do so now. Across the room a specially designed battle droid continued its relentless barrage of blaster fire, which the Dark Lord’s blade deflected with ease. The private sparring chamber had been set up according to Vader’s specifications, and contained several obstacles, hidden weapons, and temporary hides. The droid was a formidable adversary, gun-metal black and narrow headed, it stood nearly as tall as Vader himself. He let his mechanical opponent move closer and then dodged to the right, away from the advancing machine. He grunted in surprise when his foot caught on a seam in the floor padding, tipping him sideways and causing his body to slam to the floor. Compensating, he rolled onto his back while bringing his blood red blade across his chest diagonally to repulse the shots now coming from the remote hovering across the room. Despite his fall, he had temporarily maneuvered the droid out of position. It was a well-designed opponent, but not quite as fast as a Sith Lord. While it turned toward him, Vader took the opportunity to use the Force to hurl a cylindrical storage container at its feet, knocking his adversary to the floor. Taking advantage of the momentary lull in blaster fire, the dark lord rose up and disappeared behind one of the rectangular hides. He barely took note of his breather adjusting to compensate for his increased need for oxygen, because the training remote came buzzing over his left shoulder, firing in a rapid repeating pattern. Losing patience with the little stinging ball, he positioned his lightsaber to deflect the next shot right into a vulnerable area and it exploded in a satisfying bang. _How many of these mechanical, biting, gadflies have I destroyed in my lifetime? Hundreds? Thousands?_ He had lost count. What really mattered was that this activity allowed him to expend some of his excess energy. He was getting closer to Luke with each passing moment. He could feel it, and the building anticipation inside him was beyond anything he had expected.

Under ordinary circumstances, his workouts were intense but routine. Today he found himself pushing his body further than he had done in some time. He planned to be ready. He intended to train Luke as quickly as possible, and for a moment he imagined his son, lightsaber in hand, standing side by side with him. A secret possessive need opened a tiny crack into a space inside him that was normally an empty void, and he swore to himself that his plan, and not the Emperor’s, would prevail. His Master who had lied and told him that _“she”_ had died, when she had lived long enough to give birth. Luke was small like his…he was small, but that could be used to his advantage. It would make him lighter, more agile, quicker than his opponents. _Soon you will be here with me, my son._

A blast hit the wall behind him as the battle droid stalked closer, cutting off Vader’s thoughts. As it rounded the obstacle, Vader’s blade came slicing down across the droid’s hand, which flew across the floor, its gun still gripped in useless fingers. He used the force and hurled his large body over the hide to avoid the sudden burst of electrical energy that erupted from the palm of the droid’s other hand. His enemy was designed to be relentless. Each loss only resulted in some new strategy or weapon being deployed. This time he had avoided the shock cannon’s discharge, but knew that it wouldn’t be for long.

Across the room, a small spherical object clicked into life from the niche it rested in and moved slowly across the room seeking out the heat source noted by its thermal register. Vader was only dimly aware of this fact while he concentrated on directing another energy discharge away from his body. If he remembered correctly, there was a way he could temporarily short circuit the battle droid if he turned that discharge back on it. Setting his feet, he worked to achieve that end. Its yellow eyes stared at him in the same cold assessing way that the Emperor was wont to do, and Vader wondered if his droid design had been a subconscious act. It threw several shock volts in his direction, forcing him to hastily change his grip on the lightsaber to counter them all. It stalked forward letting loose with another attack. To counter, Vader held his red blade up at an oblique angle to catch the bolts across the length of the saber. A sharp pain lanced into his right shoulder as an unexpected shot from behind got through his defenses.

“Ah!” he cried out reflexively, and ducked as the remote flew over his head.

The movement caused his deflection to go wide and the droid was still advancing, getting ready to throw out another charge. The sting in his shoulder reminded him that he had narrowed his focus too much. His mind had been walking down strange roads of late, lending an unsatisfactory feeling to his touch on the darkside. Displeased, he let his frustration out on the machines in front of him. Blue-green light erupted from the droid’s hand, just as Vader grabbed a hold of the remote with the force and tossed it in front of the energy stream. The metal ball exploded, sending little bits of shrapnel across the room in all directions. Vader took advantage of this distraction to charge forward meeting the bolt at just the right angle to send the charge arcing back towards the droid, landing square in its face. The machine convulsed for a long moment and then went still, its glowing eyes suddenly darkened. He swung his saber back in the beginnings of a killing blow and brought the blood red blade forward in a head severing swing, only to stop mere centimeters from the droid’s neck.

_No. This isn’t finished. Not yet. There is little to be gained from destroying my creation._ He had only a few moments at best before the battle droid’s back-up control system kicked in. Vader lowered his saber and looked away from it. _Games within games._ He had better get control of himself if he was to be the victor. He looked back at the black droid, and his thoughts once again turned to the Emperor.

His master was playing games with him. That he knew with a certainty. _Just like I toy with this droid._ Lull. Feint. Strike. Vader had no doubt that the kill point would eventually be leveled at his son. It was the where and how that he needed to anticipate. If all else failed he would have to be most convincing in his loyalty and persuasive in convincing the Emperor with regard to turning the boy. After Yavin, his immediate instinct to withhold the truth of his son’s existence had become a trap of sorts. Having made the choice to deceive the Emperor on the extent of his knowledge, as long as possible, he was forced to maintain the illusion that he knew nothing.

When days, then weeks, then months passed with no communication to him from the Emperor regarding the pilot who had destroyed the Death Star, he had briefly deluded himself into thinking that his master had been too busy or distracted to read the reports himself. No one but the Emperor would understand the significance of the name Skywalker. He eventually disregarded that illusion when he began to notice an odd phrase, placed just so, here and there in their conversations. Words so subtle that he could never be sure if they were an accident or a message. Still he said nothing. In this way the waiting game began, waiting for that call to appear before Palpatine and discuss the existence of Luke Skywalker.

_Luke._ A chill suddenly went up his spine, and he viciously closed off the feeling of anxiety that accompanied it. He would not go down that road right now. Nothing would stop him from finding his son. No shades from the past, no Emperor, and no visions from the future.

As if to mock him, the droid’s head lifted and turned malevolent eyes in his direction.

~

Piett turned a corner and the last corridor lay before him. He could see the entrance to Lord Vader's sparring chamber further ahead, and he halted.

_318_

_Will the mythic collector of souls await me on the other side or will I live to re-tell that allegorical tale to my grandchildren?_ He shook off the pointless thought with a rueful sigh. He would find out soon enough.

“Captain Piett. Captain Piett.” The voice coming up behind him sounded unusually loud in the empty corridor and Piett resisted the urge to flinch.

“What is it, Ensign?”

“Sir, I finished that report you requested and I did find some ways to improve our shortage problem.”

Out of habit, Piett’s eyes did a quick assessment of the boy who stood there, expectantly holding out a data card. _Probably hoping his work will impress me._ He took the card from the ensign’s hand wondering if he had ever been that young and suddenly wishing he still was. “Very good, Ensign. See the scheduling officer and have him set up an appointment so we can go over this.”

“Yes,sir,” the boy replied proudly.

“Dismissed, Ensign.”

Piett watched the young man leave with the crisp gait of youth, and took a deep breath before heading toward his destination. _Ah, to be a fresh, young officer again, free from the daily threat of losing my life to Vader, where orders are clear and unambiguous._ In no time at all he found himself in front of the door to the sparring chamber.

_327_

His throat suddenly dry, he tapped the announcer by the door panel. _If I retain my head, I should remember this number for the Blue Star lottery_. The door opened with a soft hiss. He had been around Vader long enough not to expect the Sith Lord to be standing on the other side. He understood that the panel had been opened with the Force. What he didn’t expect was to find a thick cloud of gray smoke and a black battle droid, bizarrely paused in mid attack, looking as if it strained to move against some invisible grip. He moved his eyes from the uncomfortable sight to the billowing smoke. Ahead of him, he could just make out a hint of swirling black within the gray moving towards him. Lord Vader emerged from the center of the haze like the collector of souls come to take his due. The only thing that spoiled the effect was the visible smoking hole in the Dark Lord’s cape.

~

“Yes, Captain. What is it?” The man standing before him seemed reluctant to speak and Vader had no patience with that kind of behavior at the moment. Especially coming from such an unlikely source. Piett had never stuck him as the nervous type. He didn’t like the implication.

“Lord Vader. I was sent to inform you that we received a communication from the Emperor…”

_Sent?_ The little word grabbed Vader’s attention and he quickly interrupted. “Why was the transmission not transferred to this room? It is fully equipped.”

Vader could see the twitch in Piett’s cheek before the captain spoke. “I’m not sure, Sir. Perhaps the admiral was not aware.” Piett shifted his body slightly, putting a little more distance between them. “I was told to inform you that we have been ordered by the Emperor to proceed to the planet Thyferra. The course change has been made and we are en route now.” Piett held out a message chip to him and Vader took it. “The Emperor’s transmission, sir.”

The even breathing of Vader’s respirator was almost glacially calm, belying the anger building underneath. Silence filled the chamber, but it was a quite like that of the battle droid--a silence just waiting to be released into deadly rage and violence.

Piett stood tensely before him, but Vader’s mind had already dismissed him. Minutes passed while Vader’s thoughts focused only on the message in his hand and the fact that he was once again to be snatched from his goal so close to achieving it. It was only the slight shifting of Piett’s feet and his furtive glance at Vader’s lightsaber that drew the Dark Lord temporarily out of his stormy contemplations.

“Dismissed, Captain,” Vader’s deep voice rumbled, while his hand gripped tightly around the chip.

Piett clicked his heels together and bowed, his tightly held muscles visibly relaxing. “Sir,” he said in acknowledgment before removing himself as quickly as protocol allowed.

The doors shut behind him and Piett sagged against them for a brief moment. He then pulled out a comlink and spoke into it. “A thousand credits on 327.”

When the sound of the doors sliding shut ceased, Vader plugged the chip in and activated the message. A miniature holo of the Emperor appeared, telling him he was to make a visit to the bacta brokers on Thyferra and to remind the leaders of the bickering human corporate factions of Zaltin and Xucphra just who allowed them to control all Bacta production. It ended a short while later with the Emperor saying, “I’m sure you can spare some time to attend to this important matter, Lord Vader.” The little figure that had just glibly delayed and possibly destroyed Vader’s mission winked out. He removed the chip and stared at it lying in the palm of his mechanical hand.

_He diverts me for this? It’s not possible…_ But he knew in the end that with his master, all things were possible. Malignant suspicion and frustration turned to uncontainable fury. He wheeled around, his eyes landing on the battle droid still poised for attack, and in that moment the darkside was fully with him, urging him to unleash its power. He held up the hand containing the chip and started to squeeze. As the data was slowly destroyed beneath his palm, so too did the black metal coverings of the battle droid begin to buckle and distort as it slowly crushed beneath the Dark Lords tightening Force grip. It started slowly, but soon the popping and grinding sound of metal filled the chamber. Sparks began to fly as protesting circuits shorted out beneath the onslaught. With the black droid’s body no longer able to stand, it fell to the floor with a crash. Vader walked over to it and stared at the droid’s head, which he had left intact. The yellow eyes, no longer lit with power looked vacantly up towards the ceiling. In one final cry of rage, Vader ignited his lightsaber and swung it down, splitting the skull in two.

The hum of a saber being extinguished broke the silence that followed his loss of control. With his anger now spent Vader strode from the room never once looking back at the carnage he had left.

~~

Caf, just what his brain needed right now, something stronger than tea. The welcome smell of it wafted up into his nose as he carried the warm cup and his breakfast over to the tables. Luke looked around seeking an empty spot, and sat down at a small table, near the far wall.

He was about to stab a nice mouthful of scrambled Kurka egg with Brundza cheese when it became apparent that he’d forgotten a fork. His mind felt muddy and his head still hurt, though perhaps a fraction less now that he had taken the meds. Sighing, he got back up to retrieve the untensil and returned to his table only to find that someone had taken the seat opposit him.

“Morning commander” a mellow alto voice came from a rather pleasant looking dark haired woman. She looked to be perhaps around 10 years older than himself. His mind raced to recall the personnel briefing he was given when he arrived, and dredged up her title if not her name.

He sat down and reached out his hand in greeting. “Doctor...” and let the pitch of his voice indicate he couldn’t recall her name.

“Didukh, Lada Didukh” “Hope you don’t mind if I join you. The other tables are filling up. But you can call me what everyone else does. Doctor D.”

Luke smiled and took a quick sip of his caff before replying. “Pleased to meet you Doc, I’m Luke”. His stomach growled reminding him to eat and he willingly obliged with a healthy shovel of eggs into his mouth. She looked at him with her hazel eyes and returned a smile and dug into the food on her tray as they spent the next few moments filling their stomachs.

Luke finished his caf and decided he needed another.

“I’m getting another cup, would you like one?” Luke said standing up, his lightsaber bumping against the side of the table as he did.

“Sure commander, that would be nice. Cream, no sweetener.”

When he returned, she was reading some notes on a flimsy and looked up to thank him as he passed her the cup and sat down. This time he saw her eyes track to his lightsaber.

“I see you carry a lightsaber along with your standard weapons. Interesting choice for a fighter pilot.”

“It belonged to my father and it’s come in handy a few times.”

“What a treasure,” was the only reply she made.

 

Luke didn’t want to go into his connection to the force with someone he didn’t know, and left it at that. He still felt uncomfortable with the attention he received since the Medal ceremony on Yavin, though he was pleased that even though she probably knew who he was, she didn’t bring it up. At least command had prohibited filming the honors to nominally protect them, but he knew it wasn’t much of a deterrent to anyone that wanted to know. Once the euphoria of not dying, and the rush of destroying the threat to his friends and comrades had passed, the reality of it all sank in not too long after so he avoided talking about it with most people. Not all of his friends had made it. Losing Biggs was especially painful, and he felt not only grief but guilt, as if he had somehow traded his friends life for his own. Their long friendship and competitive natures which bonded them over many a race back home, gone in an instant, all to protect Luke. It was the wingman’s job, and one which Luke had filled for others himself since then, but it didn’t change the loss. Luke knew he had also been following orders when he destroyed the Death Star, but so many lives, just gone like that, and many were simply people doing jobs, not soldiers. And he thought about Leia in the cell. How many innocent prisoners might have died at his hands? Collateral damage they called it. It was something he would carry for the rest of his life he knew.

Just then the lights flickered, breaking into his somber thoughts and plunging the room in darkness a few times before returning.

“Storm outside is getting worse. I hope we don’t lose power, I’ve got a few patients it would negatively affect.” Her voice brought him back to the present.

The thought made Luke shiver a bit and he finished drinking the rest of his caf to ward off a sudden flash of uneasiness. The sound of the wind coming through the vents flashed him back to tales his friends would tell each other as children. Legends said that the wailing sounds of the desert wind were the ghosts of all those killed by the Tuskens crying out for help in despair. "I don't like that idea either, in more ways than one."

Her wrist comm chirped a message and she read it and stood.

“Looks like I’ve got a patient, another sprained ankle. That’s the third time since yesterday. They need to put down more floor grips in the tunnels to keep people from falling,” she shook her head in annoyance. “ Thanks for the company. If you every need anything feel free to stop by my so called med chamber, therapy room and all around party palace,” she said with a slight chuckle.

“No problem doc. Will do.”

 

He watched her leave and was about to leave himself when he saw Hobbie and Janson enter. Good. He needed a distraction from where his thoughts just went. Luke’s eyes narrowed and he brought up all the revenge scenarios he’d thought up after the shower incident. He quickly scanned the room to see if Wedge was anywhere in the vicinity. He did promise him after all. He couldn’t see him for the clutch of people standing in his line of sight, but he thought he heard his voice behind them. Luke stood up walking casually over to return his tray and dispose of the trash but his intention was to get a better angle to get Wedge’s attention.

Wedge, he saw, had already sat down with his food and before Janson and Hobbie could get there, he waved a greeting to Wedge when he looked in his direction, adding a nod and a thumb over his shoulder towards the approaching men. He signaled that revenge was forthcoming.

Luke positioned himself behind a pole as the men walked over to the counter to get something to eat. He wasn’t really sure what he was going to do, but perhaps opportunity would present itself to him. Hobbie didn’t get much to work with only some fried egg on toast and a caff, but it was enough. Wes Janson’s tray was a little harder to see but he did see the steam rising from his cup. Good. As they moved down the line closer to the condiment section, he wondered for a moment if he could pull off what he was thinking.

Ben had briefly touched on the things a Jedi could use the force to do when they had been on the Falcon together, and moving objects was one of the things he’d demonstrated to Luke, but at the time Luke couldn’t begin to concentrate enough to do anything but watch and perhaps fleetingly feel what Ben was doing. Since then, he had taken some of his off time to read anything he could find on the Jedi and try to practice the skill. He’d had some success, but there were still times when nothing happened. Usually when he was angry or frustrated or distracted. He decided this would be good practice, and one couldn’t call this an attack, more like team negotiations. He made a lopsided grin at that thought and focused his eyes on the target.

 

Hobbie’s tray was first and when his head was turned in conversation with someone, Luke acted. It was difficult at first, but he soon felt the force with him and he could move the items he needed to affect the taste of the eggs and the caf. He could see Janson had some sort of pastry and Luke decided to wait on that till he got to the table.

As Janson was about to sit, Luke nudged the caf just enough to tip over on to the Pastry causing a loud yelp out of his friend. Hobbie and Wedge were laughing and calling him any number of euphemisms for clumsy, so Luke decided to add one more nudge, this time directing it to Janson’s chair right before he sat down, resulting in even more ribbing as he tumbled back on his rear.

A room full of people started laughing and Wes's face turned red and scowled with a touch of annoyance but mostly feigned outrage.

Luke’s eyes sparkled with amusement and he quickly ducked behind someone when his friend’s head moved in his direction. Wes righted himself and said, “All right, already, the floor show is done”. Wedge, was pretending to be chastened, but only enough to prove he didn’t mean it.

But it wasn’t done. Hobbie’s hand was slowly moving a forkful of overly salted eggs to his mouth. Closer, closer, in.

It took only a few seconds to show on Hobbie’s face as Luke watched from his vantage point. His eyes flew open and a muffled choking sound came out as the offending food had already been swallowed before it registered on his taste buds.

“GAH!” “What the Kriff?”  
Wedge was smirking. Wes looked suspicious and searched the room with his eyes. Hobbie grabbed his cup to wash down the offending taste only to spit it all right back out again. The Caf was sweet enough to send somebody into a coma.

Luke could hold in his laughter no longer as he revealed himself and started walking over to the table with a grin that was bigger than a spanner. A potential mistake, but one that he was willing to risk.

Hobbie glared at him and Wedge was losing it. More howls of laughter and teasing erupted from the room. When Luke reached the table Wedge stood to give him a high five and Wes and Hobbie yelled in unison.

“YOU! You were in on this too.”

Wedge shrugged his shoulders in a mock innocent gesture and said, “Who me? I was just an observer. The commander there was the brains behind this operation.”

 

Luke’s smug look was quickly transformed into one of command.

“Attention: Stand up straight when your commander talks to you Janson, Klivian

You both look like something a dianoga dragged under the pond.”

Both of them reflexively stood stiffer owing to ingrained muscle memory from alliance training, but Luke couldn’t keep up the bluff and burst out laughing again.

He clapped them both on the back and motioned them towards the table.

“All right, all right, you got us and yes we know we deserved it, but no fair using your magic tricks,” Hobbie said. “Next time we need a handicap.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

They all laughed again and sat together talking for a time, during which Janson and Hobbie retrieved more food and ate.

Eventually Luke stood, checking his chrono saying, “Well guys it’s been fun but duty calls,” and as he was leaving the dining area,  the lights started flickering again while a high pitched wail came though one of the vents in the room from the growing storm outside.

Thick ominous clouds overspread the base as the blizzard gathered strength, the lower pressure in the east meeting the higher pressure to the west created a tight pressure gradient, building stronger and stronger winds. Snow fell steadily, in waves and occasional whirling eddies as slight differences in wind and intensity built up layer after layer, the gusts whipping huge flakes into even bigger drifts. There is nothing pleasant about such snow. It falls thick enough to obscure vision to a handsbreath, and turns each flake into a stinging projectile that punishes any exposed flesh. Only life adapted to such a climate would venture into such a storm. Outside the base, generators strained under the brute force of nature, and something else stirred as well.

It is said that some creatures can sense food or prey from great distances. Whether it was from hunger or the instinct to find shelter from the storm, no one was there to see what it was that clawed and pressed against the exterior, weakening the outside support before giving up. Otherworldly moans mixed with the shrieking wind as something large slowly moved away and disappeared blending into the white world around it.


	6. Chapter 6

Some people consider Coruscant the bright center of the universe, located near the core and along several major trade routes, it had once been that, but now the Imperial planet could no longer be called a beacon of anything pure and good. Like a spider, darkness spread it’s barely visible webs into every nook and cranny, only the façade remained, a veneer of beauty layered over ugliness. The bright lights of the city twinkled everywhere but did nothing to illuminate the three figures who stood in the dark before the Emperor awaiting his orders.  
“Here are your instructions” Palpatine said handing each a data card and credit chip. “You are to locate and eliminate the target on the data card. Speak of this to no one. Do you understand? You report only to me. Leave no trace of yourself at the kill or the origins of the death mark. Remember tell no one, not even Lord Vader.”  
Three figures bowed and left as silently as they came.

~~

Vader stared at the holo after playing it back one more time, then shut it off abruptly. The stars over Thferra had long since disappeared and the Dark Lord looked out the window lost in thought. His appearance was ominously quiet save for the sounds of his breather, but inside a roiling anger seethed, tinged with fear and urgency. Now freed from the petty squabbles and internal negotiations of bacta brokers, he had ordered his destroyer to return to their prior coordinates so he could resume his pursuit of the rebellion and one rebel in particular. It would take time but hopefully he would have enough.

His spies had served him well in obtaining the vid. but now he was left to wonder if he would be able to beat the Emperors assassins to their goal, or with luck eliminate them beforehand. It seemed improbable to him that the Emperor should be concerned about a mere boy, yet all evidence pointed to just that. He controlled the Empire and had the vastness of the darkside at his disposal, yet Vader could only conclude one thing.

_His Master was afraid. Afraid of his son._

The boy had eliminated the Death Star that was true, and Vader understood the motive of revenge the Emperor surely had, but Luke did not do so alone. His fledgling skills would not have been enough without the help of the rebellion. Obi Wan was gone and could no longer train the boy. What had the Emperor seen in the future? Did he sense Vader’s desire to complete his sons training? Did he already see Vader’s ambition? Or was the boy’s potential much greater than he imagined. Another brief flush of possessive pride washed over him at that thought, but he quickly shoved it away, making sure to erect a shield around his feelings and to lock it away from his master.

 

Luke spent the next few hours on mission planning, safety checks, personnel schedules, intel data and scheduled maintenance which was good in one way, as he would be totally caught up with his list of priorities, but that did nothing to quiet the feeling of pressure in his chest that was barely there, yet seemed to grow incrementally the longer he was on planet.

As he walked down the corridor past a view port,  he paused to look out. Snow covered half of the window, but the part that was clear showed that if anything, the storm had gotten stronger. One of the unusual things he’d read about the planet was that due to the nature of its spin angle, the sun and other land air interactions, these storms were common and came in waves with short periods of a few weeks to less than a week of clearing before another might form and hit again. It was a seasonal thing if you could call cold, colder and damn fraggin cold seasons, and this was the season. Being a desert born person, he could never seem to feel fully warm in any part of his body here.

He really should start wearing the alliance issued neckwear, but he found it got in the way when he was doing certain tasks.  He made his way back from the hanger after making a few more recommended adjustments to his ship. As he walked towards his chamber, people moved in both directions through the tunnels and he sometimes had to squish against the walls to let some bulky transport cart pass by. The installed over head lighting was flickering off and on with more frequency than it was earlier in the day. _Not a good sign._

Sheltered as he was inside, he could still hear the ferocity of the wind, exposing just how strong it was by the pitch of the sounds. He could almost feel it barreling into the base.

A group of men came into view a few yards ahead of him coming in the opposite direction, and as they moved closer a loud roar like an engine filled his ears and parts of the tunnel collapsed, dumping support struts and a large volume of snow wall on top of them, burying two. He heard shouts, curses, screaming and people running just as the lights flickered once and then went out,  plunging everything in darkness. Stunned into immobility for a moment, it took him a few seconds to start reaching for his lightsaber for light and possibly to help clear debris, but the automatic back up power supply kicked in before he could do anything and the emergency lighting bathed everything in the tunnel in a deep blood red. Mixed with one or two blinking yellow lights it all looked disorienting, and he had to let his eyes adjust to the different stimuli. He moved forward towards the snow pile, but could only see a dark outstretched gloved hand emerging from beneath, black and…

 

The world tilted and spun in front of him as vertigo took over and he was suddenly back on the farm. His Aunt and Uncle, unrecognizable, nothing but horribly charred bones and he could smell the burnt flesh and the blast residue and taste the hot, salty tears that filled his eyes, one escaping down his cheek before he swallowed it all back as shock and anger filled him. He could see one body’s outstretched skeletal hand in a last reach for help that he was not there to give them, and taste the horrible urge to vomit in his throat. He felt a soundless, anguished scream in his head and then nothing.

Something crashing on a floor invaded Luke’s hearing and jolted his eyes open, which he immediately regretted. Harsh white light burned his vision and he immediately shut them as a it triggered a sharp pain response in his head. His mind was muddy and unclear and his body felt heavy and powerless. He tried opening them again, attempting to raise his hand up to shield his eyes, but when he moved his arm something attached to it would not let him lift it the whole way up. He had more success with his other arm and gingerly lifted his lids half way. He had no idea where he was. It didn’t take too long to figure it out though. He was in the Med bay with a drip line running into his arm.

 

“Welcome back commander,” a soft voice said to him and he turned to see Dr Didukh walk over and stand next to the bed he was laying on. She immediately started checking all his vitals while making notes on each one.

“How do you feel?” He eyed her under half closed lids, frowning at the look of concern on her face.

“Like I was run over by a Ronto and it’s still sitting on my head. What happened?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Only that there was a collapse in the tunnels and then the lights went out,” his forehead scrunched. “I’m not sure what else.”

She held up a little light to both his eyes looking at each one. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Luke looked at her hand. “ One.”

Are you having any trouble hearing?

“No.”

She grabbed his hand. “Squeeze my hand and tell me if you feel any weakness.”

He complied, noticing the contrast of her warm hand with the realization that his was cold, but his grip seemed normal to him even if he did feel tired.

“Any Nausea?”

“ No, well maybe.”

She wrote something down and looked at him. “Well commander according to the scan we did you have a slight concussion, so you’ll have to stay here for observation for at least a day till we can be sure you are fully ambulatory. Do you remember getting hit in the head with a support strut?”

He searched his mind but that part seemed blank. “Is that why I’m here,  did I get whacked?”

“Yes, the rescue team found you lying near the collapse under a support beam, but my main concern is that you were in and out of consciousness mumbling some names until we got you to the med bay. Who are Beru, Owen and Ben? Was there someone else there with you?”

“No. nobody but me.” The mention of his guardian’s names suddenly brought back his memory of the flashback to their murder,  and with it his stomach lurched.  
Doctor D must have noticed the look on his face because her hand was right there holding out a small pan for him to retch in. He hated when this happened and especially the weak feeling you got after heaving.

“All done now,” she said handing him a cup with a straw to sip on and a cloth to wipe himself with.

He had sat up to do this but now he let her guide him back down on to the bed. She added something to his drip line and said. “That should help with the nausea.”

 

“We’ll do some neuro regeneration later, you need to rest up first. You know, when I told you to stop by if you needed anything, I didn’t mean for you to do it immediately or this way.” Lada raised a slightly ironic eyebrow at him,  and Luke’s face flushed momentarily as he returned a sheepish look to her.

“ Now back to my question. Those names you were moaning, who were they, someone from the base?”

Luke’s voice turned quieter but steady. ‘My family and my mentor. They were murdered by the Empire before Yavin.”

“I see. I’m sorry, but then I suppose that’s why we are all here isn’t it, to stop this madness.” She wrote something else down on his chart.

Luke’s face turned grim and pained and only nodded assent to her statement.

“Rest for now and I’ll have something light to eat brought to you later.”

The doctor turned to leave and Luke grabbed her arm. “The other men, did they make it out okay?

“No, I’m afraid not. I’m sorry. Did you know them? ”

Luke gave a negative nod and shut his eyes, wondering if he would ever get used to seeing people die, he tried to keep that part compartmentalized and pushed away the feelings but it was not easy.

“Thank you,” he said as she nodded and left him alone.

It was evening, they had done the neural regen and he’d been able to eat something light earlier in the day without feeling too off , and some of the Rogues had stopped by individually to check on him, he was cheered a bit when Wedge brought R2D2 by. Luke had been sure R2 would be relieved to see him awake, but he had also been prepared to hear all his scolding and lecturing whistles, which were amusingly comforting and annoying at the same time. Wedge as usual gave him a hard time about getting out of work, but that belied his genuine concern that Luke could tell was behind his light banter. His friend only stayed briefly and had left him alone with his droid.

He was glad for the chance to get R2 to search a few recently found records for more info on Jedi healing techniques, and also any info he could dig up on dreams vs visions. That accomplished, his body was telling him he’d had enough for one day. His thoughts returned to the increasing sense of uneasiness he’d been feeling lately, a foreboding that seemed to be mixed with old memories, new fears, anxiety and strange images, and he wasn’t sure how to tell if it was the force or if it was something else, what was a warning, and what was just normal worry, but he was alone and there was nothing he could do tonight except try to rest and heal. At times like this the silence weighed down on him, making him feel anchorless, letting his regret, loneliness and longing for a home that was gone get to him. He needed to stop thinking. The doctor came back and made another check on him, then left dimming the lights for the evening and he settled in to sleep.

 

Lord Vader breathed in and relished these short periods where he could be without his mask inside his octagonal meditation chamber. He was beyond using the force for healing, but still it was a brief feeling of freedom and in the privacy of his own thoughts he allowed himself to enjoy it. He let his mind drift into meditation and willed the force take him where it would. His desire to find his son coloring everything in his thoughts and actions now, including, to his displeasure, making it harder to achieve the center he needed to mediate, but eventually he fell into the stream where both dark and light existed in the all.

Possible futures and pasts flowed in front of him in a confusing blur and he saw himself as he once was, laughing with Padme as she smiled at him and held a child with blonde hair a blue eyes and then suddenly everything faded and they crumbled into dust at Mustafar. He saw his unburnt self locked in a dark maze and unable to find his way out. He saw his son standing proudly in front of him wearing black like himself and plunging his saber though Vaders heart. He saw Luke by his side at the Emperor’s throne, He saw his son die on a frozen world alone and he saw Luke older and holding his own newly born child. And he saw an assassin kill his son and the Emperor laughing and laughing and he heard his own voice moan No.

Vader’s eyes flew open and his breathing was too rapid, causing a momentary reaction from the automated responses of the chamber correcting his difficulty. He sighed. He obtained no clear path from that save for one His son’s fate was not yet sealed and that gave him a small measure of comfort oddly. His anger with the Emperor lately only seemed to be fueled by these sessions, which tainted the dark side bond he had with his master, yet gave him strength too.  
He had felt a sort of relief that he now knew he had not killed her and their child, not letting himself acknowledge her horror at his choices and how his path had indeed destroyed them all. He rose as his mask returned and entrapped him again. He left his suite almost bumping into Admiral Ozzel on his way to the bridge, but Vader had no patience for talking to the man right now, and he ignored the man’s excuses and walked away in the other direction. There were still orders from the Emperor to complete though conveniently they lay in the same path Vader wished to go.

 

A few hours later, Vader pondered the report in his hand. Target Locations: . Kolthis, Borleias, Abregado-Rae, Bothawui, Sullust. Agents spotted searching for contacts and information and one dead, another had been sent on a dead end trail that would take a while to untangle but would keep the assassin far away from preferred sector, or at least that was what he hoped , assuming that Luke was somewhere in the direction he had felt through the force. His thoughts darkened when he read that they had not been able to locate the third agent as of yet. This was a risk he was taking but he couldn’t afford to wait around in his present location as his sense told him he needed to accelerate his own efforts, and he could not be so obvious lest the Emperor learn of his actions. He sent his new orders to Piett and paced the bridge looking out at the stars.

 

In the dark room of the medical chamber on Hoth, Luke Skywalker moaned and trembled in his bed. Again the dream came, and each time it did Luke felt closer to death. He could see himself standing looking out at the snow on that first night and it frightened him beyond any logical reason. He was cold, cold like he’d never been in his life, as if the air was pulling everything from him. The biting stinging pain in his limbs giving way to numbness that crept up his arms and legs. He couldn’t stand and fell … into the trapsand again, sinking and sinking till it covered his mouth, his nose, his eyes and he couldn’t breathe, but reflex made him try, gagging on the feel of it in his mouth which only cut off more air. Total complete terror was the last thing he felt before he slipped away and the world went black only to change to blinding white so bright it was painful, or was it that the cuts on his face hurt that badly.

Someone was carrying his body, shouting his name, shoving him into something, forcing air into his mouth, someone was crying, he coughed, and gagged and vomited sand, and he saw his Uncle’s tear stained face, and his Aunts burnt body on the ground and he cried out , screaming. His eyes flew open.

Alarms and monitoring equipment were going off in his room alerting staff to his vitals. Luke’s body was in full panic attack reaction and Lada ran into the room as he tried to flee from his bed, forcibly holding him down with the help of an assistant. He was gasping for air, and his hands trembled. His eyes were open but unaware. The monitor sounded loudly, showing his heart rate was over 100 beats per minute. The assistant covered Luke’s face with an air breather mask which only made him feel claustrophobic after the dream, reaching up his hands instinctively tried to pull it off as if it was suffocating him. He locked eyes with Dr Didukh who injected a sedative and he felt himself lose control of his muscles and fell back on to the bed drifting off into unconsciousness.

He didn’t see her watching him and thinking, nor was he awake to see her open a locked drawer and pull out two very old books and begin reading as she sat in the chair near his bed.

Throughout the night the winds still howled and the snow continued to fall, but as the evening progressed the blizzard slowly started to diminish. The gusts and swirling vortexes gave way to slower winds and smaller flakes as the storm began to pass by. By sunrise the clouds gave way to a softer diffuse light as the sun tried to breach through the overcast veil in the sky. Eventually blue sky returned to the landscape. After the dark sky of the storm, it was a shocking contrast to the snow, which looked like a white shroud had been placed over everything, removing all but the soft blue shadows of drifts cast by the rise of the sun.

 

~~

 

“What is thy bidding my Master?” Vader knelt before the hologram of the Emperor his control firmly in place, his shields tight.

“ How goes your pursuit of the rebels Lord Vader?”

“We’ve located some small outposts but none have been big enough to be anything but low level.” If the Emperor thought he would see him flinch he was mistaken. He could play the game as well as the Emperor for Vader had not spent all these years observing his master for nothing.

“Good, good that means you are free to speak to our weapons designer for the project. We must speed up supply production and accelerate installation of weapons to replace that which was lost.”

“Yes, my master.”

“You will contact our engineer Bevel Lemelisk and Qwi Xux to check on their progress at the Maw installation and send me a report. I am sure you will give them the proper motivation to move faster. You can handle this and the rebels unless you have something more pressing to attend to.”

“ It will be handled as you request, Master.”

“Very well Lord Vader.”

With that the hologram winked out, and Vader rose from his bent knee then stood as still as stone for several minutes before leaving the room with a swish of his cape trailing behind in the black marble chamber. He briefly wondered if they had finished creating his new sparing droid.


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up in a med bay could be harsh from Luke’s experience, so he opened his eyes up slowly. He stretched and yawned, then after taking care of nature, he realized he was feeling much better and getting impatient to be out of there. He waited for someone to come by and check on him, but for some reason the doctor didn’t and he wondered when they would be releasing him. He had seen her go by his space many times this morning, but always on the way to check on other patients and she almost seemed to be ignoring him. He had a blurry image of seeing her last night, but he couldn’t recall why. He no longer had anything attached to him, so he was free to sit up and stretch. A small packet with his clothes lay next to him, so obviously they intended to release him at some point, but as time went on his patience was wearing thinner.

“Nothing worse than sitting and waiting with nothing to do,” he mumbled to himself.

Well perhaps he could get dressed even though he’d not been given the full okay. He padded over to the refresher with the packet, dressed, then returned. His lightsaber and belt he found in the small locker near his bed and after putting that on he went to sit down on the cot.  
A few minutes of looking at the same things made him realize he might as well try to meditate. He pulled his legs up and crossed them, shutting his eyes and reciting the words Ben had told him, and slowly relaxed his breathing and his body. He inhaled through his nose, counted to four and slowly exhaled for another four count, repeating until he could feel he was part of the force not merely outside it looking in. It still felt new to him but he tried to push all thoughts away and let it refresh his spirit. His mind drifted aimlessly into a relaxed state but after a while, he found he was beginning to recall what had happened as he slept last night. He had had one of those dreams again, but this time he was only seeing it as if he observed without being inside the experience. Yet as he got to the part where his memory of almost dying in the sandtrap approached, his body recoiled, he lost his grip on the calm of the force and he abruptly fell back into reality.

Luke jumped when his eyes opened to find Lada standing directly in front of his face, her hazel eyes looking intently at him.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to leave commander.” Her eyes traced over his clothes. “Do you always jump to conclusions?”

_How had he not sensed her come in?_

“Oh. Um, I just figured since they were here next to me and I feel better that I might as well get dressed and” He stumbled and trailed off. He was still unnerved that she continued to look at him as if she was studying a bug or something.

She crossed her arms and sighed. “You’re cleared physically, but I think there are a few things we need to talk about before you leave.”

“Oh, okay,” he didn’t like that she was radiating concern and apprehension.

She pulled a chair closer to his bed and pulled out a flimsy and two very old books from a nearby drawer but did not do anything with them except lay them across her lap.  
“I’ve been an alliance doctor for a while now and before that, I watched my father take care of his patients, so I would like you to believe me when I say that I think you may be having some non-physical issues that need to be addressed. “

Luke felt a knot suddenly form in his stomach.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of or to deny. I’ve seen this sort of thing many times with soldiers.”

“What do you mean?”

“When we suffer some traumatic incidents or have seen something terrible, especially during war where you are exposed to death, sometimes our minds try to suppress these feelings in order to cope, but if you’ve never dealt with the initial trauma it can sometimes come back as flashbacks. I think this may have happened to you. I would like you to tell me about what happened to your parents since your mind seemed to be on them when you were injured, and also what were you dreaming about last night? You were quite agitated and we had to sedate you. I’ve seen similar physical reactions from soldiers before, so it might be helpful if you told me everything you’ve been dreaming or experiencing recently and perhaps we can come up with ways to deal with it better.”

Part of Luke felt relieved that perhaps here was someone he could discuss recent events with, but the other part of him wanted to go straight to denial and get out of there as quickly as possible. He ran his hands through his hair then placed them back on his lap. He couldn’t bring himself to meet her eyes, instead he looked down at his fingers which he realized had tightened into his palms, his fingernails digging into the flesh in reaction to her words playing through his head. What, he wondered would happen to him if he told her? Would they ground him or worse?

“And what happens to me if I have this what do you call it?”

“After Shock Stress, or ASS for short.”

Luke rolled his eyes at the acronym and Lada snorted. “I know, but we have to find humor where we can. As for what happens, well that all depends on you and if you feel your performance is being interfered with, how deep the trauma and how well you take to the simple exercises to reframe your thoughts, your Jedi meditation may be helpful in controlling any anxiety, and some simple exposure therapy if there is something physical that was a trigger for you.”

“But what if…”

“If you are worried about not being able to fly, I don’t think that will be happening for anyone until all the snow is cleared away from the blizzard.”

Luke thought that it wasn’t flying that was bothering him, it was the ground, but perhaps if he told her he could sort some of this stuff out faster.

“Alright. If you think it’s necessary, but do you need to do this now or can I go back to my chamber and return to duty? “

“As long as we set a time later today to talk. Since your neuro regen went well you don’t have any restrictions physically. My shift won’t be done for several hours, so how about we meet for dinner and we can talk some more.”

Luke wanted to ask her about the two old books in her lap but she seemed to have forgotten she was even holding them. He slid off the bed and stood when he saw her standing up.

She placed the books and flimsy on the bed and held out her hand.

“Okay Commander, I’ll see you later then.”

Luke took it and she squeezed his hand before he walked out, leaving him relieved to be out of her intense gaze and knowing look. If he didn’t know better, it almost felt like a force probe but how could he really know? He’d never felt like this before and she was a trained professional probably good at reading people.

After he left, Lada picked up the books and began going through them, tagging certain pages for quick reference, pausing to run her hand across the dark nerf hide leather, before placing them back in the drawer.

```

It was just after lunch time and the worst time of day to be walking through the large hanger where they had finished up some recent technical issues with the large blast door. Luke had to dodge and weave between mechanics, techs, utility lines and droids to get to where his x-wing had been moved. The air was heavy with the smell of fuel and ozone. The animal enclosures in the far corner did nothing to dispel the smell of Tauntaun druk that wafted in Luke’s direction either. It took him a few moments to orient himself and find his ship which was wedged into a cramped area while the mechanics had been working on other more problematic ships.

To the other side, was an area enclosed with metal and mesh to run through Tauntaun training inside the hanger. Though relatively small, it was enough to get the basics of handling the beasts. Luke wasn’t too worried as he’d been on a Ronto and a Bantha at various points growing up back home and had some idea of how to handle himself. _How tough could it be anyway?_

 

He had originally expected R2 to be back at his chamber, but instead found him at the X-Wing talking to its computers running another diagnostic. Han had once jokingly called the droid Luke’s familiar, because he was training to be a Jedi and all people with powers had familiars in Corellian folk tales. It amused Luke that Han sure seemed to have come around to accepting the force as a real thing even if he didn’t trust it, though he doubted R2 would appreciate the nickname.

“Hey R2, find anything?”

He was greeted with a loud series of squeeks and whistles and Luke could swear he was being yelled at.

“I’m fine R2.” Luke said tapping his head. “All better.”

More whistles followed as he read R2’s readout.

“I’ll be more careful next time. Stop worrying.”

More squeeks.

“No. I’m not sure what day 3PO is coming with Han and Leia but it should be very soon. Did you have any luck finding that info I asked you to look for?”

Mournful sounds came out of his speaker.

“No luck huh? Well I guess it was too much to hope for considering where we are. Thanks for trying. I’ll just have to figure things out on my own.”

 

R2 vocalized again at him with questioning sounds and Luke mused at how easy it always was for him to figure out what his droid was asking even before he read the read out.

“Sorry little guy but I can’t stay. It’s my turn to learn all about these Tauntauns.”

Whistle, pop, squeek.

“Of course I’ll be careful and you need to stop fussing.”

Luke would have sworn that his droid gave him a very annoyed hiss and he shook his head. He turned away and meandered over towards the pens where they held the beasts.  
An instructor was there already going over the basics with another rebel so Luke walked over to the pen to get a closer look at the creature. It turned to look at him when he approached and eyed him cautiously, so Luke tried to project calm as he brushed his hand down over the side of its furry face. It was soft and thick with varied shades of white and light tans.

He examined the anatomy noticing the wide feet which would be good for running as the toes seemed designed for good grip, he was confused by the two sets of nostrils but figured it must be some local adaptation to the cold. They had already had this one saddled and ready for him so all he had to do was wait his turn.

The lieutenant in charge came over to him when he was finished with the other man and gestured for Luke to come closer.  
“Hello Commander. This one isn’t too skittish so you shouldn’t have any problems. Just get your foot into this grip and swing up into the seat. He’s about 20 hands tall at the wither. The seat has a stabilization layer against your back so you don’t fall out and the straps are self explanatory. A nudge with the heels of your feet and a flick of the straps will signal the Tauntan to move forward and pull back to slow down or stop.”

Luke dutifully climbed up and settled into the seat until he felt balanced and comfortable. It was odd sitting on an animal that did not have four feet on the ground like a Bantha or Ronto, and he felt a little awkward. It was really the smell that made things a little harder. He scrunched up his nose and signaled for the lieutenant to open up the pen into the run they had set up inside because of the weather. He took a few experimental passes at a slow pace to get the feel for how the creature walked. He could feel the stretch in his calves and the sway of his seat as the tauntan walked. As he increased the speed with another nudge and a tightening of his legs against the sides, he started to bounce with the looping strides the creature made. After a while Luke began to relax and started to feel that familiar sensation of flying above the ground and found that a smile was spreading across his face. It felt good and natural like the animals at home, where you and the animal become a team and move as one. But the best part to him was the feeling of being in control of something, even if lately things in his life were flying apart or confusing, this was not. The tauntan seemed to relax under his hands as if enjoying the chance to run a bit and he was almost sorry to see his time slot end.

He looked at his chrono and decided he had enough time to grab a cup of caf and head back to his room to do some paperwork before he would have to meet Lada for dinner. It would give him time to figure out what exactly he should tell her. As he was leaving he heard the sound of the shield door opening and felt the rush of cold air enter. He didn’t pause to look, but continued walking out towards the corridor, until he was away, until he was safely surrounded by walls.

 

Vader’s communication with the secret weapons research center was a difficult thing as it involved several relay stations, but he’d passed on the Emperor’s urging for speed with his latest project even though it managed to delay him yet again. This of course was the point. His master was usually steps ahead of anyone he wished to play with, but Vader was determined to win this battle. His own spies had not located the Emperor’s third assassin and this was beginning to press on the uneasiness in his mind. He let these thoughts go as he listened carefully to General Veers reports on the latest rebel activities with a careful attention to any detail that might help him narrow his searches quickly. As he paced in the command viewport area, he felt his disquiet turn to irritation at any slip by his bridge crew, and found himself berating the men simply to vent his frustration. When he’d finally left them feeling the proper sort of respect and fear he left for his quarters.

His door swished open into darkness and he called “light” and the room appeared. Next to the door on a small stand, he found the file he had requested awaiting him. Vader walked over to his desk inserting the data after giving it his personal secure code. The file began showing a series of still photo captures and short vids. He had located the back up security holo’s from the destroyed Death Star. As luck would have it, his assignment to speak with the weapons developers also afforded him the opportunity to obtain certain back up files. The main records were copied and sent there on a regular schedule and were instrumental in helping rebuild the Emperor’s new tech terror. Vader’s interest however were in the security holos from the day Solo’s ship was tractored in. Vader didn’t believe in luck, but he did believe in the force and it must have been with him that these were captured and sent out before the station was destroyed.

He found several blurry images from the detention block and one clear one. One from a security corner and others from the docking bay. His breathing seemed to still and return momentarily as he stared at the holo and vids of his son.

_Luke._

He couldn’t take his eyes off of his face and found he was examining every little detail: the shape of his chin, the color of his hair, his eyes, the cheekbones, his smaller yet agile and strong body, the way he ran. He kept comparing things in his memory, was that like him, was that like her? It filled him with a need, a hunger and pain he didn’t know what to do with, and anger, always anger and rage at those who betrayed him. But he would finally have his son and make him his. No one would take this from him ever again.

~~

Luke pushed another report to the side and looked at his chrono. It was almost dinner time and he was nervous. He had no idea what questions Lada would ask him, or what he would say. He stood and grabbed his saber out of habit, hooked it to his belt and left his chamber pausing only a moment to shake off the shiver that went down his spine after sitting too long in the cold room. He took one last look at the white walls and left to get something to eat.

When he arrived and didn’t see the Doctor yet, he felt relieved. He wanted time to prepare though how, he wasn’t exactly sure. Luke grabbed the days main offering, and decided that a warm drink would go well with the dinner and poured himself a tea the color of soft grass, found a table and set about eating. He had only started his food when Wedge came in with Zek. They headed in his direction and Luke was wondering how he would get rid of them if they sat down. He didn’t want his private issues being public knowledge with the squad.

The two men cheerfully stopped in front of him and Luke nodded in acknowledgment. Zek didn’t stay but Wedge sat down.

“How are you feeling boss?”

“Much better. Nothing but the best medics for us, right?” They sat together chatting for a bit while Wedge ate.

“You sure? You don’t look like you feel good?”

“I don’t?” Luke realized his face was betraying him and tried on a smile.

“Oh it’s nothing, I’m just tired from staring at reports and itching to get out of this place and do something. I’m starting to feel claustrophobic.” Luke eyes darted towards the door checking for Lada but still nothing.

“Ah well I feel the same way. It’s hard not to feel restless when we get grounded, but now that the storm is gone, things will probably start moving too fast. “

“I know what you mean. There never is a middle ground is there, just hurry up and wait and hurry up. By the way Antilles, you going to eat that pickled ohirok or not? Because if you don’t I will.”

Luke grabbed for the green veggie and Wedge let him. He bit down and savored the tangy salty taste with a smile.

“Sure go ahead not that you waited!”

“Would you deny your boss Wedge?”

“Do you want the truth or a soothing lie?”

Luke just laughed and they continued with light banter until Wedge stood up having finished his food.

“Well this was nice but I’ve got a hot date with a shower. See ya later Luke.”

“Make sure to check it first!” Luke yelled at Wedges retreating form.

 

He looked at his mostly full plate and returned to attacking it while he waited, sipping slowly at his drink to wash it down. The tea felt good as it slipped down his throat and he swirled the cup and absently watched the steam float up in front of him only to be startled once again by Dr Didukh. For the second time he had not noticed her come right up to him. _How does she do that?_

“Evening commander! So sorry I’m late. Had a last minute emergency to take care of.”

She laid her tray of food on the table and sat down with him and he gave her a brief smile.

“ How did your day go?”

  
“Oh not bad. Caught up on some paperwork and did my training run.”

“Feeling okay?” She looked him straight in the eye in an assessing way and Luke felt himself shrink under her gaze just a tiny bit.

“Yeah, no issues at all thanks to you. The head feels good. “

She didn’t reply as she had a mouthful of some tasty looking sandwich and Luke thought regretfully that maybe he should have gotten that.

“Any anxiety?” she said to him as if she was asking something mundane like did he like the weather.

“No.” he said quickly feeling a bit apprehensive now.

“Good. Good. Look I understand this feels strange but all I’m asking you to do is trust me and just say whatever you feel or remember when I ask you a question.”

Luke couldn’t help but feel like he was unexpectedly exposed, as if her admittedly pretty eyes were taking in every little gesture, detail or look in an effort to read him.

She placed a hand over his perhaps sensing this and somehow it felt surprisingly warm and comforting letting him relax.

“Let’s start with what was on your mind before you lost consciousness. Tell me how your parents died.”

 

For a brief moment the images flashed through his mind and he looked away from her but only for minute to gather his thoughts.

“Not my parents my Aunt and Uncle. They raised me. I never met my real mother, and my father died when I was born.”

“oh I see. Go on.”

Luke looked down and paused. He tried not to think about it often.

“My Uncle was a farmer on Tattoine, a moisture farmer. The day before we had purchased some droids from the local Jawas, but as it turned out the Astromech was holding the plans to the death star inside him, but I didn’t know that at the time. The little droid got me to let his restraining bolt off and disappeared on me, so the next morning I left to try to locate him. We were poor and…and I couldn’t let my uncle lose that money, that purchase since he needed the extra help.”

Luke paused, his inner guilt and grief pushing up from where he had buried it.

“Continue” She touched his hand briefly again.

“I left them and while I was gone the Empire found the farm, destroyed it and murdered them, I don’t even know if they asked them any questions. I wasn’t there. I wasn’t there.” He trailed off, his voice reduced to a soft whisper.

“And you obviously found the droid or we would not be here now. Keep going. What happened when you found them?”

Luke looked around the room which had mostly emptied out except for a few stragglers, but he didn’t want to go on. Not here.

“Could we finish this someplace else?”

Lada gave him a smile and said, “Sure. Where would you feel more comfortable? My office such as it is or your room?”

He thought about it for a moment. “My room. Nobody will walk in there.”

She wolfed down the rest of her dinner faster than he thought possible.

“Okay lets go.” Relieved, Luke stood with her and they walked in silence to his chamber. The door opened and he started to head for his desk but Lada beat him to it so he sat on his bunk.

“Better?”

“Yes, thanks.” He shifted on his bunk and for some reason being back in his room wasn’t helping like he thought, instead he felt anxiety start to creep into his gut.

“So back to your story, don’t stop.”

“Ben and I found the transport that sold us the droids. It was a mess, damaged from several blast marks and dead Jawa’s everywhere and I knew my family was in danger and I fled back to the farm.”

“Who was Ben?”

“Ben Kenobi, the former Jedi Knight that Princess Leia was trying to ask for help to get the plans to the alliance. I found R2 and Ben, well that’s another story but he gave me my father’s lightsaber and told me about the Jedi and asked me to help him.”

“Go on.”

“The Farm was on fire. They had blasted my home and my guardians were dead. I ended up back with Ben and I left with him and that’s how I eventually ended up with the Alliance at Yavin.”

“Luke you left out something important there. That was the story you tell everyone. I want to know what you were feeling, what you saw.”

 _Burnt flesh, Black bones, a wretched sickening smell._ It all replayed in his head and he felt the oppressive despair of failure and horror.

“I… I.”

“Don’t stop even if it’s hard.”

Luke’s voice trembled. He didn’t want to feel.

“I drove up to the farm and I saw them through the smoke. Burning just outside the steps to the surface, like they were trying to get away. They burnt them alive, it was horrible, sickening, they were laying there with their flesh melted against the bones. They were good people, they loved me, took care of me and I wasn’t there, I could have helped, maybe gotten them away."

His throat was tight and he felt raw.

“Maybe or maybe you would have been killed with them.”

“That’s what Ben said.”

“Did you have a flash back to this when you were in the hallway?”

“Yes.”

“What do you think triggered it?”

“I saw a black glove sticking out of the snow pile, like my uncles hand. That must have been it. I haven’t been sleeping well and maybe my brain was tired.”

“I’m sure you were quite upset to see your family hurt like that. It can be quite traumatic and painful and it’s understandable that you might relive the memory of it.”

Luke’s face became blank and he stared at her. “No.” He yelled roughly. “ You don’t understand. I didn’t feel anything, nothing. I was numb. They were my family and I wouldn’t cry. I was too late to help them and I didn’t even morn, I was just angry. All I ever wanted was to get away from the farm and I got my wish didn’t I?”

“You were in shock. Sometimes it’s the brains way of protecting you from being overwhelmed.”

He got up from the cot and paced the room. “Look I know you mean well but I don’t want to talk anymore tonight.”

Lada looked at him and nodded quietly. “Okay Luke, but we aren’t done. We can talk again tomorrow. Just remember this. If you hold your feelings inside and don’t let yourself feel them, they have a way of coming out eventually. I have a feeling there is something else bothering you as well.” She smiled at him and left.

He watched her leave and threw himself back on the cot, his mind restless and unsure. He lay there for a while before begrudgingly getting up and changing into his sleep clothes, and heading to bed. He flicked the light off with the force and tried to think of nothing as he drifted off to sleep. He didn’t dream.

 

_Icy blue and white stars flickered down across the barren snowy plains outside Echo base. The moonless night making them seem brighter against the inky blackness of the night sky. Far away, a small group of tauntauns startled and raised their heads instinctively, as a high pitched sound pierced the eerie silence of the Hoth night, followed by a primitive scream that echoed across the landscape. Up in the sky a ship approached, cutting through the star patterns and dipping lower oblivious to the sudden death below._


	8. Chapter 8

Leia, princess, rebel leader, and tragically a rallying symbol for the rebellion stalked down the ramp of the Falcon, her mind oblivious to the man who was speaking to her from behind.

“Hello! Hoth to Leia, Hoth to Leia do you read me?”

Leia turned back to him in exasperation. It had been an annoying trip. Between 3PO’s advice and Han’s way of pushing her buttons, she was ready to get out of there as fast as possible and besides she had so much work to do here. She threw her hands up.

“What?”

“Look your worshipfulness I was just trying to ask you if you wanted me to bring your things .”

He stood there holding her traveling case and back pack with a little smirk on his face.

She stared at him for a moment and put on her best in charge glare before softening at the look on his face.

“Yes, come on but stop calling me that.”

It was still dark on the planet so there was only a minimal crew where the falcon was parked. Chewie insisted that he was going to stay with the ship, but C3PO followed in Han Solo’s wake and Leia could hear the droid peppering Han with questions as they all walked towards the Lieutenant assigned to meet them.

 

“Welcome Princess Leia and Captain Solo. If you’ll follow me I’ll show you to your quarters. The General is asleep but he asked me to inform you that he will meet you at 0800.”

“Thank you Lieutenant. Carry on.”

They followed the man down the hallway until they arrived at Leia’s chamber and Han carried her bags in and sat on her cot smiling at her, to Leia’s annoyance. He patted the spot next to him trying to get her to sit and she crossed her arms, glaring at him.

“This room is pretty cold Leia. Would you like me to warm it up for you?” He had the gall to wink at her.

3PO chose that moment to remind them both he was there by launching into all the ways he could adjust the temperature in the room for her comfort and Leia was done.

“OUT! Both of you,” she said pointing to the doorway.

Han stood up and sighed but managed to corner her between the locker and the doorway, stealing the tiniest brush of a kiss goodnight before he walked away pushing the droid out too.

“Sleep tight Princess.” And the door swished shut behind him.

Leia threw her backpack at the shut door and turned around to unpack. Part of her wished it wasn’t still sleep time here, she could have found Luke and talked to a nice normal person instead of that insufferable, egotistical man.

She scanned the room for a moment and unlocked the locker tossing her belongings inside. She then went to the desk and found a data pad with her classified code awaiting her and took it out to read. Leia was not tired in the least, with her body still on another time clock and after some time reading, she moved to the bunk, her back hurting from the uncomfortable chair.

She had learned long ago that reading at night could be relaxing, but not with these reports. So many things weighed on her mind, and so much responsibility but she could only do one thing at a time. _I really should leave the rest till tomorrow,_ she thought and placed the pad back on the desk and returned to bed reciting a meditation she had learned long ago before falling asleep.

_I go to the Force for Refuge._   
_Let no disturbing thoughts upset me, nor evil dreams nor troubling fantasies._   
_May my bed be a comfort and safe in the light._   
_Shield me, shelter me in all things._

An alarm was going off and the light in his room turned on. He could hear it next to his cot on the small table, but Luke didn’t open his eyes. He wanted to savor the feeling of comfort the warm blanket was offering him and he knew what time it was, he didn’t need to look. He’d set it himself for the day’s duties. 0600 hours. He’d slept the whole night and it felt good and he was loath to get up, yet his sense of duty eventually pushed him forward. The contrast between the darkness and the white walls when he opened his eyes to was too bright for him to adjust and he squeezed them shut for a moment to prepare. He sat up and squinted open one eye and let his blanket fall sending chilly air against his body.

“Force this place is cold.”

Luke stood and managed to turn the wake up alarm off and ran his hand through his hair. He rubbed the grit out of his eyes and slowly moved to get himself ready for a quick shower before he had to start his day. He would just have enough time to grab breakfast after his shower before he had to go to a command meeting.

“Time to embrace the suck Skywalker.”

When he walked into the main control room later, Luke almost dropped the caf he was carrying when he saw Leia and Han sitting there along with Rieekan, Major Derlin, Torin Farr and Palo Torshan.  
He had no idea they had arrived, but his mood brightened just seeing his friends. He hurriedly exchanged hugs and greetings with Leia and Han and sat down. Each person gave their input and updates on placement of the perimeter outposts, the finished defensive trenches, should they move the location of the Ion cannon, how many DF-9 turrets and 1-4 FD P-tower laser cannons were needed, the anomalous life readings, the latest moves of the Imperial fleet, how many sensors to place and where, how best to prepare the transports for quick evacuation in case of attack, mission planning, how ready Luke’s pilots were, and so forth, the inevitable fact sheets, summaries, troop analysis, logistics and equipment inventory. It seemed to go on forever until it didn’t.

“So Captain Solo, did you happen to handle that spice deal you had mentioned last time? Did it go well?”

It was the general talking to Han, and Luke was taken aback at the implied question to his friend. _Had they really gotten Solo to obtain illegal weapons for the Rebellion?_  
_Well, well this was interesting._  
Luke supposed illegal was a relative term. as the Empire had made only certain things illegal for certain people on certain worlds or in certain rebellions.  
He watched Han’s reply.

“I think you’ll find a few items of interest in your storage room. I think Chewie’s taken care of that.”  
“Good, good glad to hear it.”

Leia seemed to be as surprised as Luke was, giving Han a look that Luke would describe as amazement, or was it more. He wasn’t sure. In any case, the meeting had gone on for hours and was winding down finally which was a good thing because he felt hungry and wanted to get up and stretch. He had hoped he could steal a half hour to do some lightsaber practice with a remote after the meeting, but he realized he needed food first.  
Leia and Rieekan thanked everyone for coming and everyone started to scatter. Han was staring at Leia until she looked up at him and he addressed her.

“So Leia you want to get something to eat?”

Luke watched her wave him off as she went back to going over yet another report and Luke shook his head. Something was going on between the two of them, but it seemed to be only one way, which kind of made him happy though he wasn’t sure why he felt as protective of her as he did. Han glowered and joined Luke.

“Okay kid it looks like it’s just you and me, “ Han said as Luke felt a friendly slap on his shoulder.

“Good to see you here Han. And I see you came bearing gifts.”

“Gifts? Ha! What do you take me for? I got paid though not as much as I could use.”

“Right,” Luke smirked knowing Han was doing his best to maintain his persona but Luke knew better.

“Hey it wasn’t easy. Just hanging around with you guys got me a death mark on Corellia, Coruscant, Eriadu, Thyferra, and a few other places, places where a guy like me gets underground things.”

“Well I’m sure the Rebellion appreciates it.”

“Yeah, just wished they appreciated it a bit more.”

Luke chuckled and found he was really enjoying his friends banter. It lightened his heart a little.  
They walked along but made a detour to where the Falcon was birthed in the larger hanger.

“Just want to talk to Chewie for a bit and then we can go. I’ll be right back Luke.”

The large shield door was half way up and an icy breeze tossed Luke’s hair into his eyes. Han had already disappeared up the Falcon’s ramp and Luke was left to stand there staring outside. People walked back and forth within and just outside the huge door and Luke walked forward toward the opening.  
He was almost there when he felt his legs slow down and bring his body to a halt as he stared outside at the compacted snow of the entrance and the rounded mounds in the distance. He swallowed feeling, but not really seeing. His mind swirled with mixed emotions warring within him, remembering his visions and the dream induced fear, his past and his desire to conquer it.  
Han called to him and he turned around to see him looking at Luke oddly.

He walked back and Han said, “Where were you Luke? I called you a few times. Didn’t you hear me?”

“Sorry. I was thinking about something. Let’s go.”

They entered the dining mess and grabbed something to eat finding a table against the wall.

“So Kid how ya doin? “

“Mostly just standing by to stand by. How are you?” Luke deflected.

“Same as always. Looks like I’m stuck here for a bit.”

“I’m sure Leia will be happy to hear that. We need everyone we can get.”

“Well that’s debatable but she’s got me for now.” Luke cocked an eyebrow but said nothing.

The rest of the meal they spent in mindless talk about new speeders, new weapons, the latest smashball scores and Han’s acquisitions. Luke was enjoying himself until Lada appeared at their table. He had seen her from across the room and he was hoping she wouldn’t notice him, but somehow he knew that she would.  
He forced himself to relax as much as possible when she addressed him, not wanting to give Han any reason to ask questions.

“Commander, glad I caught you here.”

“Hi Doc. Han this is our resident medical expert Dr. Didukh. Doc this is Han Solo.”

“I think we’ve met before but I can’t place it right now, or maybe I’m just remembering your face from holos. Nice to meet you,” she extended her hand and they both shook. She turned to look at Luke.

“I was just stopping by to remind you of our appointment today. I’ll be free around 1500, if that’s good for you.”

“Yeah sure, I’ll see you then.” He really couldn’t call her out on the fact that they hadn’t set an actual time with Han sitting there.

“Good.” She walked off leaving Luke to answer the questioning look on Han’s face.

“Okay Jr. Spill it.”

“It’s nothing Han. Just a quick follow up. I had a little accident the other day and she wants to do a final check.” It wasn’t fully a lie he told himself.

“See what happens when I’m not around to keep an eye on you. What happened?”

“Nothing Han just a little head bump.” Han’s eyes rolled and Luke shook his head and laughed.

Luke checked his chrono and stood. "I’ll catch up with you later Han. I want to get in a saber work out before my appointment."

“All right Kid. Take care.”

...

There is no up or down in space until something appears in front of you and you judge it relative to your own position. The vast expanse of Vader’s ship became such a beacon for the returning fighters who adjusted their trajectories for landing.  
The last 5 planets had been an exercise in wasted time. Perhaps not all of it, as a small disruptive outpost was eliminated after a short ship to ship battle between his fighters and theirs, but to the Dark Lord of the Sith, the failure to find his son so far was a gnawing, frustrating thing. He needed a release, and he advanced towards his sparring room at a quick pace. The hallways as ever were in movement with droids or soldiers going one direction or another. He paid no attention to the mouse droid that he almost crushed with his foot when it zipped in front of him accidentally, he just continued stalking till he got behind the doors of the room.

“Lights,” he called and the room brightened at his command.

He keyed in a pre-programmed routine to the terminal and placed his hand on his saber in anticipation. The new battle droid awaited him in silence. It was nearly identical to the one he’d dispatched before, save for the shine to the black metal that the previous one lacked. He paused to recite his pre-sparing mantra.

_The dark side is emotion, Bane. Anger, hate, love, lust. Failure is death._

Vader knew he had emotion in spades, it had been awakened from a long burial and was pulsing through his soul like an electric current needing release. He ignited his red blade and the droid came to life at the signal, its practice saber lit in response.  
It advanced quickly at Vader to clash sabers multiple times in fizzing electronics, not wasting a second. Vader kept up the cross pressure stalling any further movement for the moment, before twirling the tip around and under lifting the droids saber up at an awkward angle.  
The droid made a quick surprise adjustment by turning his blade off and then back on, after moving his position to a better attack angle. The contained plasma blades clashed again, over and over, the sound echoing loudly in the chamber.  
Vader stepped back for a moment and lunged forward to meet another hack and slash, as his body fell into a rhythm he was used to. His aggressive move forced the dark droid to use defensive tactics pushing him back further and further, it’s yellow eyes staring mindlessly at his opponent.  
Remotes disengaged from the wall slots as a distraction, causing the Dark Lord to deflect the bolts giving the droid time to reposition. The exercise had moved to the next phase quickly, bringing Vaders pulse higher allowing him to let loose his aggression. Time had no meaning for him here, only the fight as it continued on.

Up on the deck of the star destroyer a signal on the board of the communications officer’s station lit up. He punched the panels keys to receive the data, then routed the encoded transmission to Lord Vader’s office.

…

Luke made his way down the corridor to the room carved and designated for physical training and exercise, carrying the training remote he kept with him since his time on the Falcon. Most of the men should be busy elsewhere by now, and Luke was glad to see that he had the room to himself. He realized that he needed some practice handling his saber while wearing bulky clothes, as it might change his angle of swing and any defensive moves.  
Luke walked over and placed the remote on the table near the center of the opposite wall, then stepped back to calm his mind and relax into a state of readiness. When he felt ready he pushed the start button with the force on the remote, and it kicked into life rising off the table and floating towards him waiting.  
Luke’s blue blade came to life as did the remote’s sensor, twisting the discharge holes into position adjusting back and forth. The first bolt flew past his head when he ducked, missing both Luke’s blade and his body, as he’d lost his chance to deflect it.  
It spun and he did his best to anticipate the next one, catching the bolt on his blade, deflecting it this time. He didn’t have a blast shield, but he tried to recall the sensations in his mind, when he could feel that a bolt was coming, back on the falcon under Ben's instructions. He reached out to the force and the warmth of its energy filled him, allowing his defensive moves to block the shots, yet somehow it still felt like he was just getting them, but not quite as well as he should.  
He adjusted the timing of his swings to try to account for the restrictions on his arms from the clothing and this time it felt better. He began using more footwork as he parried the blasts to keep his whole body involved, letting his mind drift with the physical sensations of exercise, the powerful feeling of the force, and his sense of the remote as the universe opened up for him once again.  
…  
Vader dodged and struck, rolled and deflected , lunged and parried in a dizzying display, as his program ratcheted up the attacks against him. The battle droid never tired, but he was beginning to as a bolt caught him off guard at last. He delved deeper into the force in response, and the droid in front of him suddenly blurred as his vision clouded and returned. Yet it looked different. Yes, it was still black but the shine had dulled as if it was black cloth, and the head wavered as if he was seeing it under water. He dodged a strike and deflected a bolt, but his opponent was morphing before him in a force vision. The color was fading to a dull military tan/grey and the eyes cleared to silver. Their sabers clashed and the pulse of contact energy sounded like an overload about to explode. The Droid somersaulted over him and attacked again. He could feel wind and his vision tunneled as if this was a real person, but floating on the edge of reality just out of reach of his touch. He threw a form at the droid and pushed it against the wall with the force wanting a moment to think.  
…

Luke’s practice with the remote continued as he circled around waiting to sense its next move. He felt odd, as if it was alive and trying to maneuver him around the room with purpose, sending it’s stinging bolts to move him towards the door. It backed him further and further till he was almost touching the white wall as he deflected two more shots. He could hear the residual sound of wind outside though the nearby air vent screeching and it sent a small chill through his mind, and his untrained danger sense flared and faded as quickly as it came. He spun around coming up behind the practice remote, but it stalked him as if it knew his next move, spinning around to attack him again. He deflected several more shots, having once more been maneuvered back towards the wall, the discharge holes of the remote looking strangely like eyes that demanded his attention. He shivered and shook his head before shutting it down when his timer beeped, noticing that he was breathing heavily, he rubbed at his wrist which felt strangely sore. Luke felt oddly perplexed and troubled, but with nothing tangible to account for this feeling he had to let it go. He checked the data readout of his results, and was pleased with himself wondering for a moment what it might have been like had his father been teaching him how to do this. _I’m trying father,_ he whispered.  
…  
_…Father._ Vader froze. Had he just heard something? He stopped the program and tried to feel the gossamer thin thread of contact but it was gone and he wasn’t even sure if it happened. All was still in the room save for the sound of his respirator as he stood in silence for a long time. He sighed eventually, knowing if the Force wanted him to know something he would know in due time. He killed the lights and left the chamber to head to his suite.  
Later, he sat at his desk staring at the data that he had just read. He had a very bad feeling about this. His personal information network had sent this dispatch to him and it left him in a state of near panic before he had gotten his mind to resume thinking. He had to think long and hard and carefully. The third assassin was on his way, or perhaps had already been at his sons location for some time. It infuriated him that this was even possible.  
According to the report, a group of Imperial defectors had been picked up some time ago by the Alliance and where they had gone after that was unknown, but the third assassin was among them and there was nothing Vader could do about it. Or was there? _Would he be able to stop Palpatine’s agent in time? Was it too late?_ No somehow he would know if that happened. Luke still lived he told himself. He had to carefully plan his message and get it out as soon as possible. Treason was a dangerous thing.

 

Luke had had just enough time to clean up before his appointment with Lada. He did not know what she had planned, but his stomach twisted as he got closer to her office. He replayed their last “talk” and he knew that he had cut it off before she had wanted.  
He’d not been cooperative and he knew it. _Coward._

She smiled up at him when he arrived and a brief moment of warmth and peace washed over him.

“Hello Commander. Come on in. I’ll be with you in a moment.”

Luke walked over to one of her chairs and sat, his restless fingers slowly tapping against the side of his leg. Her back was to him as she filled out paperwork and while he waited, he tried to relax.  
She turned her chair around to face him.

“How are you today?”

“Good.” He fidgeted feeling awkward and not knowing what else to say.

“Okay Luke. I’d like to pick up where we left off last time. Remember I’m here to help you with this. Tell me about Ben since that was the other name you called out”

She seemed to radiate trust and he tried to remember what he had planned to say, but his rehearsed lines didn’t end up coming out of his mouth.  
Once he started talking the words suddenly kept coming, and he told her about Ben and how he lived on Tattoine as a sort of loner in the desert, and how he couldn’t help but feel close to him, as he was the only person that had ever really told him more detail about his father. He recounted his encounters at the Cantina, and the escape on the Falcon, and his quick introduction to the Force and everything leading up to the moment Vader struck him down. He spoke of losing his best friend Biggs and even mentioned feeling Ben’s presence when he blew up the Death Star.

“I lost him. He sacrificed himself for me. He barely knew me, yet he tried to protect me, a nothing backwater farm kid.” His head fell down as he looked at his hands.

“And how did you react to that?”

He paused trying to let his swirling thoughts settle.

“I screamed, but I had to run into the ship so we could get Leia’s plans out of there, I hardly had time to even take it in before we had to fight off tie fighters and head to the base.”

“I’m sorry you lost your mentor. You have had a lot of pain to deal with.”

“Biggs too,” he whispered. “They all died for me, my aunt and uncle, Ben, Biggs, trying to keep me alive. Why? I’m not worth it. I don’t deserve it. I couldn’t help them.” His traitorous eyes tried to fill, threatening to spill but he firmly pulled it in, banishing it from his emotions.

“Would you have not done the same for them?”

_Of course he would._

He looked at her wanting to say that out loud, but he just sat in silence. How could he explain how he was feeling, when he didn’t know for sure himself, when it was easier to not feel pain and how do you explain being ashamed for that? He even hated that Leia had felt the need to comfort him when she was the one that suffered even more than he had. She’d been tortured and had to watch her whole planet be destroyed. How could he weep in the face of her strength? Better to bury it. He would not be weak. He had to be strong.

“If you are blaming yourself for what happened to them, you are laboring under a false assumption. It’s called survivors guilt and it’s more common than you might think. Everyone makes their own choices and everyone is subject to life’s events that intrude on us. The Empire has a lot to answer for. They all cared for you in some manner and you mattered to them, you were worth it to them. Is that why you haven’t been sleeping well?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been having dreams that don’t make sense and I can’t seem to shake them, the feeling, the fear.”

“Would you like something to drink?”

Luke was not expecting that, but nodded his head. She poured him some water and continued.

“Tell me, and do not hold back.”

He knew he had to if wanted to make it stop and he told her everything, the memory, the vision, the panic attacks, his fear of the snow, the sense of dread and impending doom like the look of the sky and the smell of the air before a storm.  
Lada watched him carefully with her penetrating eyes as he spoke, and only her occasional note taking interrupted her attention. When he finished, she sat quietly for longer than he hoped thinking over everything he had said. He had no idea what the consequences would be of his confession.

“I think your force sensitivity is part of the problem. Your mind is trying to piece together things that aren’t connected but seem to be, and all those things you keep repressing are fighting with what they call a danger sense among the Jedi. I have a few ideas.”

Luke dearly hoped she did and that he could purge this anxiety from his system, so he nodded slightly for her to continue, yet a part of him wondered why she seemed to know more than expected about the Jedi. He would have to find a way to ask.

“I’d like to try some exposure therapy with you since the trigger for all of this seems to be the snow and how it reminds you of other things.”

Luke wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that but he was willing to do whatever it took.

“Okay. What do I have to do?”

She looked at her chrono. “The sun is down now, so I’d like to go back to the door you opened the first night and I’ll show you from there. It is tied to a frightening memory from your childhood and we should deal with that first.”

They left not long after to head to Luke’s chamber for his insulated jacket. Lada had grabbed hers and snaked her arms into it as they walked down the corridor to Luke’s room.  
Several paces behind them, a figure standing next to a supply cart watched silently as they left the Doctors office.

...

Clinks, bangs, rattles and curses emanated from the bowels of the falcons plate decks. Chewbacca reluctantly accepted 3PO’s help with his maintenance adjustments wishing Han was here instead, but he was off somewhere with Leia. The droid could be helpful, but he could also be insufferably irritating when he went off on a tangent of unnecessary information.  
He couldn’t quite locate where the gurgle they had been hearing was coming from and of course 3PO had many _suggestions._  
Some were ridiculous, some esoteric and others just plain nuts, but they kept coming out of his golden mouth to Chewie’s consternation, until he mentioned something about excessive sediment build up in the hot water tank. Now that one made some sense. It probably got clogged on their little off the books alliance shopping trip. The gurgle was probably steam bubbles coming up through the muck. Chewie growled to C3PO to shut off the water. They would have to let it cool a bit before flushing out the dirt and refilling.  
The droid ambled off to the main control panel in the forward deck area and as he shut off the water, he noticed the flashing light of the com message board. He tried to retrieve it for Chewie but it would not accept him for access.

“Oh dear, oh dear. Maybe Chewbacca will be able to open it,” and his leg gears whined as he made his way back to the wookiee.

“Rrrrrrr-ghghghghgh! Wawoohrgh” Chewie was frustrated and called out to goldenrod when he saw him approaching.

“Master Chewbacca, I’ve got…”

“Rrrrrrr-ghghghghgh!” _Get over here and help me with this!_

“But you have a…”

“Sputamureaghrh. Maaaaaarh!!!!!” _Shut up and hold this clamp right now. Hurry._

“I’m coming.”


	9. Chapter 9

A lone figure slowly shadowed Lada and Luke, discretely observing their movements but taking no action. After leaving the commanders chamber, the two rebels continued together down the corridor as the silent figure paused, then disappeared in the opposite direction.  
Luke stood in front of the door next to the Doc and waited for her to speak. He’d felt his pulse start to rise while they walked and a weight seemed to be pressing down on his consciousness, as if something, some feeling was just out of reach and he was finding it harder to shove aside the uneasiness corrupting his mind.  
Her voice cut through to him and he jumped slightly at the sound.

“Open the door please.”

He wondered why she was making him do it since she could just have easily done it herself.  
Luke keyed in his security number and it slid open. As always, it was accompanied by a rush of wind inside.

Lada looked at him and said, “You stand there,” pointing to the top of the landing, “I will be right back. You okay?”

  
He nodded, not willing to say he felt nauseous, and raised a gloved hand to shield his eyes from the snow blowing down off of the roof. He watched as Lada walked down the steps, then squatted down as she reached the snow level, gathering up some into her gloves and compacting it into a large ball. In the other hand she held snow that she hadn’t squeezed. While she walked back up, Luke looked up , the black endless void spread across his vision, the night air was clear, the sky full of stars, with only one or two wispy clouds. He felt a rush of icy air as a wind gust came, the sound almost like a mournful wail whispering something to him. His gut twisted as she approached.  
She held out both her hands to show him the snow. He felt like a fool, like a child afraid of the dark , it was irrational yet there none the less.

  
“Hold out your one hand,” she directed and he complied.

  
She dropped the loose, soft snow into his palm and it spilled around his fingers falling through the gaps here and there. It was fragile and light like the finest sand, like the sand that had flowed down the side of the gulley in his dream.

  
“This is your fear. It tumbles out without direction Your brain has a natural alarm system, but sometimes when you have gone through something traumatic, that alarm becomes over active and can create a fear response over something that’s safe, because the path to the braking system in your head that would tell you, _hey this is nothing_ isn’t responding properly, it’s letting the adrenaline continue, it is responding to a trigger as if it was the real trauma. Sometimes it will access the wrong memory at the wrong time and that’s what I think has happened to you partially.”

  
He listened and understood what she was saying but he didn’t see how that was going to make it stop.

  
“Now hold out your other hand.” He did and she placed the ball of snow in it. “Squeeze it.”  He did. It was almost hard yet with enough give that as he squeezed it got even more compacted.

  
“This is what’s real. It is solid, it has strength, it will support you. It is not the trap of your memory, but the trap you have made for yourself is another matter. Now crush the ball harder.”  
He did as she told him and the snow resisted at first,  but broke apart under his hard grip, into chunks that fell to the ground.

  
“That is all the things you refuse to let out, your grief, what you blame yourself for, the feelings you keep holding back. You have to feel them, face them, release them. If you keep them balled up tight, it will only get worse.”

  
“But I don’t know how?” He wasn’t supposed to feel weak, or afraid, you had endure, anything else was a fault according to his uncle.  
Lada looked at him sympathetically, and touched his shoulder.

  
“I am going to walk with you down the steps one at a time. As we move down I want you to talk about your guardians death. Not the sterile version, tell me how you felt about them, what they meant to you, let out your grief, no one will hear you. Yell, scream, cry, whatever you need to do, but let it out.”

  
She grabbed his hand and pulled him to step down the first step and then the next. There they stopped and she said, “Tell me.”

  
He looked at her, his heart beat in his chest wanting to do what she asked, yet he was afraid of what would happen if he let his control go, afraid he would drown in it. His desire to be rid of it suddenly greater than the need to hold it in, he nodded icy blue eyes to her that he would try.

“My uncle was not a very outgoing emotional man. He was tough and strong and had rules, yet I did know that he cared about me, not that he said it out loud often. My aunt Beru was the one that loved me with open arms, she protected me as much as possible. I didn’t appreciate them enough.”

  
“ You said your Uncle did not show too much emotion so you mimic his detached demeanor to cope to your own detriment.”

  
“He rescued me, my uncle. I think that was the one and only time I ever saw him cry. He pulled me out of that trapsand and breathed life back into me. He saved me and I couldn’t save him. I was mad at him when I left that morning for holding me back. I resented having to stay, even though a part of me knew he did need me. That’s what he got from me. My last words were bitter and…” Luke’s throat tightened and he felt the grief try to rise up.

  
“ Luke, feel it, keep going.” His vision was blurring. She moved them down a few more steps her hand holding his, taking him closer to the white expanse. The fear was there like a living thing making him feel, making him tremble.  
“You blame yourself for your words but you must let it out and let it go, let it blow away into the snow.”

  
“ I…I, my sweet Aunt, did she suffer? Their bodies, I only had time to cover them and pull them back against the opening. I could hear engines in the distance and I was afraid they were coming back, I was scared and numb and angry and I didn’t even have time to bury them. **I didn’t even bury them!!** I wanted to get away from the farm and that life, but not like that. _Not like that._ Oh gods I left them, I left them there on the ground and didn’t look back. He saved me and I left them!”  
“Ohhhhhh.” He slumped down sitting on the snowy step and put his head in his hands, his elbows propped against his knees and finally, for the first time, he wept for the only parents he’d ever known, his shoulders heaving in muffled sobs. Lada sat next to him and placed her arm around his shoulder, pulling him to her and offered him as much comfort as she could as he poured out his guilt and grief into the night in her arms.

 

Han Solo walked up the ramp to the Falcon to the sound of Chewie’s tools and 3PO in one of the droids usual soliloquies on how Chewie should be doing his job, or more accurately attempting to give instructions while being ignored.  
He made his way to the open deck plate shaking his head. The droid looked up when he came into view but Han took no notice.

  
“Hey Chewie, did you figure out what was making that noise?”

  
Chewie began responding but was interrupted by 3PO who proceeded to talk about everything they had been doing, explaining how he had figured it out.

  
“RRWWWGG!” _Stop talking!_

  
“So anything else I should know since you seem to be just about finished.”

  
“MHH” _Nope._

  
“Okay I’m going to grab a beer and sit down for a change, I’m done for the day. I’m getting sick of everyone here trying to make me care, join up, be Luke. If the kid was smart he’d… oh what am I saying he wouldn’t, but damn it he should, you know the odds of staying alive around here aren’t good.”

  
He got up and walked towards the cooler area grabbing his drink and noticed the com light flashing and he punched in his access to listen. As he listened his face turned from confused to questioning to a frown then to a scowl.

  
“Get up here both of you!” he screamed back towards his companions.

  
They both entered to Solo glaring.

  
“Why didn’t you tell me there was a message?”

  
Both Chewie and Han’s heads turned to C3PO.

  
“Well I never. I tried to say something but.”

  
“Never mind. Chewie has anyone heard from Luke? Do you know where he is?”

  
“MHH” _Nope._

  
“Do we have his private comm frequency Chewie? Oh wait, never mind I know where it is.” He sent out the signal and waited, and waited while it continued to ring with no response.  
Chewie was asking him what was going on but Han only partially heard him.

  
“Kriff, he’s not answering.”

 

 

Sith lords are not known for their patience and the patience of one sith lord in particular was as paper thin as the shadow of a hair. He could not let the Emperor win in this. He did not like waiting, but when the thing you are waiting on could change the future, then each second, each minute, each hour with no response, no news, caused him to slowly move from irritated, to rankled, to anxious, to angry and inflamed, to the one feeling he tried to suppress in the dark maze of his mind, till he felt as if the dark side was charged and sparking off of his essence with his need to know.

  
Logic told him he had no way of knowing if the intended recipient even got the encrypted data, as it had gone through a short chain of people of dubious but useful backgrounds that owed him something. At least he took some comfort that in the past they had proven mostly reliable, especially since they would like to continue breathing. Li Suun Niik he could trust not to slice into the message.

  
He knew they were coming up on another planet to probe soon and he turned from his observation deck to monitor the process while he waited for the recipient to respond with the pre-set response code he provided to tell him if his son lived or not. Strange how death had come to mean so little to him until now, yet he knew he might be forced to deliver it with his own hand if it came down to that. His conflicted thoughts were interrupted by a disagreement with two bridge crewmen over a petty detail and Vader’s last shred of control snapped and in moments they both lay dead on the floor. Looks of terror and swift furtive glances from the rest of the bridge crew quickly turned to total silence.\

  
Vader walked over to the two dead crewmen. “Opinions duly noted and rejected. Remove them,” he said as he walked slowly away.

 

The stars road higher into the sky as time slowly moved forward. Long shadows of two figures stretched out into the snow, illuminated by the light behind them. The white slowly fading into a pure cold blue till it met the black of night in the distance. Luke’s ragged, and strained voice echoed in the quiet as he released his demons into the night air, tears washing clean the pain and agony of his soul for his family, all those he lost and the innocents he killed in war. Yet some fear still remained, for the future and his part in it and for all he still had to learn alone about the force.

  
She stood and held out her hand to help him stand up to finish what they started. With each step Lada moved him closer and closer to the snow covered ground as his emotions gradually bled off, and when he was done they were on the bottom.  
Luke stared at the snow in front of him, one more step to conquer. She moved to face him.

  
“You are doing very well. You can do this”

  
“What if I can’t?”

  
“You can. And nothing worth doing is easy.”

  
He felt her pull him in for a comforting and encouraging hug and he stiffened at first but relaxed into it needing that human contact after what had just happened. It was short and she pulled away and walked out into the snow a few feet ahead, stopping to beckon to him.

  
“Now walk out towards me.”

  
He looked out towards her then back down at his feet. He shut his eyes, all his muscles tensed as the old memory quickly played back in his mind, and he kept them shut as he took his first steps out onto the snow till he paused and opened them, quickly scanning the area.  
He was halfway to her location and a brief spike of panic washed through him. Lada waved him forward encouraging him to make those last steps and as he did he could feel his feet begin to sink, fear spiking briefly until he could feel the hard support beneath him, and the soft crunch as he walked to meet her.

  
She smiled and he smiled, relief flooding into him like a dam bursting and he looked down at the ground where he stood, then up into the night sky feeling suddenly lighter, the way he did flying up into the stars, and as he did, a bright flash burst through the cold air and streaked across the horizon, followed by another trail and another.

 

Inside Luke’s empty chamber room his comlink sat on his desk and buzzed while Han’s voice could be heard calling to him though the speaker.

  
“Luke, Luke, do you read me? Come in. Damn it kid where are you.”

  
Han turned to Chewie and said, “Still no answer.”

  
“grrrwaaaaaar”

  
“No, I haven’t tried Leia. Why would he be there?”

  
“Mphhhhh”. Chewie just shrugged and Han gave him a glare.

  
“Fine I’ll call her.”

  
His attempts to reach her failed the first two times but worked on the third and No, she didn’t know where Luke was. Just as she started to question what he wanted Luke for, he hurriedly made an excuse and signed off.  
He saw Chewie looking at him and said. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t want her to worry. I don’t even know if this is legit or not, we don’t know the source, and I’m not sure the alliance would believe it, but if it is true and we wait on them to decide, the kid could be in worse danger. I’m going to have a look around the base and see what I can find out, you coming?”

  
The wookiee nodded and followed Han as he hurried off to search.  
They made their way to the dining area where they found the Rogues playing sabbacc, and sharing some drinks, all of them in fact, except for Luke.  
Han walked over to Wedge and waited while he finished his play.

  
“Hey guys, any of you reprobates seen Luke?”

  
“Not since we saw him heading to the workout area to do some saber practice. Why, trouble?” Wedge frowned.

  
“It’s Luke, isn’t there always trouble?”

  
“Only when we start it,” one of the other guys joked.

  
“Didn’t he have a check up with the Doc? Hobbie put in.

  
Han’s head shot up. “Yes, that’s right he did. Nobody saw him since?”

  
They all shook their heads in the negative and Janson interjected with a suggestive leer.

  
“Maybe he doesn’t want to be found. He could be charging up her loading ramp right now.”

  
A collective oooh emanated from the table and Wedge shook his head. “I don’t think so, she’s older than him and I don’t think she’s his type.”

  
Janson said, “Why not? Not bad looking, more experience and the boss has been tense lately, or maybe you’re thinking she’s your type Wedge.”

  
“All right, damp down your power core Wes. Did anyone see something out of whack or someone not right hanging around him?”

  
“Only Janson but he doesn’t count.”

  
“Shut up Klivian,” Wes said.

  
“ Well, if you see him tell him to get a hold of me ASAP.”

  
“What’s going on?” Wedge said.

  
“I’ve got a contact that says Luke could be a target, the lethal kind, and from somebody on the base.”

  
Several of them half rose and then sat back down.

  
“Details Solo. Nobody messes with a Rogue.” Wedge’s jaw clenched.

  
“That’s all I got.”

  
Chewie interrupted them all with a growl to Han to get moving, and keep looking.

  
“Right, Okay guys you’ve just been voluntold for this, see what you can dig up. Thanks.”

  
“We’ll do what we can from our end. You two go ahead,” Wedge yelled to their retreating forms, a worried look on his face.


	10. Chapter 10

The sound of a chrono chiming momentarily distracted the non-de script person wearing a grey ground crew uniform. After a few looks to see if anyone was watching, the crewman ducked into a supply chamber, checking the tracker, which was set to send out alerts if the subjects began moving. It still showed them outside, so perhaps this was the moment if there was enough time to get into position.

Vader made his way to the communications console to check the information coming in from the most recent probes, not because he didn’t trust the techs, but because he couldn’t wait. He needed to do something while he waited for his other data to come back, he needed something to distract from the pounding headache he now had, to ignore the nagging pressure deep inside as if someone was pressing and pushing against his inner barriers, not from the outside but from within.

Luke’s eyes followed the path of the fading lines of light until they disappeared.

“Meteors.”

He had seen many a meteor growing up back home, where the dark of the nighttime landscape made for brilliant night sky’s. After the sun set, he often lingered above his homestead well past time to come inside, to look up at the stars, wishing he could be out there among them. This felt like a sign to him perhaps, like forgiveness, acknowledgment, exaltation.

“We get them often here. They mess with the sensors but I find them beautiful none the less.” Lada looked over at him gazing at the sky, like many a pilot before him. “Do you feel ready to go back inside?”

Luke took one last look up and then turned his head towards her. He reached for her hand and grabbed it, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Thank you,” he whispered.

She nodded and kept her hand in his perhaps to reassure and tugged him back towards the base. He reflexively hesitated to step forward looking down at his feet, but laughed a bit and pushed himself to move. He soon found that they were back at the base of the steps but before they could move up them, he bent down and picked up a handful of snow, making his own ball and stared at it in his palm before crushing it like he’d done with the other, letting out a deep breath as he did. The warm air from his lungs condensing into a cloud that floated away with the wind. “Ok, I’m ready now.”

A sudden chill up his spine caught him off guard and he said. “Let’s get out of the cold,” and they started climbing the steps.

Han and Chewie made it to the medical wing to be met by a 2-1B droid. To Han’s undying frustration, it thought they were patients until the wookie growled something that sounded suspiciously like curses. He started asking it where the doc was but the droid pointed to itself in a confused manner.

“I’m going to say this again slowly so you understand. Where is the lady doctor? What’s her name.”

“You mean Dr Didukh. She left with Commander Skywalker quite some time ago when her shift was done.“

“Do you know where they were going?”

“Outside.”

“What!??? Blast!” Han spun around and yelled to Chewie. “Hurry, I hope we aren’t too late.” They ran out into the corridor in the direction the droid pointed. There was only one exit in this direction and they only passed a few people along the way, bland general faces and no way to tell if the person after Luke was one of them or the doctor.

“Chewie, I thought the exit was in this corridor?”

“Mmmrwwaghgh!”

“What do you mean we took a wrong turn? Sithspit!”

 

Luke and Lada started up the stairs, and he started to notice the muscles in his legs dragging at him, slowing him down with a tightness he normally associated with exercise. It was strange, as if everything had reversed and he was now trying to avoid going back inside. That made zero sense, so he kept moving ignoring the vague feeling in the back of his mind that something was off. _What did he expect?_ Perhaps it was just residual anxiety, and not everything could be solved in one night. Still, he stopped. Lada looked at him quizzically, stopping her forward momentum when she noticed he’d paused.

“What is it Luke?”

“I don’t know, I feel like…” A distant cry and another off in the distance startled both of them.

“What was that?” she strained to listen but the wind had picked up and there was nothing more to hear.

“Monsters,” he said quietly.

“Huh?”

“Nothing. We better get inside.”

They both walked up to the exit and opened the door. The lights in the exit corridor did not illuminate much, just as the agent planned. The only lights that hadn’t been disabled were a few near the outside door, and one or two in the hall staggered a distance from each other. The corner where the agent hid was dark as was half of the hallway. Just enough light to make it appear like it was time for some replacements. The angle had been perfect from this spot now all that was needed was for someone to open the door.

Vader entered the observation deck and looked out into the stars. To Vader the vast distances and unimaginable numbers it took to move from place to place was normally a thing to be taken for granted as the Empire’s tech had no equal, yet it was all failing and not even the force was enough. These feelings and thoughts were alien, recondite, yet he knew he could not unlearn certain things, nor could he change what was or what is but perhaps what might be. Perhaps.

Luke walked out into the corridor and Lada followed quickly, inadvertently blocking the shooters angle but not for long. That moment’s hesitation by the agent gave Luke’s untrained danger sense just enough time to flare. His mind suddenly filled with one feeling. _Survive._

“Get behind me!” Luke yelled and pushed Lada while his hands instinctively grabbed for his lightsaber, igniting it just barely in time to have a blaster bolt skim off the edge of his blue blade sending the bolt into the snow wall.

“Kriff!” Particles of snow burst from the blast hole and sprayed all over both of them. She screamed and ducked. His eyes quickly tracked the area looking for the shooter as another shot aimed low towards his legs grazed his thigh with a surface singe. It was difficult for him to split his concentration to both protect Lada and deflect the incoming. Han’s words back on the falcon flitted through his head. _"Look, good against remotes is one thing. Good against the living? That's something else."_ He really wished he’d had more time to practice now. She had moved further away but he couldn’t risk turning his head back to see what she was doing as two more shots in quick succession headed towards him, his sabers blue light connecting to the red bolts dead on this time. There was a brief pause in the exchange and he had a second to register the burning sensation in his leg before the shooter started blasting more rounds his direction which he repeatedly caught on his blade, some deflecting into the ceiling above them, knocking out the lights and sending more snow down. Meanwhile Lada had pulled an empty supply cart towards them that was in the hallway and tipped it on its side for protection.

“Luke! Here!” Luke was about to duck behind the cart when he heard the sound of something bouncing off the floor panels and only had time to register that it was a highly illegal miniature version of a thermal detonator headed right towards them, the light of his blue blade giving him just enough illumination. He tried to curl his body into a less vulnerable target. The next thing he knew he was flying backwards as a bright flash of light and an explosion thundered around him, his saber thrown from his hand. He landed behind Lada’s position, dazed as the air whoofed out of his lungs with the force of his landing and was only vaguely aware of her calling up his lightsaber. In the dark he thought he saw her somehow deflect a shot back towards the corner, just as the sound of voices headed in their direction, and suddenly the shooting stopped. A chunk of one snow wall fell from the blast, partially blocking the corridor between them and the shooter. Lada stood over him holding the saber up for light, but the next thing he knew Han’s voice was there as was Wedges. It was hard to make out what they were saying because his ears were ringing.

“Don’t move an inch sister.” Han was pointing a blaster at the back of Lada’s head.

“Put the saber down Doc.” Wedge commanded.

“Han.” Luke tried to say but he was still having to suck in air so it didn’t come out quite right. Lada turned off the saber and placed it in Wedges hand, raising hers in a gesture of surrender.

“Han, Wedge.”

“You okay kid? Shavit what did she do to you?”

Frustrated, Luke watched as Han motioned for Wedge to keep his blaster on the Doc while he bent down to talk to him. With a horse voice Luke managed to say, “ Han will you shut up and listen. The Doc wasn’t trying to hurt me. She was helping me. You need to go find whoever it was shooting at us. He must have run off when you showed up.”

Han exchanged a glance with Wedge who lowered his blaster and handed the lightsaber back to Luke.

“Can I check on Commander Skywalker now please?” Lada’s voice sounded anxious and irritated to Luke’s ears and who could blame her.

“Yeah, sure. Sorry about that, ” Han replied apologetically.

Luke tried to sit up, but it was only then he noticed bits of shrapnel in his leg and hip, making for an unpleasant painful effort as it dug into his skin harder with the movement.

“Ouch.”

Lada started checking his wounds as Chewie and the other Rogues that arrived took off after the assailant.

“Okay Solo, I’ll need you to help me get him to the med chamber. Help me stand him up.”

Han got a hold of Luke's hand and Lada wrapped her arm around him from the other side and helped him to stand.

“I’m okay I can stand, just need to wince and groan a bit while I do it.”

The pain was annoying but at least he could breathe again. Lada’s face was right near his and he couldn’t help but stare at her thinking about what he had seen her do. _Was she a Jedi in hiding?_ She must have some force ability otherwise how could she have pulled his saber into her hand and deflected that shot the way she did, in fact it was with some restraint that he kept himself from peppering the her with questions.

“Okay Junior, you owe me for this.”

“Sorry Han, you’ll have to share with Lada.”

“All right boys, let’s get moving shall we?”

Lada’s hand was holding his arm firmly but she seemed to refuse to look at him and he wondered if she could sense his curiosity. _Later. He would ask her later._

Leia sat at her desk in her assigned chamber attempting to read more reports, but her thoughts were not on the words in front of her. She was continually distracted as her mind wandered now and then back to the moment that Solo had brushed his lips to hers. She hadn’t responded, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel the jolt of electricity at the feel of it. Part of her wanted to just give in and enjoy the feeling of comfort of having someone, but the other more practical side wouldn’t let her. He was here now yes, but for how long? Why should she let herself go and then be hurt when he left. She’d lost so much already. And then there was Luke. They had so much in common now despite their totally opposite backgrounds. There was something to be said for shared pain bringing people closer together, an unspoken understanding you could convey with just a look. She was suddenly an orphan without a home, just like him, and he was loyal and dedicated to their cause, he wouldn’t leave her. He obviously cared about her, but was that really enough? It wouldn’t be fair to him to confuse her own need for comfort and her compassion and friendship for him for more. _No._ It was better for all of them if she didn’t get involved. They had a war to win, perhaps afterwards if they lived, she could sort out what she wanted. Her thoughts were interrupted by her commlink going off.

“Leia Organa.”

“Major Farr here, ma’am. I’m calling to report shots and an explosion in the south corridor. We may have an intruder. Searches are underway.”

“Any injuries Major?” “Only one, Commander Skywalker.”

“Condition!”

“Unkown. He’s been taken to the med chamber.”

“Thank you, please keep me updated. I’ll head there now.” _Blast! Luke_. Her fear spiking she hurried off to see him. Leia arrived to find Han already there and Luke laying sideways on a bed being tended to by the Doctor. Relief flooded through her as her eyes connected with Luke’s, knowing he was alive and by the look of things not seriously hurt. He blushed slightly when he saw her and pulled up a corner of the sheet to cover himself where he wasn’t being worked on. She strode over towards the three of them placing her hands on her hips with a frown.

“What happened? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Leia. Just a few scratches.”

Lada was pulling out the last bit of shrapnel from his leg and Leia could see him prepare putting his hand up to his mouth.

“arghummmhrumph”

“You don’t sound fine. Care to fill me in Solo?” she said turning her head towards him. _Why did he suddenly look guilty?_

“Somebody tried to kriffin waste the kid.”

Luke interrupted, “Couldn’t tell who it was shooting at us, and then they tossed an explosive and I didn’t get out of the way in time.”

“And you just happened to show up at the right place?”

Leia looked at Han suspiciously. He knew more than he was saying.

“No, well yes. Look. I got a tip that somebody had a kill order out on Luke but I didn’t have much time.”

Three heads turned at looked at Han.

“Do you think somebody followed us here?” Leia was suddenly very worried.

“No, at least I don’t think so.”

“I know the Empire is out for us but who would tip you off?”

Luke looked puzzled, “Who contacted you?”

It was Lada’s turn to interrupt. “Luke this might sting. It’s just some bacta and a broad based anti-poison just in case there was something added to the grenade. I doubt it but we should play it safe.”

He nodded and grimaced as she applied it to his wounds.

“Well that’s just it,” Han replied. “It came though one of my sources that has dealings with both sides so there isn’t any way to know for sure, unless the rebellion has someone embedded in the Empire, which of course I wouldn’t know.”

Leia glared at him when he looked over to her at that. “Maybe you would, if you committed to us”

She checked herself. Now was not the time to argue with him. They needed to get extra security on Luke and find whoever did this. Leia walked over and gave Luke a hug. “You take care of yourself and be careful okay?”

“I will. I’ll be fine. You best be careful too. We don’t know that they aren’t after you and Han too.“

“Okay Solo, let’s go give your report to the general and see how the search is going.”

“Later kid. Listen Leia. I just remembered something. I’ll meet you there shortly.”

Luke watched his friends leave and turned his attention to Lada who was also staring out the doorway. As if she felt his eyes on her, she turned and looked at him.

“How do you feel?” she asked him walking forward.

“Much better thanks to you.”

“Well I guess you want to talk now. I can see it in your face.”

“Are you a Jedi?”

She almost looked pained for a moment but replied, “No.”

“But then how did you… and the shot you…”

“I’m a healer Luke, like my father.”

“But you have the force, don’t you?

She sighed and looked down then back up at him. “I’ve only got a third of what my father had, not enough to be a Jedi, but still valuable as a medical professional. He was the real Jedi and an accomplished healer. He taught me how to be a doctor, and a few self defense tricks but that’s it. I’m surprised I could still do it.”

“Lucky for me you did. I thought the Emperor killed all the Jedi?”

She gave a short bitter laugh. "Not even the Emperor was stupid enough to kill off all of the medical personnel. Droid’s can’t do force healings.  He kept a few around but made sure they were properly loyal, with threats and other tactics, well, until they lost their usefulness that is.”

Luke wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t say so directly but he could see that she had lost her father eventually, and he could guess how. She had done so much for him tonight, but the thought that here was someone that could maybe help him, tell him things Ben never had the chance, it thrilled him, but he also didn’t want to cause her pain.

“Luke I know you probably have a thousand questions and I’m sorry that I probably can’t answer most of them, but I did make this for you.”

She brought out a data card and handed it to him. “My father kept a lot of notes over the years and some of his patients were Jedi, before the purges that is, so he sometimes wrote down ways to help with recovery. They read like Jedi training methods some of them and other notes discuss problems like you had with visions and a person’s danger sense. I wonder sometimes if he was sneaking in information for me among his writings.” She paused and sounded wistful to Luke’s ears. “I collected everything I could find in his journals, though it’s possible I missed things, and put it on the data card for you. Maybe it will help you.”

Luke was overwhelmed. It was something, a _t least it was something_ and maybe he wasn’t alone in the universe. Maybe there were others like him, like her. He smiled a broad smile that he couldn’t hold back and said, “Thank you. Thank you. This means so much.”

“You’re welcome. The alliance could use a real Jedi on its side. I’d suggest reading the parts that talk about danger sense first. You knew something was still wrong and it was contributing to your other issues. I know it tells you what it is but you’ll have to see if it gives you enough information to control it. Now let’s get you back on your feet. You can get dressed and let me see you stand.”

By the time he was ready and putting his boots back on the security detail was waiting for him at the door. Lada handed him a container with the scraps she’d pulled from his leg. “Here, give these to forensics so they can try to trace where it came from.”

Luke stood and tested his weight and it felt good. The bacta patches were doing their job. He took the samples and squeezed her hand. “I’ve learned a lot today, and one thing I’m sure of is your father would be proud of you.”

“Ready Commander?” One of the guards caught his attention.

Luke nodded to the guard and turned to Lada once more before leaving. “May the Force be with you.”

Luke ran into Han about half way to the Generals office where Leia and Wedge already were there talking over what had happened. On his way there he’d dropped off the samples at forensics. Han, he noticed was very quiet as if something was bothering him. According to Wedge, they were unable to locate the person who attacked them, which meant that he would have to be vigilant and very aware of his surroundings until they could catch whoever this was. All recent recruits would have to be re-screened, but it was also possible that someone had been with them for some time. There was no sure way to know. It was a risk they had to take if they wanted to win more people to their cause. Han suddenly spoke up during the back and forth of speculation and security discussions.

“Luke, do you remember what the detonator looked like? Do you think you could describe it.?"

Luke thought back, it all happened so fast he needed a moment to go through his memory. “I think so. It wasn’t round but more elongated and small, there were some lines running horizontal I think on it but I can’t be totally sure since I was busy trying not to get killed.”

Han grimaced and looked at the general who seemed to know what Han was thinking. “We’ll have to wait for the report from forensics but it might have been part of the supplies Captain Solo was kind enough to procure for us.”

Rieekan looked at Leia. “Which means someone either had access to the weapons store or they were able to get it before it went in there,” Leia said grimly.

Wedge was sitting next to Luke and said, “I don’t like this, I don’t like it one little bit. We better assume they may have a way to get information out and prepare for a possible evac to the other rendezvous point.”

“We’ll monitor all communications and set the jammers, maybe that will buy us some time, “ Rieekan told the group. “in the meantime, we better get some sleep. It’s late and it’s going to be a busy day tomorrow. That will be all.”

The group broke up and Luke headed back to his room, his guards in tow in front and behind him. He hated it. The last thing he wanted was to have more people in the line of fire because of him. He was mentally exhausted after everything, and he just wanted to pass out on his bed and not think of anything, instead of having to look over his shoulder. The two guards stationed themselves outside his chamber. When the door to his room shut, he let out a relived sigh. He pulled out the data chip Lada had given him and laid it on his desk, and stared at it. He was torn between wanting to sit and look through it immediately and wanting to just crash, but his body won out. He quickly divested himself of his clothes, dressed for sleep and climbed under the covers, turning the light off with the force. Why, he wondered, did it always seem easier to push with the force than to pull? Another thing for him to practice. He shifted his position in bed to something more comfortable. This was the first moment he had to think about the emotional purging he’d done outside. He was grateful only Lada was there to see that. It was cathartic, but would have been distressing and uncomfortable to have any other witnesses. His insides felt drained but also relieved, as if several vaporators had been lifted from his shoulders and he could finally stand. His sadness and guilt were still there, but it was not the dark cloud, it had been.  He felt like he could carry it now, that he was strong enough to remember and accept what was. He could still feel the pressure of danger lurking in his subconscious, but he knew where it was coming from now, and since there was nothing he could do about it at the moment, he settled in to sleep, only one thought still weighed on him in the back of his mind; _would he continue to dream?_


	11. Chapter 11

Time stretched ahead into infinity in the darkness of space, and inside the dark heart of a man with a primal craving for power, control and ownership. Ownership and possession of the one person he could honestly claim was his, and who should have always been with him.  
Vader had reluctantly given up on getting any message back tonight and retired for the evening. His agitation had increased too much, and it would not do for him to take it out on subordinates that he needed functioning.  
He did not bother to turn on any lights upon entering and he could only make out shapes as he moved across the floor towards his bed chamber. It did not matter, as he knew every inch of his private suite. Once settled in, he, as was his habit, he recited the sith code.

  
_Peace is a lie, there is only passion._  
_Through passion, I gain strength._  
_Through strength, I gain power._  
_Through power, I gain victory._  
_Through victory, my chains are broken._  
_The Force shall free me._

  
_Nwûl tash._  
_Dzwol shâsotkun._  
_Shâsotjontû châtsatul nu tyûk._  
_Tyûkjontû châtsatul nu midwan._  
_Midwanjontû châtsatul nu asha._  
_Ashajontû kotswinot itsu nuyak._  
_Wonoksh Qyâsik nun._

He pondered the words in his mind. Truly he had no peace, he was in conflict and it was forcing him to adapt. Yet this truth and passion he was feeling did not make him feel stronger. He felt powerless when he should feel on the cusp of victory. For the chains he carried within him had always been there his whole life in one form or another, and only Luke could free him, free him from Palpatine and together their power would be superior and they could restore the galaxy. Yet hidden within him was one who knew what his dark chains really were. For Vader hated himself most of all.  
He fell into a deep sleep and the dark canvas of his mind began to fill in with a color here or a fragment of a memory there. Vague images danced in the dark like wispy half seen spirits until they floated just out of his reach, and he was standing in shadow with only the sound of Obi Wan’s voice in his head, like a holo recording left in the force on a loop calling his old name. _Anakin, Anakin, Anakin, Anakin._

..  
Delicate snowflakes floated lazily down from a solitary cloud as if falling from the stars that glistened above in the pure cold sky on Hoth. Inside the base, within a solitary chamber, Luke Skywalker moaned slightly in his sleep.

  
“Ben where are you?” Luke thought he had heard his voice. He was walking along dark hallways that turned and twisted in confusing directions, trying to follow the sound. He turned left only to find another long corridor, at the end of which he could only go right.  
Luke paused calling out, “Ben? Is that you?”

  
Silence answered him and he stopped, looking for some doorway or exit to escape this strange place. With nothing to help him, he continued on when another muffled sound pulled him forward.  
With each movement, the blackness that surrounded him seemed to melt slowly, without notice, into something slightly lighter, not quite black but a shadow of black, if black could have a shadow and at the end of the hallway a figure in Jedi robes stood behind a transparisteel wall.  
Luke called out to the man that was facing away from him, relief filling his heart.

  
“Ben?”

  
The man turned his hooded head as if hearing his voice, but the face Luke saw was not the face of his old master, it was the face of a younger man with long wavy dark blonde hair who looked at him with intense blue eyes. The Jedi’s palm came up to the clear barrier and held it there, staring at him.  
Luke’s heart stopped. Was that… _father?_  
Luke desperately wanted that to be so, and he tried walking closer only to see the wall fade to solid black cutting him off from the image.  
His morning alarm was ringing and Luke woke up with tears streaming down his face.  
“Father,” he whispered.

..  
_Luke!_

  
Anakin pounded on the black wall that had cut him off from his son but it was as solid as durasteel.  
A familiar sound was invading Vader’s consciousness. His message port was pinging relentlessly, bringing him back to the real world. He rose slowly and walked over to his private station retrieving the message and calling it up on the small screen.  
The moment of relief when the contents relayed that Luke was alive was lost when it also gave the rest of the details. His respirator strained , as his heavier intakes of breath revealed the only reflection of his feelings.  
He could do nothing further without rousing suspicion and he could only hope, with some irony, that he now had to depend on the rebels to protect his son, at least for now, until he could claim him. He had dreamt of him again, this one more vivid than the last.  
It was bad enough for Obi Wan to haunt him, but now his son did too, this was something he needed to stuff in a box and kick it to the darkest spot of his mind lest the Emperor feel it and know.  
He scrolled through the other messages demanding his attention and returned his thoughts to his duty banishing feeling from his mind.  
..  
Luke’s morning meetings had taken up a good bit of time and it was unsettling, he had to admit, that they had not been able to figure out who the spy was. Everyone had been where they were supposed to be though there were not always witnesses to back it up, still the duty logs were all in order.  
Palo Torshan had suggested programming the red protocol droid R-3PO, who was quite unconventional and had been left behind by smugglers at the base, to keep his eyes and sensors alert and listening for any strange behavior or talk amongst the personnel. He’d already been successful at spying and rooting out an Imperial infiltration droid, so this would just be another assignment to follow. Palo had called him his secret bilka after the small but crafty animals of his home world.  
To Leia’s objection, Luke had insisted on going ahead with his days assigned objectives and boy, he was quite ready to eat lunch after that argument, especially when Leia had blown up when he refused a security detail. _Funny how a few yelling sessions could work up a hunger._ Today he would be taking his first taun taun trip outside, and he knew he was admittedly nervous but he was okay with that. Sensors were even more important now that they didn’t know if their location had been compromised, and Luke didn’t want to spare a soldier who could be better deployed elsewhere.  
He’d overheard Han talking to Leia promising to watch out for him and Luke was irritated. On the one hand, he was touched that they cared, but on the other hand he resented being treated like a child who couldn’t take care of himself. For karking sake, he’d see someone coming for miles out there in the frozen wasteland.

Later, as he was coming back from his meal, he headed towards his room and ran into Lada walking down the corridor.

  
“Doc,” he nodded to her.

  
“Commander. Hi. Did you get a chance to check out the data chip?”

  
“Only briefly this morning, but I plan on getting more time later. Thanks again.”

  
She waved a hand at him as if it was nothing, but it wasn’t nothing to Luke.

  
“Actually, there was something else I wanted to give you. If you are free later this evening I’ll drop it by after my shift.”

  
“Lada you’ve done so much, you don’t have to.”

  
“Oh don’t worry it’s not much, just a small thing really. I have to run, I’ll see you later?” she said with a wink.

  
Luke smiled and said, “okay see you then.”

  
“Clear skies, “ she said as she hurried off away from him.

Luke keyed open his door and quickly went inside to get prepared for his outside mission. He was not looking forward to all the extra layers of protective clothing he would have to put on but he knew it was necessary. He was still a bit concerned how he would react to being out so far across the snow, but he felt ready to tackle it. He needed to tackle it. When he’d finished his prep, he left heading towards the main hanger.  
The central gathering point was a mass of activity in all corners. Mechanics noisily went about their duties working on ships and equipment. Fuel and electrical lines crisscrossed his path to where he was meeting the other riders. Luke paused at the command and control corner and picked up the days assignments, briefly looking it over before walking to the gathered men. He noticed Han, who was also going out with them, milling around in his usual casual manner, making jokes to the guys.

  
“Hey Han.”

  
“Hey kid.” He gave Luke his usual half smile. “So what’s the plan?”

  
Luke turned to address all of them. “Security wants us to get these sensors in as quickly as possible. Looks like the handlers already have our rides prepped and loaded with the equipment, so you’ll fan out to the areas listed on your flimsy. We had a slightly different version back home, but these sensors work on the same principle. Each one should have a charge to detonate that will punch the sharp end into the snow to keep it stable, then all you have to do is turn it on and move to the next location and the next until you finish everything they’ve given you.”  
“Everyone make sure your comms are working. Han and I will go out the south entrance, the rest of you split up per your instructions.”

  
“Yes sir commander,” one of the troops responded.

  
“All right, Clotho and Lachesis, you two head out, then Atropos and Parcae will go next, then Han and I, followed by Tekmor and Pwyll. Remember to give the animal a few moments to acclimate to the outside temp after being inside here before you go running off.”

  
Luke and Han walked over to their taun taun’s and mounted heading for the exit. Luke adjusted the tightness of the equipment pack and took in a deep breath as he got closer and closer to the outside, the snowy landscape slowly appearing before him. He felt the familiar knot try to form in his stomach and he firmly worked to tamp it down as he crossed the barrier separating the inside from the outside.  
Han was paused ahead of him and turned back noticing Luke just outside the exit. Luke gazed off into the distance a faraway look on his face as he absently stroked the fur on the side of his mount.

  
He turned his attention back to Han who had a slight frown on his face and Luke said, “Okay, let’s go.”

  
They both took off and road side by side for a bit until they were forced to veer far off to the right and left as they checked their wrist chrono’s for the correct planetary positioning data to lock into their locations.  
Once his mapping route was set, Luke moved out to start his mission. He could feel the taun taun’s looping stride lift him up and down as it started to enjoy being back in a familiar environment, it’s feet perfectly suited to the different types of snowy ground. He let himself relax a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, and just enjoyed the freedom of being less confined. The taun taun bounded forward and responded to each little movement Luke made with the reins and with the pressure of his legs against the creatures sides. His body fitting neatly into the saddle gave him a sense of control and security, still at times it was a little like floating without gravity. He felt the cold wind against his face and pulled his scarf tighter around it as his ride moved faster towards his first location where he stopped and dismounted to set the first sensor. He felt his abdomen muscles tense as he landed in the snow and a momentary spike of anxiety flow though him. He stood still till it passed and then girding himself, moved to place the sensor. There was an itch in the back of his mind that he couldn’t place, but there was no time to think about it and Luke re-mounted and road off towards his second location.

  
The landscape started to slope a bit but he could still see Han far off in the distance heading away and lagging behind him. _His ride must be slower._ Luke stopped to place his second sensor and his feet sunk deeper into the ground at this location. He had a few seconds worth of flash backs, making his heart race momentarily until he brought his meditation exercises into play to calm himself. _Stop it Skywalker._ No need to replay that anymore he told himself and went back to his job. When he was done he turned and pulled up his macrobinoculars to see if he could still see his friend, who apparently was still finishing up at his first location.  
A small chuckle came out of his mouth and he pulled out his commlink to call Han.

  
“Echo 3 to Echo 7, do you read me?”

  
“Loud and clear Luke. What’s up?”

  
“I see you got a real junk of a taun taun there. I’ve already finished two sensors and you’re still at the first one.”

  
“Ha, ha, very funny Jr,” and Luke could tell by the amusement in his voice that Han had picked up on his joke. “I’ll have you know she’s got it where it counts.!”

  
“Oh yeah? And where is that?” Luke said unable to keep himself from laughing. The sunlight was intensely bright off the snow and Luke had to adjust the shading level to see Han and still he had to squint a bit.

  
“Me! Of course.”

  
“Well you always did amaze yourself.”

  
“Hey, it makes a good story. Okay I’m off to the right here. See you back at the base.”

  
“Right. Echo 3 signing off.”

..  
In another part of the Echo Base landscape, two riders were making their way along their assigned paths in the rolling dune like drifts, one carefully watching the other as he placed a sensor. When he was sure the soldier was not looking, the solitary figure sunk down onto the snow and pulled out a long range sniping weapon, lined up the cross hairs and fired, dropping his companion into a drift. He stood for a moment waiting to see if the person was down then returned to his taun taun and rode off into the blinding white sun in the direction of his real target.

In most places, when something was as brilliantly sunny and white as this day was on Hoth, any life would be hiding from the heat, but heat was not a thing on this planet, and its life forms had evolved and adapted to small changes in temperature rather than dramatic ones. Large predators instinctively left their caves in search of the few life forms that roamed the land looking for lichens that the meager sun would reveal on days like today. Smaller heads lifted sniffing the air, moving right and left as the thermal drafts and currents directed by the changing shapes of the land directed odors and smells to finely tuned olfactory nerves signaling food was around. The natural camouflage of their bodies provided ample cover as they moved out into the terrain in search of their needs.

C-3PO and R2D2 were both standing near the Falcon talking back and forth in their usual banter. If they had been human, their conversations would have sounded to an observer like an old married couple disagreeing over every trivial little thing, yet to those who knew them, knew it was in a manner that reflected deep camaraderie not animosity.

  
“I do wish we could end up on a nice normal planet for once don’t you Artoo? Poor Princess Leia’s room is freezing and my servomotors are sticking and locking up. I can’t take much more of this.”

  
_“Neither can I.”_ Artoo replied with a sarcastic electronic tone that meant he was not talking about the cold.

  
“I hope Master Luke and Captain Solo dressed warm enough.”

  
_“Master Luke is fine, but we still need to add insulation wire to these outlet areas. Pick up those bundles on the floor and stop fussing.”_

  
Neither droid seemed to notice the red protocol droid walking by until C-3PO knocked it flat on its back when the droids foot accidentally caught in the bundle of wiring that the golden droid was trying to pick up.  
Modulated electronic wailing erupted from its mouth along with a curse.

“E Chuta! What do you think you are doing?”

  
“Oh dear, Oh dear. No need to be rude. It was only an accident.”

  
“Right, well I’m so reassured by your point of view, but you still need to help me get untangled.”

  
Though flustered 3PO managed to extend his golden arm and help up his more flamboyant series counterpart.  
“I’m C-3PO human cyborg relations and this is my counterpart R2D2. And who would I have the pleasure of addressing?”

  
The droid turned its head to Artoo and then back to 3PO. “Amazingly, I’m a protocol droid just like you. Don’t let my red color confuse you, your goldenness.”

  
The droid seemed to mutter to itself and curse someone named Chaz in an offhand way before saying, “I’m R-3PO and I was on my way to find Wedge Antilles or Princess Leia.”

  
Artoo chattered something and 3PO repeated, “I’m afraid the Princess is in a meeting but I think you can find Antilles in his quarters, unless there is something we can do.”

  
“I think you’ve done enough, but then we all can’t have rich masters that care,” R-3PO sullenly replied.

  
“Oh yes, well you might think that, but you just can’t imagine what I’ve been through…”

  
“Aww well bless your tin plated servo motor.” Cutting him off the red droid walked off, his last words fading as he walked away.

  
“I think he liked me Artoo.”

  
The little blue and silver droid rotated his dome back and forth.  
_“The wires please!”_

  
The twinkling light of the stars vanished when the superstar destroyer dropped out of hyperspace completely shrouding them with its massive form. Nobody could argue that the effect it’s designer, Lira Wessex, was going for hadn’t been achieved in spades. Along its corridors Captain Piett hurried to find Lord Vader, pausing at a terminal to see if he was scheduled to be someplace in particular on the duty roster, not that anyone dared to schedule the dark lord often.  
He needn’t have bothered because just as he looked up the black figure approached him from the end of the hallway.

  
“You have something to report Captain?”

  
“Yes, Lord Vader. We’ve come out of hyperspace at our next target sector, and we are preparing to launch the next batch of probes.”

  
“Very good captain and you have something else?”

  
“The Emperor’s commanded you to make contact at 1930 hrs.”

  
“Very well. Carry on captain.”

  
Vader watched the captain recede down the corridor till he was gone. _What was his master planning for him now? What sabbacc card would be shown this time?_

  
He walked to his suite, sat down on the long dark navy couch against the wall and let his force sense extend out to the bond he had with his master to see if he could catch a hint of what he might face next. There was only so far he could go when it came to such probes without being noticed. Palpatine was used to his touch on a daily basis and had long ago stopped taking notice of it as it was useful to him, but Vader had learned to sense a _flavor_ to the bond, a minutely small, noticeable only to him, difference depending on his masters mood.  
He assumed that it might work both ways and had worked to perfect his shields to hide his own flavor, yet he could not be totally sure if he was successful. He sensed only the ordinary bond he was used to without nuance.  
He checked the time. Not enough left to bother with the meditation chamber, so he moved to his desk to read more about the system they had just entered while he waited, his tension building with each click of the chrono.

 

As Luke set the charge on his third sensor the strange sense of pressure in his chest got just a tiny but tighter and he quickly turned to look behind him as if something had touched his shoulder, but there was nothing there. He looked out across the expanse and only saw snow for kilometers and kilometers around. His taun taun was behaving normally whenever they would stop, sticking its snout into the snow and swishing it’s head back and forth as if looking for food. He shook his head and decided to ignore whatever it was he was feeling. He was probably just being paranoid or perhaps it was still a left over reaction that he had to work through.  
By the fourth sensor, the feeling of unease was worse. Like his dreams, it was a slowly building foreboding. He could feel a small sheen of sweat forming on his forehead. _Was the force trying to tell him something or was he having a panic attack.?_ There was still nothing there.

  
Luke paused to collect himself and breath in and out slowly working to get back to a normal state. He pulled out the sensor from the equipment bag and went about setting the charge, looking over his shoulder several times until he finished. Brushing off the snow from his glove, he pulled out his macrobinoculars to scan the horizon in a 360° sweep which revealed, snow, hills, the bright blue sky and clouds in the far distance, nothing more. Luke let out a deep breath and returned them to his pouch. Shaking his head to clear it, he mounted his ride heading for the next location.

A lone rider shrouded now in white coverings slowly made his way across the frozen plain, with a look of grim determination on his face. He paused occasionally only to keep enough distance to prevent discovery, the bright sunlight helping to disguise the killing intent of his actions. He only paused when he heard a slight moan off in the distance but it was not important, the sound too far off to matter. Sunlight bathed him, but it was welcome camouflage. With a smooth motion he pulled something out of his saddle pouch turning it on and placing it back inside.

Back at the base R-3PO had just finished informing Wedge Antilles, and Palo Torshan of his suspicions.  
Wedges face was the face of a man about to lose his normal command demeanor and turn it into full blown rage and dread. If the information that the protocol droid gathered was accurate, he’d rooted out another imperial spy droid, and this one had gained access to the weapons store and in turn supplied Luke’s attacker with the grenade they’d used. That meant he also had a few other missing items that they couldn’t account for.

  
“Did you get a name of the assassin from the droid?” Wedge asked.

  
“It’s most likely a fake name anyway,” the red droid intoned and he seemed about to say more when Palo interrupted. “If you have a name, give it to us. We need to know who might be in trouble besides Luke.”

  
“Here’s the data pad with everything I’ve collected and thanks for the pat on the back, good job and all that R-3PO.”

  
Wedge and Palo exchanged glances and Palo shrugged as if to say _ignore the attitude._

  
Wedge looked at the name and cursed. “Kriffing hell how did we not notice? ” He handed the pad to Palo who quickly called the command center, asking the communications office to raise Luke and Tekmor on the comm.  
As they entered the command center Wedge walked over to the communications officer Toryn Farr. “Have you been able to reach Commander Skywalker or Lieutenant Teckmor?

  
“I’ve been trying sir but there seems to be some sort of interference between here and the teams and we haven’t been able to establish contact.”

  
“Try again!”

  
“Yes sir.” Farr placed the radio call and all that could be heard in the room was a static crackle of backwash in response.

  
“Maybe he turned it off?”

  
“Not likely. See if you can raise Han.”

  
They waited a few more minutes as Farr waded through more static until they just caught the briefest hint of Solo’s voice replying as if he couldn’t hear them.

  
“See if you can boost the signal.”

  
Just then Leia walked over. “What’s going on?”

  
Grim faces turned in her direction. She had a bad feeling about this.


	12. Chapter 12

Vader keyed in his access, and strode forward to the center of the room he used to receive holographic communications from the Emperor.  
As he moved to the center waiting for the Emperor’s figure to appear, he worked to cover his inner tension in a tightly coiled shield. He knew that he’d been personally made to wait till a certain time to unsettle him, and he was past such games now.  
He kneeled as the image of his master flickered and formed before him.

  
“What is thy bidding my master?”

  
“Rise my friend. I have good news.”

  
“Master?”

  
“You’re efforts have not gone unnoticed, and my reports indicate you’ve routed several rebel traitors out of their nests with your diligence. Even small outposts are important and you are to be commended Lord Vader.”

  
From experience, Vader knew that flattery from his master was rarely a good thing and he found it disconcerting to have it turned on him. Still, that also was probably the intended effect.

  
“It is merely my duty as you commanded.”

  
“I worry that you over tax yourself Lord Vader. I sense something. Is there anything bothering you?”

  
“No, my master.”

  
“I’m sure Admiral Ozzel would continue with your efforts. You could return to Coruscant to renew yourself.”

  
“Thank you Master, but I think I should stay here where I can be more helpful to you. The Admiral is not as _disciplined_ as he should be.”

  
The Emperor looked at him in silence for just a few seconds too long, seconds that only Vader would notice.

  
“Very well my friend. Continue on with your searches.”

  
Vader bowed and stayed that way until the holograph flickered out of existence.  
As he lifted his head, he imagined the Emperor flickering out of existence in a much different manner. One that released all the hatred he had built up, and yet he was not sure he would be able to do it in the end. His tether was strong and he did not fully see a way to break the bond his master held over him. How long would his master keep him guessing and anticipating?

 

Luke’s taun taun dug its claws into the snow banks as he climbed over a small hill, and back down heading to his fifth location. He thought he heard a noise from behind and twisted his head around to look over his shoulder once again. Though there was nothing to see, it felt like a whisper or a ghost lingering over his shoulder. The beast grunted and vocalized as Luke dismounted when he reached his next target spot. He sensed that it seemed more agitated, but was it just picking up his anxiety or was it something else?

  
_Stop jumping at shadows. There’s nothing there._

  
He pulled out the sensor and noticed his hand was shaking a little. He could feel the fear building, and tried to reach out into the force to gain some stability. For a moment he felt filled with strength but before long, it faded away just like the white landscape disappeared off into the distance fading into the far away horizon. The harsh cold sunlight offered him no comfort, but instead, seemed to mock his memories of the hot desert sands. His muscles easily recalled the motions of placing the warning sensors around his homestead, pulling out a sudden rush of memories and melancholy- for all the good they had done in the end. He looked down at the snow and suddenly bent down to scoop up a mound in his hand making a ball, staring at it before he crushed it with his hand, taking a deep breath in and letting it go. The past was gone but his unease still remained  
He walked over to place the sensor in and set the charge, wondering if he should check in with the base or wait till he finished his last placement. He looked into the equipment pack.

  
“Only one left, might as well wait.”

 

A good distance away, a target lock had Luke Skywalker centered again, but only briefly, until he walked behind his taun taun to mount his ride and the rifle was lowered. Through macrobinoculars, the man watched Skywalker ride off again. It was only a matter of time.

Back at the base, Leia was frantically trying to reach Luke or Han, but the signal appeared to be jammed.

  
“Luke do you read me?"  **Static.** “Luke, answer!”  **Static.**

  
“Han, come in. Do you hear me? Han!”  **Static.**

  
She turned to her companions in frustration and worry.

  
**Static.**   “All… done.  **Static.**   ing ba…

  
“HAN!”

  
“Have we tried to raise the other teams?” Leia asked the men surrounding her.

  
“It won’t do any good.” The communications officer addressed her. “The rest were assigned sectors too far away to be of any help at the moment. I don’t think they could get there fast enough.”

  
Wedge turned to the Princess and said, “I’ll take Hobbie and the both of us will ride out to get him. We’ll bring them back. The both of them.”

  
Leia nodded and watched them run off to make ready to leave, wondering not for the first time how it was possible for her to feel this deeply for two men at the same time. Not that she would admit that to Han or Luke right now. Right now they both just needed to be okay.

 

Luke carried the sensor to his final position as he walked across the soft snow beneath his feet, but the feeling of foreboding was stronger than ever here. He could tell the wind was starting to pick up by the pitch of the sound that occasionally reached his ears. High up in the sky, it twisted the wispy clouds into strange long intercrossing filaments almost like the unfinished web of an arachnoid. The longer shadows his body made with the sun behind him reminded him that he would have to head back soon.

_Good thing I’m almost done._

  
He had the pressing urge to scan the horizon and pulled out his macrobinocculars again doing another sweep, searching, searching. He was alone. Alone like he’d not been in a long time, constantly surrounded with his comrades and friends in the rebellion. The beating of his heart sounded louder in his ears as he reached his designated spot and hung the binocs around his neck to set about his task.

 

The camouflaged figure looked around and decided this was the perfect spot for an execution. Just enough cover from the rise to conceal him and give him the perfect angle. The metal of his sniping gun was icy cold even through the tight gloves he was wearing. He positioned himself and pressed his eyes against the viewing scope to line up his victim. His face was one of complete detachment while he followed Skywalker’s movements, waiting for him to turn in his direction, letting his finger wrap around the trigger area in anticipation without quite touching it.

The wampa bared it’s sharp claws and sniffed the air staring across the snow. It could smell food close by. Food it was used to and more. Some other odor that drove it’s desire to taste even harder. Hunger driving it towards its prey, closer and closer.

Vader sat in his mediation chamber at his usual time. His talk with the Emperor still fresh in his mind. While he didn’t have the long range prescient visions that his master would get, Vader knew bitterly that he had enough. He was cursed with enough, but not when it mattered to save his mother in time, and not enough to see clearly what would happen to her or their child. He changed his breathing time to start his mediation and searched for the river of the force. It was like entering a maelstrom sometimes with too many things flying by to catch, and he had to focus on that one thing he wanted to see most.  
The world turned white and cold and barren, and it was as if everything around Vader had disappeared into this whiteness except for one thing. A black hole was slowly sucking him inside, pulling him, stretching him until he felt like he was falling, but it wasn’t a black hole, it was the barrel of a weapon that turned and slowly pointed right at his mask. And as he stared at that circle of death he heard an unholy howl.

  
_Luke. NO!_

 

Wedge Antilles and Hobbie Klivian strode across the cold landscape on their taun tauns as fast as they could reasonably push the beasts.

  
“Let’s stop here a moment.” Wedge looked over at Hobbie. He pulled out his binocs , sweeping the area, and pausing to focus when something caught his eye.

  
“What is it? You see something?”

  
“Maybe. That way,” he pointed off to his right further ahead.

  
Closing in, Wedge’s voice tightened when he saw a prone figure lying in the snow, and he kicked his beast to move closer. About 30 meters further was a riderless taun taun casually digging through the snow with its snout.

  
“Hobbie, look!” They both dismounted and ran over. Wedge could see a trace of blood on the snow and a blast through the figures back. He turned the body over.

  
“Tekmor,” Hobbie whispered, looking around quickly in an arc.

  
Both of the rogues faces were grim. Pwyll was nowhere to be found.

 

Luke set the sensor and stood up, but his arms and legs suddenly began to tremble as if shaking from the chill of the icy wind, but it was something else that made him feel this gripping fear. His heart ran faster and his imagination took flight when he heard though the wind an inhuman sound.

_Now._

The agent of the Emperor had his victim centered. His finger pulling against the trigger, tighter, tighter when suddenly a large shadow loomed over him from behind and he heard a deep roar. Spiteful, hairy claws ripped at his body and pulled him towards the taun taun and as the blackness took him, he heard the sound of a scream and did not know if it was him or the beast.

Luke whipped his body towards the sound, and just as he did a darkness crept slowly over him as if the collector of souls had come. He shuddered and looked up at the sky. It was just the sun passing behind a heavy cloud. He felt a rush of something then, as if someone had pulled out the plug from all the pent up tension of the day and it flowed out of him in waves till he was almost euphoric with relief. He inhaled a deep cold breath and let it out, wondering what had just happened, but all was quiet again.  
Luke gave one last sweep of the area with his eyes and hopped on his mount to head back to the base.

 

Wedge set off towards Luke’s planned vectors, while Hobbie retrieved the wandering taun taun, carefully strapping Tekmor’s body across the seat. He then connected the reins to his own ride and liked them together so he could return to the base.  
Wedge watched his friend disappear across the snow and pulled out his comm.

  
“Rogue 3 to Echo 3, Luke do you read me?”

**Static...static**

“Luke, come in. Han.”

  
Wedge adjusted himself in his seat and tried a few more times but the interference was not clearing, so he kept to his plan and continued on until he reached the spot on the map where Luke was supposed to place a sensor. Long shadows stretched out from the drifts as the sun began to move lower in the sky. Nothing here to mar his view save for a rock outcrop or two. And there it was, the sensor, right where it was supposed to be, but not his friend and commander. He did a wider sweep of the general area and began tracking along the direction Luke would have gone in, and that was when he eventually found it.  
Wedge dismounted and walked down from the small drift he had climbed. He paused staring at the thick trail of blood in the snow, his heart racing. He examined the tracks in the snow and the trailing lines as if something was dragged, but it was hard to tell what happened, what with the disturbed snow and the effect of the wind burying over some of the evidence. Blood was in several places,  but he couldn’t tell if it was human or taun taun or both. 

  
“Shavit!”

  
He did a sweeping scan of the area with his macrobinoculars, looking for anything out of the ordinary, but there was nothing to see but snow.  
Worry filled his gut, hoping that the blood was not his friends, but he grimly knew by the amount of it staining the snow that whoever had been here was dead, and he had better get back and report before the sun dipped lower and twilight began. He didn’t relish having to come back with nothing after promising the Princess he would find them. He reached into this pack so he could take a few holo’s for study back at the base then looked once again across the horizon and kicked his ride into motion.

 

The base slowly appeared ahead of him as Luke pulled on the reins of the taun taun to slow it down. It seemed to know it was getting closer to home and food because he could feel it increasing its strides faster and faster. He couldn’t blame it. He was cold and hungry too and he had to admit very relieved to be back. Ahead of him he observed another rider pause, look back in his direction and wave.  
It was Han. He could tell by the suddenly smug grin on his friends face as he approached.

  
“So, I see you finally made it back kid. Guess my ride isn’t a piece of junk after all since I beat you.”

  
“That’s only because I’m more thorough than you. I don’t cut corners.”

  
Han threw his arms up in an innocent gesture and said, “Who me?”

  
Luke just laughed and shook his head. “Alright let’s get going and get these guys back where they belong.”

  
They both took off to finish the last bit of distance to the base, and as Luke crossed the threshold, a smile crossed his face at the sight of the two droids standing guard as if they were waiting for him. What he didn’t expect was the shocked looks on the faces of the other people who came running up to them.  
Leia practically threw herself into his arms. Not that he minded all that much, though he had a feeling Han did based on the frown he could see.

  
“Luke! You’re safe. We were so worried after we found out.”

  
Luke looked at Han, a knot in his gut suddenly, but Han returned the favor with a shrug that didn’t quite come off as nonchalant as he tried to make it.

  
“Found out what princess?” Han said finally getting her attention.

  
“We identified the person that attacked Luke and they were part of the group assignment today.” Leia looked grim and worried. “Did either of you see Pwyll?”

  
Luke’s mind immediately returned to his vague, disturbing feelings of dread and it now made sense, but it was a sense that did not give him any relief. If he had been stalked then why was he still here and not laying dead out in the snow?

  
“No.” Both he and Han replied at the same time. Luke went on. “I did all my placements and came back. I didn’t see a thing.”

He did feel something, like he had in the frozen hallway, but he wasn’t sure if he should voice that here and now. He was still so unsure how to interpret the things that would fill his mind and gut, and without Ben to ask it was another reminder of how alone he really was. He vowed to himself to read the rest of that data chip Lada had given him tonight.

  
“Was it him?” Luke asked grimly. “Did he come back?”

  
Just as Leia was about to answer him, the commotion of another arrival took his attention away. It was Hobbie arriving with another taun taun in tow. A taun taun with a body draped across the seat.  
He heard Leia gasp out the name Wedge, when she saw them, and they all rushed over. Luke could feel the anticipatory dread he’d always felt when a comrade was killed press in on him. Neither of the rogues had been part of the sensor assignment, so they must have been sent out after him. A rush of guilt filled him as he reached his squad mate.  
Han had walked over to help untie the body and he heard Leia address Klivian.

  
“What happened?”

  
Meanwhile, Luke had gone to help Han, who was just laying the body down on the floor. Luke turned it over and stared at the face. It wasn’t Wedge. It was Tekmor. Another wave of relief and guilt hit him. _How was one supposed to feel in a situation like this?_ He was glad it wasn’t his friend, but somebody he’d sent out was still dead. He hated this. He hated it all sometimes, but he knew what they were fighting for was important. It needed to end, somehow, someway and soon.  
Luke turned his head to see Hobbie talking to Leia and he walked towards them with Han,  as the medics arrived to take care of the body.  
He arrived just in time to hear Hobbie describing finding Tekmor shot dead and telling Leia where Wedge had gone looking for him and Han.

  
“Woah, wait a minute. Why didn’t you just comm. Us?” Luke asked Leia.

  
Han cleared his throat. “Is that what I was hearing? Everything was garbled with static.”

  
“We did try. The comms were jammed. We couldn’t get through to either of you so we sent out Hobbie and Wedge.”

  
“That means he’s still out there. If Pwyll thinks it’s me…” Luke trailed off and started back towards the taun tauns.

  
“Luke wait,” Han yelled to him and pointed outside.

  
He followed the direction of Hans hand and saw a rider coming. Wedge was heading back towards the base, and he let out a rush of air that he’d been holding in.  
Luke felt Leia’s hand grasp his and entwine momentarily in a brief squeeze of relief,  and he nodded back to her. His friend smiled when he saw both he and Han were back, not a warm smile, but a brief moment of relief and recognition, before his face turned serious again.  
While they waited for Wedge to dismount and get his gear unstrapped Luke said, “I don’t like the look on his face.”

  
“Me either,” came Han’s voice next to him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter. The Empire Strikes Back continues after this ends. A big thank you to everyone that read it, it is most appreciated. Hope you enjoyed the story

The lingering light was slowly fading beneath the horizon by the time they had all gone over the holos that Wedge had taken out on the frozen plain. The deep purple colors of the setting sun indicated that perhaps another storm might be gathering somewhere far in the distance, the temperature outside turning even colder with the fading of the light. There would be no further chance to go out and look today. Whatever had happened to Pwyll, could not be confirmed, but from the amount of blood on the snow, they could only assume he was dead, or would be soon from the elements. While they had heard references and anecdotes about predators on Hoth, the lack of first hand visuals or info on how many or where they lived, seemed to suggest they were far and few between, which so far had been backed up by what sensor readings they could get. Despite that, Pwyll must have run into one, which was good luck for Luke, but not so much for Pwyll. Luke shivered involuntarily, remembering those strange sounds out in the night. So far, intelligence had backtracked Pwyll’s records as far as they could, but it would be impossible to truly find out who sent out the death mark , though Luke didn’t doubt who it probably was. They were all wanted regardless, and it was over now, in any case and Luke just wanted to grab something to eat and head back to his room. Tomorrow, he and Han would go out and finish the sector that had been Pwyll’s and Tekmor’s and then he could relax.

 

Across the plain, over the mountains and through the long glacial pass, the next storm was forming up slowly, adding all three conditions for another blizzard; enough humidity, dropping temperatures at ground level and the increasing winds would within 48 hours, combine to create new white out conditions. Nervous creatures adapted to sense the air, moved to more sheltered areas, while those who did not belong on this planet made ready for the evening on Echo base. Somewhere, out among the stars on board a star destroyer, a sith lord was caught between his driving need, and an uneasy foreboding which had mostly faded away as suddenly as it had come in his vision, yet somehow, an echo still remained to taint his normal thoughts, following him like his own shadow.  
He had gone through the rest of his day distracted enough that he’d delegated some work to Piett and eventually found his way down to his personal tie fighter. Vader walked over to his ship, kept separate from the rest of the fighters, tucked away in a private spot. Some people might think it beneath the dark lord of the sith to work on upgrading or repairing his ship, but not to anyone that truly knew Vader. He’d changed much from the man he once was, but the emotional satisfaction that working on something mechanical had always given him had never left. When his mind felt chaotic, noisy or fractured, it was a place where he could bring order and logic to the forefront. It was a place where the physical act of solving a problem was both simple yet transcendent at the same time. Irritating flaws could be fixed. Not so easy with the living, and Vader had always craved order. He opened a storage compartment on the outside of his Tie, and began pulling out the tools he might need to run through his system checks. He draped his cape over the side panel and went to work, trying not to think about his son.

 

Luke left the dining chamber and returned to his room. He shrugged off his outwear and casually tossed them into the locker, walked over to his bed, placed his saber next to him on the little table, flopped down and lifted his arms up to cradle his head. It had already been a long, tense day, and he needed time to process it all and sort all the things in his head. The biggest relief for him was the fact that he’d been able to gain a good measure of control and subdue his fears and not let it overpower him, even when his very life had been on the line. His eyes fell on the cold surface next to him and ran his hand over the white walls of his room, thinking back to the first time he touched it when he arrived. He already felt like a different person since then, since his first night and that dream. He thought back to his room growing up on the farm, and the white stone walls there that felt refreshingly cool underground in comparison to the blazing heat of the outside. He felt safe there at the farm, in the comfort of his things and the distant sounds that echoed down the hall to his room from other parts of the house. He could hear the sounds of people and equipment moving outside along the icy corridor now, but there was nothing comforting or safe about this planet; he was no longer a child and he no longer had a home. His gaze landed on his desk where the data card Lada had given him lay, and he got up to finish reading it. Much of it turned out to be detailed instructions on different kinds of Jedi self healing. Expected, he supposed, since her father was a healer. Certainly this was something he was not yet skilled to even attempt. It seemed to involve being able to focus and turn inward to manipulate things on a cellular level, and it was with some awe that he realized just how much skill this would take, and a deep sadness that such power was snuffed out of the galaxy. He wondered if his father had such a skill, he wondered if he would ever be able to do it one day, but he was grateful to have the instructions none the less.  
The rest of it, however, held some intriguing notes on mediation and different mental and physical aspects of force manipulation, and those he thought he could concentrate on. He’d been able to manipulate small light objects but the heavier something got, the harder it was for him to move around. He looked over at his lightsaber sitting on the table next to the cot, and thought about it and how Lada had pulled it to herself so quickly. He’d managed to call it to him before, but it was harder than he expected. Perhaps he was trying too hard. He slowed his breathing, focused on only that as the instructions said, letting his mind feel only the slow steady in and outtake of air and then pictured the lightsaber in his hand. It twitched on the table and rolled off to the floor. Luke sighed.

  
“Let’s try this again,” he said out loud to himself walking over to pick it up and put it back on the table.  
He walked back and prepared to try again, but there was a buzz at his door. He opened it up and there she stood, looking almost like the vision he’d seen of her in the hologram message she’d placed in Artoo.

  
“Leia. Um, hi. Come in.” Her face held that same desperate look he remembered and it stirred in him the same response.  
“What’s wrong?”

  
She didn’t reply and walked into his room and began pacing and mumbling to herself things he couldn’t quite catch.  
“Leia?”

  
She stopped and looked him straight in the face. “You’re a man. Maybe you can explain men to me."

  
“Uhhh, that depends on whether I’m in trouble or not.”

  
She sighed and glared at him. “Oh you’re lucky you aren’t in trouble, though why you always make me worry about you, is something you should consider.”

  
“Hey, nobody asked you to, you know!” he said just a little bit annoyed.

  
She walked over and sat down on his bed and waved his comment off. “It’s not you, it’s Han. He’s so infuriating, and arrogant I want to send him packing, but I can’t. We need him and I’m worried he’s thinking of leaving us.”

  
“Well you could try being nicer to him.” Which was apparently the wrong thing to say by the look on her face and the laser bolts she was giving him.

  
“You’re just as bad as him.” She stood up again one hand on her hip.

  
“What makes you think he’s planning to leave?”

  
“I overheard him talking to Chewie, about what happened today. He was saying that the hit attempt on you was too close for comfort for him, and next time it might be him. He asked Chewie to hurry up with the Falcon’s mechanical issues.”

  
Luke walked over to her and made her look at him.  
“That doesn’t mean he’s going to leave. He likes hanging around us too much.” Luke tried for a joke to lighten her mood.

  
“Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I just don’t want to lose either one of you. Just try to talk him out of it if he says anything to you okay?"

  
“Well sure, but he’s not in the habit of telling me his plans.”

  
"Oh, I shouldn’t have bothered you with this, I should go,” but she said it with a half smile and Luke took that as a half victory.

  
“Hey, what are friends for, right?”

  
She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. Luke opened his door and held her hand briefly as she stepped out into the corridor. “Thanks, Luke. Don’t tell Han about this okay?” She leaned in close and gave him another short kiss on the cheek. “Talk to you later.”

  
“Okay.” And as the door slid shut neither one of them noticed Han at the opposite end of the corridor watching as Leia walked away.

  
Once Luke was back in his room his thoughts turned back to his lightsaber. Whatever issues Han and Leia had they needed to work it out for themselves. He had things he needed to work on of his own. He wasn’t sure how he felt about her himself, or about Han’s obvious interest. _Why did it all seem so muddled?_ He sighed and concentrated again on his breathing and looked at his weapon imaging it as an extension of his hand and with a suddenness that was a bit surprising it leaped into his hand. Luke Skywalker smiled.

 

The firmament before him spread out as Vader piloted his tie in a quick testing run. The clear barrier between him and the vacuum of space gave him a wide view of the star destroyer as he twisted and turned, testing his inertial dampening and tork. As a child he wanted to feel this kind of freedom, to rise up and fly into the expanse like a winged creature from one of his mothers folk tales. Little did he know how soon he would do that, and what it might eventually cost him. But it did no good these thoughts. The past and the future cannot dwell together just as the dark shuns the light. He ran through a few more maneuvers and then angled his way in towards the landing bay, satisfied with his adjustments. Just as he closed down his ship, he noticed a lieutenant waiting for him. Probably his personal servant come to admonish him for missing his scheduled evening bacta bath in his mediation chamber. While it did little to heal the un-healable parts of his scarred body, it did support and prevent what was left of him from deteriorating, while keeping him mobile and flexible. He found it ironic that despite all the advantages of his mediation chamber, he often found that he could gain better clarity out there among the stars flying with what might seem to others to be reckless abandon, when it was quite the opposite. It was the euphoria and satisfaction of total control.

  
He exited his craft and walked towards the waiting officer who, as predicted, handed him the status reports and reminded him of his ritual. Giving it a quick read he punched the wall com connecting him to the admiral. Ozzel’s back was too the screen as the picture came into view, but he quickly turned at the contact.

  
“Yes, Lord Vader.”

  
“I’ve returned to the ship admiral. Make ready to jump to the next sector.”

  
“My Lord, could we possibly skip this one? I’ve looked at the charts and it’s nothing but barren, or cold uninhabited planets that not even rebels would want to hide on. Our deadline to pick up supplies is almost here.”

  
Vader stared at the man on the screen saying nothing. The loud sound of his breathing only increasing the tension of the man on the other end. He waited, silence stretching. “No admiral. Your personal shipment of colo claw fish eggs, smoked losos and Ergesh rum can wait.”

  
The man on the view screen widened his eyes noticeably and grimaced in surprise but wisely only replied, “Yes, Lord Vader.”

  
Vader cut the contact and left the hanger.

 

Han Solo grimly banged open the panel he had distractedly opened, not even knowing exactly what he was planning on adjusting. Chewie growled a questioning phrase at him. “ _What is bothering you_?”

  
“Nothin Chewie."

  
“ _Do you really think you can fool me?_ ”

  
“No, but I can ignore you.”

  
“ _So what did the princess do now?”_

He stopped pretending to work and turned to the wookie. “What makes you think this is about her?”

  
Chewie just whoofed at him in a long wookie laugh, while Han scowled at him.

  
“I don’t know Chewie. I can’t tell what she wants, but she might want Luke. Maybe I should just leave now and save her the trouble. Besides I still have a target on my back. After what happened with the kid I’m thinking it’s not as safe here from Jabba’s henchmen as I thought.”

_"And you don’t want her in the cross-hairs. You know she likes the cub, but she like’s you better right?”_

“Maybe, maybe not.”

  
_“Maybe you should stay and find out.”_

Han stared at his wookie friend for a bit and shrugged. “Here, hand me that hydrospanner.”

  
….

  
Darth Vader slowly sank into the force inside his mediation chamber. He knew that the time was short and soon, very, very soon the Emperor would once again test him and he would use his son to do it. He needed to be strong. As strong as he had ever been. He could allow no weakness to crack his shields.

  
_Peace is a lie, there is only passion._  
_Through passion, I gain strength._  
_Through strength, I gain power._  
_Through power, I gain victory._  
_Through victory, my chains are broken._  
_The Force shall free me._

  
_Anakin, Anakin, Anakin……._

  
_Peace is a lie, there is only passion._  
_Through passion, I gain strength._  
_Through strength, I gain power._  
_Through power, I gain victory._  
_Through victory, my chains are broken._  
_The Force shall free me._

  
He was walking down a silent corridor of his star destroyer, a strangely empty corridor. In fact as he listened in the force, he was impossibly alone on the ship. Alone except for one beating heart. And he followed the sense of that being as he walked closer and closer. With each step the walls darkened until all around him was as dark as his cloak with only the tiny glow panels imbedded near the ceiling to light his way. He knew what he would find at the end. Waiting for him behind the transparisteel wall was his weakness, his enemy. Anakin stared at Vader, waiting.

  
“So you’ve come to destroy me,” Anakin said as his blue eyes mocked him.

  
“Yes.”

  
“You can try Vader. You will fail”

  
Vader activated his lightsaber fury building inside. “We’ll see about that” And with a swift, sweeping swing,  he launched his attack at the clear barrier only to have his blade skitter across like it was sliding across ice with no effect. He grunted in surprise and swung again harder, but to no avail, shock radiating out of him.

  
The young Anakin laughed. “You think you put me here as a prisoner, to punish me, to torture me, but it is you, you are the prisoner.”

  
“No”

  
“Yes. You are the slave, not me.”

  
“I am no slave. I chose, and now I choose that you should die.”

  
“I’m here because you wish to protect me, not kill me. That is why you can’t touch me. That is why you made this barrier yourself. Your bond with Padme and our son dwells _in here_ with me. Let me out.”

  
“No!” and he attacked with blind rage again and again, striking the barrier harder and harder, but he could not bring down the wall.

 

Leia made her way towards the falcon trying not to trip over the various obstacles in her way. It seemed like a stupid excuse to claim she forgot her spare data pad on the ship, _which she actually did_ , but she really had no other reason to be coming to see Han and she wanted to see...what did she want to see? _Him. That’s what you want._  
She shook that feeling out of her head. It didn’t matter what she wanted or didn’t want. They needed his smarts, his flying skill and his contacts. She could hear the sounds of him talking to the repair droid and Chewie as she approached coming out of the interior of the ship. The ramp was down, and she walked up cautiously dropping herself into full princess mode as a layer of mental protection.  
She walked inside and stopped in her tracks. His rear end was facing her as he knelt over the hole where they had lifted up the repair panel. A very toned and handsome one at that, and she felt embarrassed for the thought.

  
“Ahem,” she said trying to get his attention.  He must not have heard her walking in because he jumped and banged his elbow on the edge of the panel.

  
“Ouch! How many times do I tell you people not to sneak up on …” he stopped.

  
“Leia.”

  
“A little jittery aren’t you?”

  
Chewie laughed and left the room, whoofing as he walked away with the repair droid.

  
He scowled in the wookie’s direction then stood up and looked at her. “Who me?”

  
“Never mind. I just came by looking for my data pad. I think I left my spare here.” She gave him a half smile and shook her head. “I’m just going to check the cabin.”

  
“Uh sure.” He followed along behind and Leia could almost feel him encroaching on her personal space.

  
As she began rummaging through the drawers and looking under the bed, he just stood there watching, but not helping until she got frustrated and glared at him. “So are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me?”

  
“I’m not sure. The view from here is better.”

  
She sighed, “I should have known this was a mistake.”

  
“Seeing me is never a mistake.”

  
Leia stared at him. Silence stretching as he looked back quietly. “Is that so?”

  
“Yeah.” He moved closer. “Because here’s your pad,” he teasingly waved it in front of her.

  
“Did you have that the whole time?”

  
“Well you did say you came for it, but then you walked off before I could tell you it was right on the console.”

  
“Han Solo, I should…oh never mind. You always make things so difficult.” He grinned at her and winked.

  
She grabbed it out of his hand and tried to leave the room but he blocked her, his voice dipping into a low suggestive tone.   “So tell me Princess why did you really come by?”

  
He leaned in closer, almost close enough to kiss her and Leia took the gap his movement made to duck under his arm, and move out into the corridor, hearing his groan at her escape.  
They made it back into the common area and she leaned on the table crossing her arms.

  
“Word is you’re planning to leave,” she stated plainly.

  
He grimaced, letting her know her reading of his actions was probably right.  
“What makes you say that? I’m heading out with Luke tomorrow to finish the sensor placements.”

  
“So you aren’t prepping the ship to run out on us?”

  
“I’m always prepping my ship for escape sweetheart.”

  
“That’s not an answer.”

  
“Look Leia, I still have a bounty on my head in case you forgot, but I suppose I can stay a little longer.”

  
“By the way, about tomorrow Han. Why can’t you and Luke leave that to the others on the team?”

  
“Is that another order,  or are you worried about me?” He crossed his arms looking irritated. “Or maybe it’s him you’re worried about.”

  
“What’s that supposed to mean, can’t I worry about both of you?”

  
“Yeah. Sure. Well if you want me to stay,  I still have a job to do, unless you have something better in mind."  She watched several emotions play across his face before his smirk won out. 

  
“Fine. Just be careful. Okay? “

  
He grinned at her. “I’m always careful.” She edged off the side of the table and left,  hoping that she’d gotten him to move closer to committing fully to them or at least delayed him for a while.   It was, she thought, at least something. Small victories were enough and as the proverb says _nothing is under your control so relax._

…

  
Luke practiced for another half hour moving various things in his room, some with more success than others. Still for the first time since arriving he felt hopeful. He no longer had the nagging doubt that he was unworthy to be holding his father’s saber. He had a start,  and he could learn more. He gripped the saber in his palm, pausing to think about that moment in his dream where he saw the figure of a man, a Jedi who he wanted desperately to be his father. Just thinking about it made him even more determined to become everything Ben had told him he was destined to be. His door com buzzed suddenly and he got up to answer it, glancing at the late hour showing on his chrono.  
It opened up and Lada stood there in front of him smiling and wearing her coat.

  
“Hi Luke. May I come in for a moment?”

  
He smiled back at her. “Sure. Come on in. What’s up?”

  
She entered and looked at his desk where the data card she’d given him was sitting. “Have you been reading? Was it helpful?”

  
“Yes. It was. Thank you, it’s a lot to take in but it means so much to me.”

  
She waved her hand at him dismissing his thanks. “It means more to me knowing that my father’s legacy will be able to live on in some way. You don’t need to thank me.”

  
Luke motioned for her to sit. “So what brings you here? Is there something I can do for you?”

  
“Actually, yes. I thought you might like to join me outside tonight.”

  
He frowned at her. “Are you checking to see how I’m handling it?”

  
She laughed, “No. Nothing like that. Unless you do feel any residual anxiety”

  
He looked at her wondering what this was about. If she was checking on him he would accept it. “I’m fine. What’s going on tonight?”

  
“There’s more meteors coming in. It should be a good one from what I’ve heard, so I thought it might be fun to watch the show, and well, it would be nice to have a bit of company.”

  
He thought about it for only a minute before replying, “Sure, why not. Just let me get ready.”

  
They walked to the exit in silence. He reached the door and paused thinking back to that first night, then he punched in his code. As the door opened he looked out. Like a replay the snow was again piled up on the steps but not quite as high as the first time and as they moved down towards the bottom of the steps, the snow only reached up to mid calf. The air was crisp and clear, a perfect night for looking up at the sky. His frozen breath arched lazily back towards him in the breeze. Shivering, his thoughts turned to contemplate the woman standing next to him looking up at the sky searching for shooting stars. The outside light made her face look like a pale ethereal sprite. She suddenly seemed to him like a figure from ancient folklore, a Rai, a guardian of hearth and home and protector from evil who doled out wisdom and knowledge. He laughed internally to himself at the sudden fanciful thought.

  
“Look” she said pointing up.

  
He followed the path of her finger to the spot in the sky she indicated,  and saw first one come in, then two more bright lights lit up the sky where the meteors hit the atmosphere, turning to long trails of light till they faded in the distance. They waited for a few more minutes until five more streaked across the black sky and twinkling stars. Luke wondered if any of them made it to ground, or if they all burned up in the atmosphere. The trajectory was too far from their vantage point to tell. Still he was being technical when he was supposed to be appreciating the display on more of an emotional level.

  
“I used to do this back home growing up on the farm. But I had to sneak out at night because my uncle didn’t want me outside in case the sandpeople were out there.”

  
“So you were already a rebel back then.”

  
Luke laughed. “Perhaps so. I know I didn’t want to be a farmer even though I grew up with it. The stars called to me.”

  
“Proddings from the force no doubt.”

  
Luke pointed, “There’s another one!”  She turned in his direction to see where this one was.  
He grinned back at her. “I’m glad we came out.”

  
“Wow!” He quickly looked back up at her exclamation. A whole series of small streaks came in together, looking like the trails of fireworks, until they gradually slowed and stopped. They stood there waiting for more, but it seemed as if it was winding down after that. Only one or two came in, widely spaced in time and he noticed she was starting to shiver with the cold, so he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  
She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a flask and opened it up to take a swig offering it to him after she was done. He raised his eyebrows at her but took it laughing.

  
“What is it?”

  
“One of the Rogues gave it to me as a thank you. It’s called Old Homicide.”

  
Luke’s mouth opened in shock for a second, before he let out a series of chortles and had to grab his stomach as he convulsed with laughter. He lifted it up to take a drink and handed it back to her, his eyes twinkling at her with amusement.

  
“Be careful that’s strong stuff,” he said.

  
“Just what the doc ordered Luke.” And she winked at him. They both took turns drinking, handing the flask back and forth until the display dwindled more.

  
“Looks like it might be done,” Luke said.

  
“Perhaps, but I expect there will be more. They seem to come in spurts. Still I should probably head back in, but before I do, there is something I’d like to give you.”

  
He cocked a quizzical look at her. “You’ve already given me a lot. You don’t have to.”

  
“True. I don’t have to, but I want to.”

  
He waited while she reached into her large jacket pocket and unzipped it, pulling out a small bundle of folded cloth. She held it out to him.  
“This was my father’s cape. The one he would wear on official missions. I’d like you to have it.”

  
His eyes widened. “No, I can’t. That’s something you should keep. I’m not a Jedi. It wouldn’t be right for me to take it.” He unfolded the garment to look at it. It was a black hooded cape. No not quite black, but almost black.

  
“But you will be, this I know, so yes you can. Take it. When you become a Jedi, wear it.”

  
Luke attempted to reply, his throat suddenly tightened. “Why?”

  
“So his death won’t have been in vain. So his memory will live on.”

  
His eyes suddenly filled up, and he had to rein in his emotions. Somehow justice needed to come to those who had caused all this pain, and he had no idea yet how, but he had to find a way. He couldn’t insult her by refusing, so he took the cape and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Thank you.”

  
She smiled suddenly and her eyes glinted mischievously and then the next thing he knew, she had pulled him back towards her, and kissed him firmly and with experienced attention. To say he was shocked was an understatement. He had thought to pull back, but instead let himself enjoy the taste of her soft lips, and the feel of a woman in his arms, so he kissed her, happily and thoroughly. When their lips touched, it was as if his whole body was involved, like he’d touched a power cable, and he could feel the kiss not just physically but through the force.  
She released him eventually,  and giggled in her own surprise and in his obvious confusion and enjoyment.

  
“Um, wow Lada uh, that was...what was that for?” he managed to get out.   She paused for a moment before replying. 

  
“I always wanted to know what it felt like to kiss a Jedi,” she said smiling happily at him. “Thanks!”

  
“And the verdict?”

  
“Oh I’d say that’s one skill you don’t need lessons on.”

  
He blushed and stared at her pretty hazel eyes for a moment, then burst out laughing at her infectious good humor.

  
"Good to know."

  
“I’m heading in now. See you around Luke,” and without waiting to see if he followed she left and walked back inside.

  
Luke watched her leave then looked down at the robe in his hands and smiled. He felt suddenly free and lighthearted. He bent down, setting the robe aside, and grabbed a handful of snow making a ball and looked at it, then tossed it into the air. With a snap-hiss of his blue blade he two highhandedly swung the saber.   As the ball fell, his swing connected and it exploded in a burst of steam and snow.

…

  
Vader stared at Anakin. “It would seem that my efforts to get in are as futile as your efforts to get out. A stalemate then. It will have to do.” He turned to leave but Anakin’s voice stopped him.

  
“I wonder how Padme would feel about your plans for Luke.”

  
He whirled back on his tormentor. “Never say her name to me again! She betrayed me.”

  
“Did she? Or was it your master who betrayed you.”

  
“Yes. But that will be corrected once I have my son at my side.”

  
“Don’t do this Vader. Don’t condemn Luke to this dark prison.”

  
Vader walked back up to the barrier and rasped, “Would you prefer it if he died? Is it not better he live then die at the hands of the Emperor”

  
“So you aren’t willing to change for him?” Anakin taunted.

  
“I don’t plan on dying either.”

  
“Then you still condemn him to death, for you will kill everything that you loved about Padme that’s in him. She will be truly and forever gone, as will your son.”

  
Vader taunted him. “Love has always been your weakness.”

  
“Your arrogance and anger have always been yours.”

  
“This discussion is pointless. There is no other way.” He turned and started to leave again.

  
“Vader!!” Anakin pounded on the barrier again, but the dark lord did not turn around.

  
…

  
Outside among the millions of tiny specks of light in the sky, two more meteors streaked across the darkness as Luke Skywalker watched them brighten and fade away. On impulse he opened up the cape and wrapped it around his head and body. It felt strangely right, like he was meant to have it. It felt like a sign of approval. As if conquering and accepting the past, his fears and guilt had pushed him one step closer to becoming a Jedi. His future was before him and he could only offer up his heart to those he lost and hope they would be proud of him. He inhaled a deep breath and bared his soul to the one person he longed for his whole life.

  
_“Father. I promise you I will be a Jedi. And I’ll do everything in my power to destroy Vader and the Emperor. I will see justice done for you, for everyone, whatever it takes. I love you.”_ He threw out his words into the night, into that brilliant light of the force.

  
…

  
Vader heard the screams and pounding of Anakin behind him, and he did everything he could to ignore him,  when suddenly, Anakin groaned in pain and torment, and a millisecond later Vader realized that something else was going on. A feeling of almost unbearable longing reached out and caressed his soul with love. And that which he had carefully buried inside cried out from his prison of darkness as it was painfully, and briefly overwhelmed by a light so bright it burned.  
Vader’s control broke and an anguished cry escaped his mask. He heard Anakin scream and throw himself towards the transparisteel wall shattering the barrier into a thousand pieces.

  
…

  
Luke looked down at the snowy ground and thought back to when he was a child playing in the sands of home shuffling his feet across the fine grains. He smirked as he dragged his boots in the snow in the same way, and on impulse he found a clean spot and let himself fall back into it laughing in triumph, knowing there was no death trap here. Laughing felt good, especially when it came with a sense of relief and joy. He laughed until tears started to come out of his eyes, but these were welcome tears, not ones you had to suppress, or swallow or push away. He laughed some more as the cold began to freeze them against his cheeks, reluctantly forcing him to stand up. Luke walked back and began ascending the steps.

  
…

  
Vader whipped his body around to face himself and saw Anakin break out of the barrier with a snap-hiss. His red blade flared to life against Anakin’s blue one.  
Sabers clashed, crackling, fizzing, and echoing in the dark corridor. Vader attacked pushing his old self back with each aggressive thrust, but it was only temporary as he was fighting someone who knew his every thought, his every move. Each kick was met with a block, each hack with a sweeping slash, each cut, parried. The battle raged for what seemed like forever. As every attack was met with an equal push back against him, Vader momentarily faltered before recovering, and he knew that he could not afford to let Anakin get any further into the maze. He summoned up as much dark rage as he could,  and force pushed the Jedi into the side wall where his head banged loudly into the panel. Anakin slumped to the ground as the world turned black. The dark lord stood over the unconscious body on the floor breathing heavily. There was no feeling of triumph like he had expected, no sense of victory.

  
Vader reached down into the darkside and began reconstructing a new barrier. It would have a new place in his mind. Anakin had moved it yes, but not far, and he prayed to all the 7 hells that it would not be detectable to his master. Still, he was sure he made it so escape would be impossible, even though he could not bring himself to destroy him. Anakin stirred just as the new transparisteel barrier formed between them, pushing his body away from the floor.

  
“Impressive, but there is no escape. I hope for your sake you see this now.”

  
Anakin rose to his feet as he saw he was once again imprisoned.

  
“You felt it too Vader.” He challenged. “You can hide me all you want, but I know what you felt or I could never have broken the barrier.”

  
“A flaw that needs correcting, but you are right, I did feel it and now I know exactly where to search.”

  
“No! How can you do this? He loves you.” Vader stiffened and paused.

  
“Goodbye Anakin.”

  
Vader turned and walked away, his long black cape swishing against the floor in an arc.

  
“NO!”

  
Anakin banged against the new wall and collapsed down to his knees bowing his head, choking back tears of despair. No, no he would not despair, he had the love that Vader would not acknowledge, and he would hold on to it. He was not defeated yet.

  
Vader slowly withdrew from his mediation, and as he did, he could see the outline of his maze form and the new location of Anakin’s prison as he slowly pulled away. He stared at it as the shape was revealed; an obsidian snowflake.

  
He keyed in his communication console. “Admiral Ozzel.”

  
“Yes Lord Vader.”

  
“Inform me immediately when we are in range of Anoat, Hoth, Ison and Isis. I want my probe’s sent as soon as we arrive.”

  
“As you wish my lord.” He closed the connection.

  
“Soon my son.”

  
…

  
As Luke reached the doorway, a sudden gust of wind blew soft snow off the overhang down onto him. He began brushing it off his sleeve, but paused noticing some of the individual snowflakes. One could not help but be amazed at the tiny intricate patterns. So beautiful and mysteriously varied, as if one had frozen fireworks at the moment of their most beautiful. Other flakes looked like sea plankton from Mon Calamari, or the most exquisite lace. Yet he was drawn to one, like a maze of white corridors it pulled him in and he could almost picture being lost inside the beautiful complex shape. He shook his head at the stray thought and finished brushing off the snow then opened the door to the base. He needed to get up early tomorrow to finish off the sensors among a host of other things, so he best get some sleep. With one last look up into the night sky, he let the door close behind him, never noticing the impression his body had made in the snow.

  
Out there on the ground , reflected in the light, a shape was outlined by the shadows. The wind tossed fine, blowing flakes into the specter of a man, a billowing cape and perhaps a mask. It wouldn’t be long before the far off storm gathered and returned, filling it in with new fallen snow, as if it never existed.

 

~The End.


End file.
